Journey With Jen

Life does not always end up as planned.... well,at least our plan. And, since we cannot see God's plan, we hang on, pray, and trust.  Sounds all nice and pretty, doesn't it?  Something to hang on the wall.  Tie a big ribbon on it.  Something found in a Bible store.  Or a well meaning friend might say. But, when you are in the middle of life's mess, it's hard.  Sometimes there is no relief in sight.  Sometimes it is months of silent tears.  Prayers with no answers yet.  Day by day, you hang on knowing that God has got you through hard stuff before.  Wondering why your prayers can't be answered now....today. We all have these valleys.  This life is full of a lot of...well, crap.  Miscarriage.  Infertility. Abuse.   Death.  Job Loss.  Divorce.  Plus, so much more.  This world that we live in is not easy.  Hopefully there are many years in between the valleys.  And lots of wonderful mem...

It has been a long seven months since I've wrote. Here it is almost one in the morning and my heart feels heavy...or is it an empty feeling.  I'm not sure. I have been here before.  The bottom pit looking up.  Crying.  Yelling.  Telling God that I am not strong enough.  I am done.  I can't do it anymore. Please don't think I'm suicidal.  I'm ready for God to meet me here.  Not for me to meet God there.  Big difference!! ;) I am tired.  Emotionally tired and drained.  Life keeps stacking things up right now....between an unemployed husband who's health is rapidly declining, to my crazy mother, and my wonderful father-in-law who isn't eating and shrinking in front of our eyes.  I am trying to hold it all together because that's what Mom's do. But, it's slipping a little. Kids will joke with me and I get my feelings hurt.  Not a good time to read "Me before you," but yeah, I finally did.  Ugly tears we...