Journey With Jen

One of the facts of my life right now:  my kids are big.  That does come with some perks.  No fighting over what clothes to wear...most of the time.  No more Bob the Builder (Luke), Dora the Explorer(Faith), or Bear in the Big Blue House(Joey) playing loudly through the house.  Although, I didn't mind watching Sponge Bob.  There isn't anymore getting frantically shook at 5 am on Christmas morning.  Nor is there playing at the park and pushing swings.  okay....that seriously went to sad and depressing.  :( It is a part life that I am slowly accepting.  The good and the bad.  As my kids grow and change, it also changes me.  When my kids were small, teenagers seemed like they were from another planet and that stage of life really intimidated me.  I am on my third teenager now and I am like "bring it!"  Okay -- not everyday.  But there are some days I can say that!! :D  And being around 10 or more teenagers...

Before church on Wednesday, we stopped at Wendy's.  While I was in line waiting, I looked around and notice some people in front of me with Special Olympics backpacks on.  I look behind to figure out where my children were and make sure they were not doing anything.  I see a few older children that are participants.  My heart just breaks for not only the children but the families represented there.  I know that God has a plan for each and every one of us.  It's just hard to remember that some times. So, the Special Olympics group were ordering large quantities and we needed to go.  The wait was too long unless we wanted to be late to church.  We get into the car and my oldest is in the front says something like, "I'm glad we left.  I don't know what to do around special kids."  (He loves old people and kids just nervous around special needs kids.)  I trying not to cry while driving because special needs children tend to get me emo...

I'm linking up today with Gypsymama .  Five minute Fridays.  Five minutes are writing from the heart.  No editing.  No worring if it's right or wrong.  This Friday's topic:  EMPTY . Here I go... My brother has been on my heart even more lately.  He lives right here.  So close...yet so far.  We have had a rough childhood.  No way around it.  I know that we each handle things differently.  And...at different times.  But, the one thing I also know  ~  this pain.  this anger.  this confusion.  All those emtions that he has been dealing with since childhood, cannot be cured by hanging on to it.  That anger and hurt can only be emptied.  Handed over to God.  It's too much for us.  But, God can take it and He can handle it.  We must be empty so that we may be filled with God's love and blessings.  It does take time to go through the process.  I just pray that God ...

Let go and let God have control. We all have heard this time and time again. And, hopefully, we have all been to a point in our lives where we have to let go. We get pushed to the point when our hands fly off the steering wheel of our lives and we brace for impact. Hand it over to God. Yet, sometimes it is so hard to do. We want to fix it. Especially when it comes to family. All of those buttons get pushed and we go into the try anything until it works mode. Yes, I'm speaking from experience. My brother comes to mind. Him and his wife live in the same town that I do. We live about 10 minutes away from one another. Sounds great so far, right? It gets worse from there. I haven't seen him since my Dad's funeral in 2009. He wouldn't even show up in the spring of 2010 when we did his ashes. Before that, it had been four or fives years since I'd seen him. I've tried to fix it on my own. Inviting him over for bar-b-ques and holidays. Writing him letters. Sending him...

Kinda blunt and to the point, huh? Some one posted this on Facebook and I actually kinda like it. Well, maybe "like" is not the right word. I understand it. One of those things where I've been there ~ done that. There are several people through the years that I've cared about. I've given them pieces of me. . . of my heart. And, afterwards, found out that they never really wanted it to begin with. Haven't we all done that? My brother is a good example. Sad, isn't it? That the first one that pops in my head after reading that, would be a relative. If he wanted to be a part of my life, my children's lives, he has had opportunities. But, I can't give up that hope that something will change his mind and his heart. I still send him invites for the holidays and cook outs. I've baked a basket full of cookies and bread every year for Christmas for several years now. Looking honestly though, it has been two years since I've seen him... and we live in...

Anger. Five little letters but when they are linked together become so much more. It is one thing that everyone experiences. It has been around as long as man was here. And, anger itself is not always a sin. "Therefore having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil." Ephesians 4: 25-26 The word 'anger' can sometimes be translated into passion or energy. To me, those two words can describe moments that I have been angry. Yet, being passionate towards the work of God or God's word ~ is a good thing. God has even been angry! In Mark 3:5, God look around in anger at their hardened hearts. BUT, when anger is selfish or to put others down ~ it becomes a sin. And, like most people, this slips into my own home. I've never had to deal with a sibling with disabilities. I don't know what it's...

It's Independence Day! It feels like the 4th of July here! My brother's birthday is July 3rd , so this holiday does make me think about him. It is sad, but I don't even know him. Yes, he still lives in same city as I do. But, he is a stranger. I remember that his favorite pie was cherry and his favorite candy bar was 3 Musketeers. Those are things a little sister remembers from her big brother. Kent and I were talking a few nights ago about our families. This conversation goes into how much a Yarbrough he has become. (that's in regards to his grandfather... which is not always a good thing!) Then, it goes to my family. Seriously. What can I say about it? Abuse. Emotional and physical. Secrets. Depression. My childhood had so much stuff in it that I could be several characters in a soap opera!! LOL (yes, I can talk and make jokes now.) My family chain has been very twisted for generations. But ~ I had my Independence Day! Those chains from my childhood have been b...

What will it take for God to get your attention? That's a good question. For Christians, it is very easy to put God on the back burner. Yes, we know He's there. We cry out if something comes up. But, when do we stop just going through our lives on auto ~ and ask for His guidance... His help... His strength daily? Right now, what's on my heart are the others. The ones like my Dad was. I'm not really sure what or if he had a spiritual life growing up. I just know that I didn't go to church growing up. Once I started going with friends and would try to talk to him about it, he just talked about how 'they' stuck their noses down at others, how judgemental they are, and he just didn't need it. Then, cancer came and got Dad's attention. It changed him. He had the chance to talk with other's about God before he died. He knew God before he passed away. Not the Christians that sometimes get in the way of God's real message... but, God. The loving Fath...

Growing up, I put my parents on a pedestal. I was their little girl. They were supposed to protect me. Guide me. Be all knowing. Always make the right decisions. Then, as I got older, things changed. I was 18 or 19, still trying to figure things out and I became angry. Looking back on my childhood, I saw so many things that went wrong. The emotional abuse. The sexual abuse (not by my parents, but I felt they didn't protect me). Waayy over protectiveness. There was always secrets that couldn't be talked about. (and still can't be) My senior year my parents got divorced. That was the last straw for me. I either had to heal my heart or drive off the bridge. I read lots of books. I found God. He taught me about forgiveness but it was so hard. I was flipping channels and came across Oprah. It was about a mother who really messed up because of things in her childhood. This has stuck with me and this changed me: I did what I knew until I knew better. When I knew better, I did be...

1 John 4:12 "No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." I'll be honest. There are times when that is easier said than done. It is so easy to look at some one and just see what's on the outside. What they present to rest of the world. I make snap decisions based upon that. I have three kids. Is this some one I want my kids to speak to? Is this some one I feel comfortable talking with? There are so many bad things out there. So many things that I want to protect my kids and, honestly, myself from. Yet, it's my job as a parent to prepare them.... not shelter them. Yes, there are crazy people out there. Sick people that do sick things to children and adults. As much as I'd love to hover over my children, it's not doing them any good unless I teach them about the world. Teach me kids to yell "help", not just scream if some one tries to take them. Teach them to be aware of their surroundi...