Journey With Jen

Joey in 2005 & 2010 Isn't it amazing that he really looks the same? :) Yes, of course, a lot bigger. He is now 5'6" and wears a size 10 in men's shoes. But, still the same Joey. I remember being pregnant with Joey. So Sick! Not the glowing pregnancy every woman dreams of. I soon realized that an 8 month pregnant lady should not be sick over a toilet. Very hard to get up! :~D But, with the joy of preclampsia, he arrived four weeks early. A very loud screaming five pounds! He was SO tiny. But, with God's blessings, he was healthy enough to come home when I was released from the hospital a few days later. He was a very easy baby. Happy. As a toddler, he was so funny. I think one of his first words after 'mommy' and 'daddy' was 'wipe-y.' Every time he'd get his hands dirty, he would hold them up and want a 'wipe-y.' Of course, at the time, it was cute. (as a teenager, I have to remind him to wipe his hands on a napkin!) He became...

Faith, Cara, Abby, & Summer Spring Break 2008 (Faith was in kindergarten) Cara, Faith, Summer, Joey, Luke, & Abby Spring Break 2008 Looking at those photos makes me realize how quickly time goes. It doesn't seem that long ago but look how little they are! Luke was in 3rd grade like Faith is now. Faith was in kindergarten like Abby is now! It's so hard to believe that it's the end of another year. The kids have gotten so big physically and mentally. I now have a teenager!! And he's 5'6" and wears a size 10 men's shoe!! Don't get me started on the mouth of a teenager. Why is it that I have to 'pay for my husband's' raising? LOL :~D Both of my boys are in middle school trying to find their ninch. My daughter is now in third grade. It's already the middle of the school year. She will soon be in the blue hallway with the big 4th & 5th graders! I know that each workday we wish away so we can get to the weekend to be home with our f...

The cousins: Luke, Summer, Faith, Cara, Joey, and Phillip My niece, Abby Cara and Grandma Yarbrough Faith, Summer, and Cara Tonight I am once again feeling blessed. I was downloading my pictures to see what I got and just felt that warm fuzzy feeling deep inside. Must have been what the Grinch felt when his heart grew. My heart just feels full of love. I look at these pictures and think of how they have grown and changed. How their love and acceptance has changed me. That first Christmas years ago, I remember sitting on the floor by the fireplace being quite (unusual huh? lol) Just watching trying to remember any one's names and trying to figure out who was who. My niece, Cara, was about 5 at that time. She curled up in my lap and stayed there. Aaawww...the love and acceptance of a child can make a weak person brave. I remember watching Phillip and how clearly you could see how much he loved his Uncle Brent. The love and acceptance of a child is not hid, but shines through. N...

This time of year is filled with so many things. Some good. Some bad. So many times I feel like the meaning of Christmas is lost in the shuffle. Christmas is to celebrate Christ, His birth, His love, His grace. It is not "Happy Holidays." It's CHRISTmas. It's not the pushing. The shoving. The shopping. This wonderful time of year does not always bring out the best in people. I guess that is why my favorite holiday has always been Thanksgiving. I grew up in a home that REALLY 'celebrated' Christmas. Well, when I say 'celebrated', I mean my parents made sure that was lots under the tree. That was the one holiday a year that my mom did some major shopping! Which as a kid, made it an awesome day!! LOL The tree would be empty and in the morning, it would be full of presents. Even now, she makes sure that Kent & I plus my three kids have stuff to open Christmas Day. I just want to take back Christmas to a simpler time. I don't know if it's possi...

One of our favorite things to do as a family is put up the Christmas tree. We unwrap each ornament and each of the kids get to place 'their' ornament on the tree. Until a couple years ago, they each picked out a new one each year. When they started kindergarten, they each got an ornament for school. Now, we add a family picture to the tree each year. As you can see, it's not just about my kids. It's about family. I love to see how much they've grown and changed through the years. Look at my niece and nephew in the corner picture. They are both in college now! My niece at the top is in kindergarten. My Dad passed on last year. My tree may not be the fanciest tree with ribbons and bows. But, I look at my tree and I see the connections of family. The love of family. It's become so large that my pretty ornaments don't even make the tree anymore! And ~ I wouldn't have it any other way! This year has been harder for me to get into the Christmas spirit. It has ...

The Brooks Madison, MaKinna, and Jaden Brooks When I was growing up, I didn't have aunts or uncles that lived by. I honestly can't tell you the name of any of my cousins. I only saw them when my Grandparents died at their funerals. But, I had a friend that was like a second mother to me. She took on the role of what I think of as an aunt. She was the one that I could talk to that was kinda' like my mother ~ but wasn't. LOL :-) I knew that no matter what, she would always love me. I also knew in the back of my mind that if something major happened, she would tell my parents. But, for the little dramas of just growing up, she would keep my secrets. I remember going to Sonic and ordering a couple cherry limeades and just sitting their talking. About boys. About mean girls. About the life of a girl growing up. God chooses our family, but we have a say in who we choose as our friends. I want my kids to have that relationship with some one. They need it. As much as I want my ...

I was reading the Bible and this passage was brought to my attention. It's one that I've read before. It's one that I've heard before in preaching. But ~ today, it made me go back to re-read and even to go back later. Luke 17:20-21 (NLT): One day the Pharisees said to Jesus, " When will the Kingdom of God come?" Jesus replied, "The Kingdom of God can't be detected by visible signs. You won't be able to say, "Here it is!" or "It's over there!" For the Kingdom of God is already among you. The Kingdom of God here? Among the pain and suffering? Among the jobless? Among the hungry? I have to say YES! The Kingdom of God is here among us. It lives in the hearts of His people. Wherever I go, He is there. But am I acting this way? Am I acting as Jesus would? Rom ans 12:10 (NLT) Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. I fall short of this so much. I do put others above myself alot. But, those others ar...

Cara & Phillip Rolf Luke, Summer Rolf, & Joey Abby & Faith Snow Joey, Faith, and Luke Snow Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It helps that it's in my favorite season. I just love the smell of fall (between the sneezing!) and the beauty of the season. The green trees turn beautiful shades of red, yellow, and orange. Thanksgiving is just a day to stop...and be thankful. To look around at all that God has blessed you with and be thankful. Christmas there is such a rush. There's the lights. The shiny decorations. The gift giving. (and buying) Busy, busy, busy... And yes, I do enjoy the things of the Christmas season. But, sometimes the reason for Christmas is lost. (but that's another blog..lol ) But with Thanksgiving it's about family. Friends. Good food. So, this week as I prepare homemade bread, cheesecake, dressing, and the other wonderful things for my family ~ I am just thankful that I have family to prepare it for. Not just my three wonderful kids. Bu...

The doctors' gave him 6 months. But God gave him two years. It is Vetern's Day once again. This day last year, I sat with my Dad in a hospital room. That morning, I went through the denial stage very quickly. There wasn't any room for denial. Everyone knew that this was it. My mom sat on one side of the bed holding one hand. I sat on the other side of the bed holding the other hand. My husband in the chair beside me. The only sound was our tears and his breathing. Each labored breath. I remember telling him over and over how much we loved him and that it's okay to let go. He made it through the night with my mom and I beside him. Kent left to be with the kids. The next morning, Kent came back and we sat waiting once again. Then, at 11:30 a.m., we knew this was it. It's so odd that we knew. The room just felt different. We all stood up around the bed holding his hands. I kept repeating, "I love you." And, at 11:33 my Dad took his last breath. God blessed ...

Growing up, I put my parents on a pedestal. I was their little girl. They were supposed to protect me. Guide me. Be all knowing. Always make the right decisions. Then, as I got older, things changed. I was 18 or 19, still trying to figure things out and I became angry. Looking back on my childhood, I saw so many things that went wrong. The emotional abuse. The sexual abuse (not by my parents, but I felt they didn't protect me). Waayy over protectiveness. There was always secrets that couldn't be talked about. (and still can't be) My senior year my parents got divorced. That was the last straw for me. I either had to heal my heart or drive off the bridge. I read lots of books. I found God. He taught me about forgiveness but it was so hard. I was flipping channels and came across Oprah. It was about a mother who really messed up because of things in her childhood. This has stuck with me and this changed me: I did what I knew until I knew better. When I knew better, I did be...

Halloween 2010 with Great Grandma Yarbrough Halloween 2009 with Papa Robinson When we were getting out of the van to walk to Grandma Yarbrough's and I grabbed the camera (again! LOL), Kent asked, "Why are you taking it? We won't be there that long." I thought back to last Halloween. Who knew that 12 days after this photo was taken my Dad would be gone? I didn't know this would be the last photo taken of him. If I did, the kids would have been dressed nice and hair combed. Not with green and white hair wearing a robe. But looking at the picture now, I know that it made my Dad happy to see them dressed up. He had a nerd rope for each of them that I helped him pick out the previous week. So, as I took my camera to get another picture of Grandma and the kids, I told Kent, "What if?" What if this is the last time? What if? There are no guarantees. Life is fragile. Don't take those moments for granted.

I love this time of year!! The beautiful colors! The cooler temperatures! My favorite holiday is next month! Truly a time of Thanksgiving! I went with Faith on her third grade fieldtrip to War Eagle Cavern. It was a beautiful day spent with my little girl. I went with Joey and Luke when they were in third grade. It makes me sad to do all of the 'last time' fieldtrips. ;( Aaahhh... nothing says fall quite like a pumpkin patch! A warm afternoon spent with my family outside enjoying God's creation! I love making memories with my family!

The will of God...we were talking about this during Sunday school and it got me thinking. The will of God was separated into three types: The sovereign will of God, the moral will of God, and the individual will of God. The sovereign will controls the universe. The moral will is revealed in the Bible for us to live by. The individual will ~ well, the authors' strongly disagreed with that there is one. After all, we do have free will. So, is there a plan for us here? Where does our choices and God's will touch or connect? I believe that we chose to be here. Honestly, everyone talks about going 'back home' to be with God. So, that would imply that we were once there. And God is a loving and just God. I believe that we chose to come to this earth to learn and grow and to please God. And how do we learn the lessons on this earth so we can graduate and go back home? God places people in our lives. Events in our lives. After all, how do we learn patience? It's by having ...

Everyone knows that it gets worse before it gets better, right? I, like everyone else, just wishes we could bypass that getting worse part. Or when you think, okay, this is the bottom ~ guess what?! Yep, you guessed it. Slip-slide down just a little more. It's okay. God knows. It is so easy to look around at my situation and become discouraged. To feel hopeless. To look around for that white flag to raise up. But ~ that's not what need to be doing. Sometimes when you get so wrapped up in the drama of life, the blessings go un-noticed. I don't want that to happen. I want to notice the good things. I want praise God and thank God, no matter where I am in this journey. Yes, I do have much to be thankful for. Most of all, God. Yep, three little letters but one BIG word. :~) I have three great kids that overall are healthy. I am SO thankful each and everyday that Luke is not severe. I have a husband that is trying: trying to understand. trying to have the faith through this. try...

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary trouble are are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." Just remember that no matter what situation that you are in: You are not alone. You are loved. You are here for a purpose. You are a Child of God. This song has touched my heart and made me sing loud. Windows up in car, of course! :~) I can feel the words. I hope that it can give you hope as well, no matter where you are on your journey. Praise You in this Storm. By Casting Crowns. Written by M. Hall & B. Herms "As the thunder rolls I barely hear you whisper through the rain, "I'm with you" And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands And praise the God that gives and takes away. And I will pra...

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I cling to this promise. I am not very good at change. I tend to be more like the turtle where slow and steady wins the race. Not the rabbit which is bouncing from here to there, making change. I know this and it can be a good trait. I'm very loyal. I am forgiving. I'm one of those that you can call at 2 a.m. and I ask 'are you okay?' and 'what can I do?' Yet, there are times like now, when I wish I took change easier. I know in my head that sometimes we must be broken, so that God can make us what we are meant to be. Yet, that is never an easy process. John 15:2 "He cuts off every branch in my that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, He prunes so it will be even more fruitful." My husband's job, well, sucks really. He was working a month of nights. Then...

My niece, Abby My sons, Joey & Luke with my nephew, Phillip My daughter, Faith, with my nieces, Summer & Cara "If I could give you one thing in life, I would give yourself the ability To see yourself through my eyes. Only then, Would you realize how special you are.." ~ Unknown

1 John 4:12 "No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." I'll be honest. There are times when that is easier said than done. It is so easy to look at some one and just see what's on the outside. What they present to rest of the world. I make snap decisions based upon that. I have three kids. Is this some one I want my kids to speak to? Is this some one I feel comfortable talking with? There are so many bad things out there. So many things that I want to protect my kids and, honestly, myself from. Yet, it's my job as a parent to prepare them.... not shelter them. Yes, there are crazy people out there. Sick people that do sick things to children and adults. As much as I'd love to hover over my children, it's not doing them any good unless I teach them about the world. Teach me kids to yell "help", not just scream if some one tries to take them. Teach them to be aware of their surroundi...

Three little letters. One BIG question. Things in this life don't always go as you plan. Or if you like me lately, never go as planned. Sometimes I feel like a hamster going around and around in a circle but never actually going anywhere. You try. You pray. Then, that door closes and your in a room, in the dark, waiting...for God's Light to shine where He's put the window. Sometimes that wait is short. (Love those times!) Sometimes there is a lesson within the wait and it's long. Of course while I'm in the dark, I start to question, "Why?" Why am I here? Why me? (don't we all eventually get to that question?) Why now? and it goes to the question, "What do I do now?" Kent and I are reading a book called 'When Life Is Hard.' It talks about how those who are not traveling the path of God seem to have it easy. Their worries on this earth seem small. It's because there isn't a fight of good against evil. Evil has already won in t...

God's Lent Child I'll lend you for a little while, a child of mine, God said For you to love her while she lives, and mourn for when she's dead. It may be six or seven years, or forty-two or three; But will you, till I call her back, take good care of her for me? I'll bring her charms to gladden you, and should her stay be brief, You'll have the lovely memories as solace for your grief. I cannot promise she will stay, since all from earth return, But there are lessons taught below I want this child to learn. I've searched the whole world over, for teacher's kind and true; And from the things crowd life's way, I have chosen you. Now will you give her all your love? Nor think the labor vain? Nor hate me should the angels call, to take this child back again? To which the parents did reply, Dear Lord, Thy will be done. For all the joys thy child will bring, the risk of grief we'll run. We'll shelter her with tenderness, we'll love her while we m...

Well, we have been doing the GFCF diet for a couple weeks now. The question is: Is it worth the hassle? Can I tell a difference? The short answer would be: YES! We have been very constant with the diet change besides some exceptions here and there. We want those exceptions to just be once a week. (if that) It is not always that easy though. Suppers at home are easy to control and make GFCF friendly. And, we eat at home most of the time. However, it's things like have the 5 roast beef sandwiches for $5 coupon at Arbys. Sitting down and everyone eating, than realizing Luke's not supposed to be eating it! For some reason, I knew in my head that he could have Subway (which is what I wanted) so, we headed to Arby's. Yeah, I know. Go figure!! Grandma Yarbrough's birthday party was a couple weeks ago. I made a regular vanilla cake and cut it to make a flip flop. So, there were extra pieces of cake around the house. Which, of course, the kids munched on. Then, at the party, Lu...

Have you read this book before? It is one of my favorite children's books. "Sometimes I like to curl up in a ball, so no one can see me because I'm so small." Do you ever feel like that? I know that I am not alone in that feeling. We have all been there. Stress over kids, bills, work, even what's for dinner some times! I am an outgoing person. I love people. To meet new people. To help people. To talk with people. But, when it comes to conflict or feeling overwhelmed, I just clam up. I know this stems from my childhood. I know it but it's just a part of who I am. "I find somewhere soft, somewhere cozy and small... And that's where I like to curl up in a ball." Of course, that is not always the best thing to do. I realize that just because I put off that problem, it doesn't go away. The bills are still there. The kids are still hungry. (again!!) The job stuff will be there tomorrow. And, I still have to advocate for what's best for my kid...

Yep, it's midnight. Yeah, I've already went to bed once. I was laying there talking to God again. About the day...the week...what's going to happen. And He seemed to tell me to slow down ~ Breathe. Just stop for a moment ~ and be thankful. To appreciate the blessings He has already given me. Remember the song about Counting Your Blessings One by One? Remember the saying about God opening window when the door is closed? Sometimes I get busy looking for a ladder to get up to the window ~ that I don't Thank God for the window until much later. Breathe... James 1:17 "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above" Usually when I think of this verse, I think of motherhood or about Jesus. What is more perfect than a screaming, beautiful bundle of joy? Or to have Jesus die on a cross for me? But tonight when I think of this, my heart and mind opens to my other good gifts from above. The blessings in my life or the windows that were cracked. I am thankful that t...

Let's start off with school. It starts on Thursday. Luke is less than thrilled. He's nervous like all of the other new sixth graders starting at a different school. Tonight was the meet your teacher and get your schedule night. Luckily, he does have a nice home base teacher. She was Joey's favorite teacher last year. Then, the bad news. He knows one other person in the class. She is actually Faith's best friend's sister. So, I know that she is a sweet girl. However, I know he'd like to have a guy in class just as much as she'd like to have a girl in class. The assistant principal has come up with some kind of pass where he'll be able to go and see his friends. I am willing to give it a try. Luke is feeling very overwhelmed, which is normal. Hopefully, in another week, Luke will be not just okay ~ but happy. Joey is happy because he has friends in his pod and he's starting band. Faith is happy because she has her best friend in her class and the teac...

I feel that music can touch you everyday in your life. Sometimes just hearing a song can change your frame of mind, give you hope, or make you cry. This is one of my favorite songs. It has helped me through alot. I just wanted to share. I hope you listen to the words ~ and it can touch your heart and bring you hope as well.

The Individualized Education Program... Luke started speech and occupational therapy when he was 4 years old. He had an IEP going into kindergarten. They wanted to start him out with no support because although they'd like the kids to write their name and know their ABC's ~ it's technically not required. Just let him fail for several months, then give him some support. That didn't go over well with me. It didn't make sense not to try and actually help him when it's clear that he's already a slow learner. I had to call in support from Springdale's special education department to go over the school's plan, but I did get him services starting in kindergarten. Every year there's more testing of some kind. Another IEP. New teachers. The worry of getting the right or wrong teacher. Now, Luke starts not only another school year ~ but another school. Middle School. More responsibilities. More kids. More classes. More teachers. More bullies. And yes, we d...

Well, it's been a little over a week since we've started the GFCF diet for the family. I won't say that everything has been rainbows and tasted awesome, but it's been okay. Luke has his gluten free cereal with rice or soy 'milk' for breakfast. The rest of us are still using skim milk. There are a few cereals at Wal-Mart or Harps that are gluten free like Chex (rice, corn, honey nut), so that has helped. I've been making a fruit smoothie with the soy yogurt, blueberries, and his 'milk'. They taste just like the other ones I made with regular yogurt. Faith knows they're different and acts like they don't taste as good, but I think they taste better. We did try some of the gluten free bread. And well ~ it's okay if you toast it. But seriously, if that was your only option ~ my sandwich consumption would go waaaayyyy down. I've checked out several books and got a lot of recipes for breads and even cakes that I can't wait to try. I...

Well, we are starting a new journey together as a family...going down a new path to see where it goes. The book I've been reading, "Healing our autistic children," has given me something to think about, pray about, and more things to look up. Dr. Buckley describes autism as a "series of malfunctioning - gummed up, rusty, broken - gears or cycles, interacting in a child's body. These dysfunctional cycles play havoc with the child's cellular chemistry." And ~ according to the theory ~ if we fix the broken cycles going on inside their body, autistic children have a chance to recover some of what they've lost. It has helped a lot of severe autistic children lessen their 'fog', improve their speech, and eye contact. What about the high functioning children? I'm honestly not sure. There isn't documentation about the effects on those children. If fact, the other books I've read about the autism diet didn't even sound very hopeful th...

The Center for Disease Control stated in 2008 that 1 in 150 children in United States were diagnosed with autism. (four out of five patients are boys in case you were wondering) However, when the CDC look at children diagnosed with other disorders on the autism spectrum, such as ADD, PDD-NOS, Asperger's, ect., the number of children went to 1 in 6. One in six children. Out of a class of 30, statistically five are likely to have an autism related disorder. That is not the only thing to think about. In the 20 years from 1975 to 1995, cancer rates for children rose by 20%, most rapid rates for children under 13 years old. A study also found that asthma among preschool children aged 3 - 5 years old rose by 160% from 1980 - 1994. That scares me. It really opened my eyes to think about what's really causing all this? I was living in the 80's. It doesn't seem like that long ago. Yet, look at how things have changed. I have a child that is one of the statistics. And actually at...