Cries of a Mother: Part 1

One never knows how news will affect us.  For my own family, it was just another Tuesday.  Another day at work.  Another day at school.  For friends of ours, it was a day changed their lives.  Friends of ours found out that their beautiful baby they are expecting next month has a rare disorder. The survival rate is low.  I know that God can work a miracle and heal her.  Times like these it is hard to say "Your will be done" when deep inside you just want everything to be alright.

I cried all afternoon.  Cries from one mother for another mother intended for God's ears alone.  This news took me back to another day about twelve years ago.  A day that our own lives changed.  It was a normal check up.  My pregnancy was going great.  After being so sick for all nine months with the boys, I finally had a glow with a pregnancy.  :)  I had some cute little dresses ready.  A soft, lavender blanket just waiting for my baby girl.  Her name was Destiny.  Isn't it pretty?

First thing was during the appointment a heartbeat check.  No biggie right?  Except that it was silent.  The nurse went out and got the doctor.  The doctor checked for it as well.  Silence.  I remember tears starting to fall as realization started to hit.  The doctor called down to the emergency room and down I went for a special ultrasound.  I prayed and prayed all the way.  They had to be wrong.  They just missed it.  I knew the ultrasound would find my baby to be just fine.

I was wrong.  My baby's heartbeat was gone.   Automatically they want to talk about doing a D & C.  I was too far along.  The baby was too big.  I couldn't do it.  I told the doctor if God wanted her back, then He has to take her. They couldn't have her.  So, they made me an appointment for 4 weeks away to check on me.  I still held out hope that they were wrong.  God would find a way to heal her.  I would sit in my rocking chair, hold her clothes next to me, and talk to her.  Talk with God.  Cry. I felt so alone. 

All those moments came back to me today.   Tears keep falling for my friend.  That pain is so hard to understand.  I pray for the Great Physician to bring His healing touch to this baby and family.  I know, Lord, that You want only the best for us.  Please keep this family in your prayers during this time.

"The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower."  Psalms 18:2