Journey With Jen

Tonight we say good-bye to 2011. I wish I could say that I'll miss it, but...no. Not this time. It has been a year of struggles. A year of faith. A year of mercy. I can look back and see that we made it. That through the mercy of others, we were able to survive. Through God's grace, we were able to say good-bye to loved ones knowing we'll see them again. The year of 2011, we found strength while on our knees. But, I am looking forward to the New Year. To the blessings that God has in store for us. I am looking forward to growing in the Lord. Blessing others. Being a friend in time of need, not just the good times. Being a great Mom that notices those little moments. To creating a Home ~ where ever we may end up. Not on my list would be: patience, faith, and weight loss. I know your going to read that again to make sure you got that right! ;o) Yet, when you ask for patience, you get situations...that you have to use patience. To have patience, you have to use it. The same go...

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the govern- ment shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6 The day that children look forward to has come and gone. The wrapping paper has been cleared up. Christmas music will be coming to an end. Tomorrow everyone will go back to work as if it was just another day. Just another weekend. It's kinda sad. I know, I know. I think the problem is that I didn't really get into the Christmas spirit until well...a maybe a week ago. Now, it's over and time to put the decorations down. Time to get back to normal. And, I'm not ready. I don't want it to end. Not because of the presents under a tree. Not even for the wonderful BBQ that we had for lunch with homemade coconut pie for dessert. (although it was great!) I know it is not even the decorations that I'll miss. Those things do not make this season what it is. It i...

The cookie tray is done! We got busy today and did some baking. Luke made his favorites: coconut macaroons and snickerdoodle. Faith made chocolate & peanut butter chip cookies and a new pinwheel recipe. Joey made banana and sweet potato bread. I finished up with some brownies and fudge. I hope the firemen are hungry because their tray is full!! :) I love getting the kids in the kitchen. I used to be able to get them all in there, but now it's one at a time. In a few years, they will be able to follow the recipes without any help. That's good, right? To make them self-sufficient? Hopefully, they will still want me in there even when they don't need me in there. Hopefully they are learning to reach out to others, even when it is not convenient to do so. To help even when it is not expected. "Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." Hebrews 13:1-2 A wonderful thought, isn...

That sounds easy enough, doesn't it? Keeping Christ in the center. We try to do it the rest of the year, don't we? Why is it that in the mist of the celebration of Christmas ~ Christ gets pushed to the side? Even Charlie Brown was looking for more in 1965. Remember his baby sister, Sally, said that she'd been very good this year. She had a long list of presents but if Santa was too busy, he could just send money. We haven't changed much over the past 46 years, have we? What are we teaching our children? I didn't grow up in a church. Christmas, to me growing up, was a time for presents. Presents galore! All shapes and sizes! Go to sleep at night with a bare tree to wake up with the jackpot! (It still is my mom's favorite holiday.) But, where is Christ in the ribbon and boxes? Or where is Christ when we hand out cash and gift cards? As you probably remember, the Christmas story in the bible does mention gifts from the wise men. "And going into the house they...

They are the reason my heart smiles. My three kids: Joey, Luke, & Faith. My nephew, Phillip. My three nieces: Summer (left), Cara (red sweater behind Faith), Abby (little one in front) I love all the family pictures on our Christmas tree! The kids decorate Gingerbread Cookies to share! Fresh baked banana and pumpkin bread ready for special teachers! And a few gifts under the tree! Simple things that we should not take for granted. (pic 1) A family to love and that loves you. (pic 2) Warm memories to look back upon. (pic 3) Making memories and traditions with you children today. (pic 4) The smell and taste of food made from scratch with a touch of love baked in. (pic 5) The gifts that we unwrap each day from God. For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

This will be my third Christmas without my Dad. He died in November of 1999. Those first holidays are hard after a loved one passes. Things are never the same. Old traditions have to be changed or tweaked a bit. Every year, I have always made Jesus a birthday cake. Each Christmas morning before we open any gifts, we stand together and sing 'Happy Birthday' to Jesus. Every year since my father has passed, I have always made his favorite: Coconut cake. It is a way to remember my Dad as we celebrate Christmas. Today was another funeral. My husband's uncle passed away after suffering from Parkinson's disease for years. As we gathered remembering the good times of the man he was, it was easy to see how one man... can bring so many people and families together. One person can make a difference. It only takes one man to become a father or grandfather. Only one person to be the friend you need. Only one person to effect so many lives. What will they say about me once I'm go...

It's Christmastime once again, just in case you are still in denial. If you are a last minute shopper, then please, continue in denial for another week or so! ;) Me? Usually I am totally done by November except for stocking stuffers. I always love finding things throughout the year for my kids or my nieces and nephew. This year is, not so much. That's okay. As long as there are a few things for the kids to open Christmas morning, that is all that matters. Christmas, after all, is not about the pretty paper and shiny ribbons. It is the story of love. Love from a Savior to you and me. Love that we should share with one another, not just during Christmas ~ but everyday. I find it amusing that while we are singing about peace on earth and good tidings toward men, people are hateful, pushing, fighting, stealing... all in the name of Christmas. (pepper spray? Really??) All for that next best gift. All for someTHING. SomeTHING to fill up that void that everyone is searching for. SomeT...

So often our lives, our attitudes need some fine tuning. I know that mine has!! We are looking towards something...some one to make us happy. If I only had a different job...If only we lived some where bigger...If only I'd find that special some one...If only... There can be a lot of "if only's" in this life. So often that we are not content with were we are. Where God has placed us right now, at this moment. "When you pass that test of blooming where you're planted and keep a good attitude even when you don't feel like it, and stay calm when you don't get your way, and honor authority even when you don't agree, you are sowing a seed for God to take you where He wants you to go." Joel Osteen, Every Day A Friday . I know there have been many moments in my life that I wished I didn't have to go through. I prayed for God to get me out of there. To change others. Or to change my circumstance. All along, God was changing me. I would not take t...

"Whatever challenges you may face, whatever circumstances are weighing you down, you can choose your response. How you life your life is totally up to you. It's not dependent on your circumstances. It's dependent on your choices. Abraham Lincoln said, 'Most people are as happy as they've decided to be.'" Joel Osteen, Every Day A Friday . I have just begun this book and this is one of the paragraph's in the first chapter. It is true though. Our praise should not depend on our circumstances. Circumstances change for better or worse. It takes us many times to places we don't understand. So often, the sound of our praise becomes silent when it needs to be the loudest. "The enemy always fights you the hardest when he knows God has something great in store for you. You are closest to your victory when it is the darkest. That is the enemy's final stand. Don't be discouraged. Don't start complaining. Just keep offering up that sacrifice of...

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah." Psalm 46:1-3 It is amazing how God can give you the words that you need when you need them most. I love Psalm's. I am here once again looking through the Bible and this verse is there. One that I have read many times but one that speaks to me tonight. Don't fear...don't worry...God has it under control. It doesn't matter what is going on in your life, God knows. It could be the kids are driving you nuts. Or maybe you are trying to say good-bye to loved one that is about to be with Jesus. Or stress from the holidays. Or too many things on your to-do list and not enough of you to go around. We all have been there. I have been there. You are not alone. God is our Father tha...

Every morning when the alarm goes off. I reach over and turn it off and lay there in the quietness. Each day I awaken with a short, heartfelt prayer in my heart and on my lips. Just be with me today, Lord. Protect my family. Help me to do Your will. And lately, I've asked for His mercy . It really is a hard thing to ask for. It's like one of those things you only pull out in extreme emergencies. The last time I asked for mercy was when Kent had heart surgery this year. Before that, it was watching my Dad suffer from cancer the year before. Maybe it's only me, but I don't think so. I like to think that I can handle what ever happens in life. Does that sound familiar? That God can give it to me and I can make it. I'll some how be able to turn the lemons into lemonade. Maybe that attitude is what has gotten me into trouble. Maybe that is why my life has had so much stuff to handle...and forgive...and to heal...and to let go... God uses us, you and me, to give His mercy...

Pride is constant part of humanity, from Adam and Eve to today. Human culture is full of pride. In our family. In our home. In our jobs. In our clothes. In the car we drive. Pride is always there sitting in the back of everyday life affecting out decisions daily. What happens when it is stripped away? What happens when our pride is put aside? I am getting there. Peeling pride away layer by layer. Pride has no place right now in our lives. Pride disappears when your car is towed away because your husband's hours were cut down to 32 for 2 months and health insurance is $800 month. Pride cannot be there when you look in the refrigerator and there's a half a carton of eggs and a couple cups of milk left. And no payday for another week. Pride disappears when the only car you are left with has front bearing and transmission problems. (Friday's news - it gets worse before it gets better, right??) Pride disappears when your son is doing breathing treatments nightly because his asth...

I've learned that wishing doesn't change things. Wishing does not cure cancer. Wishing does not fix heart problems. Nor does it cure Autism. Wishing doesn't make your problems go away. But, I believe that wishing is still good for you. It is still needed. Wishing and dreaming are both products of HOPE. Hope is what we need to make it through the difficulties. Hope is what keeps us going step by step through it. Hope is why we keep looking up ~ looking for the horizon. Believing that God will pull us through... maybe not today or tomorrow.. but God will provide our needs. So, today, I am wishing...and dreaming...and hoping. Today my faith will carry me through another day.

Right now, I am learning to accept God's plan. Although right now, His plan isn't looking all that great. I know His plans are for the long term. Mine are for the right now. God did give us a place to live. We went to look at a duplex Saturday morning. And as God would do it, Kent grew up with his kids and has know this person his whole life basically. So, we even got the key so we could move this weekend. I am SO exhausted physically and mentally. The idea of having no place for my kids to come home to is scary. Then, learning to accept what your given is difficult sometimes. So, now we are mostly moved in. We have a few things to finish up. It is smaller than the nicer place we found and almost moved in to. It also has paneling in the living room. And, it has a tiny ~ almost no existent ~ kitchen. But, I believe this is where God wants us right now... for some reason. (what's the chance of knowing some one and getting the key the same day?? that's a God thing!) Yes, a...

I know that God doesn't send troubles or cause the stuff in our lives. But, I do know that everything that happens to us passes over God's desk figuratively. It gets stamped "ok" sorta speaking. I guess that is why it is so hard to accept sometimes. Because as much as I pray for help and want out of the situation ~ I am still here. As much as I try to get out of it, I keep falling down. God helps those that help themselves right? So, I look around trying to figure out what, if anything, am I supposed to learn from this?? I gotta be at this point in my life for some reason. Maybe it is because I wasn't at rock bottom before. I always saw a glimpse of the light before. I could see the end. Who knew that it wasn't the end that I was seeing because another mountain was ahead! Who knew these struggles would last on and off for years now? Well, God did but I had no clue. While other families are planning vacations and starting to buy for Christmas, we are wondering ...

What I am going through today: it's not about just me. It is SO much bigger than me. I am just a small piece in the puzzle of life. I'm not even a corner piece holding things together. Just a little piece off to side. But ~ to God ~ I am important. To God ~ My JOYS multiply. To God ~ My TEARS matter. To God ~ My PURPOSE is known. You see, my life is bigger than me. Like a child, I look to my Father in Heaven for help and guidance. What I am realizing is, how other's eyes are watching me. My children's eyes watch how I deal with stress, anger, and disappointment. Not only them, but other's as well. Family. Friends. What do they see? Do they see my faith daily in my actions and words? Do they see me praising God through the storms? Or always wishing things were different? The trials of this life are bigger than you and I. We are just a small piece in God's puzzle of life. God picture would be incomplete without us. He loves us and we are important. But, we are jus...

We are starting a new series in Sunday School about relationships. Reading through this weeks verses (Ruth) really made me think about what are we looking for in relationships. I believe that it boils down to acceptance and trust. That is what I am looking for as I am searching. They don't have to love me or even like me really. Just accept me ~ warts and all. I don't pretend to be something that I am not. This is it. And, if we are to move past that stage of our relationship, we must have trust. We must trust one another to truly be there for one another. In those moments, in the middle of the mess of life, to have those you trust around you. Isn't that what we are looking for? And, once there is acceptance and trust ~ love for one another follows. I was trying to find a different verse that talks about this. Most of the time John 13:34 is mentioned: " A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. " Which is a gr...

"Life is a broken road. For some the road becomes too much to bear. The constant jarring and unexpected turns drain their souls. They give up somewhere along the way. The give up on love, they give up on their futures, they give up on God. But know this: It's God's road for your life. You don't walk alone. The Christ walks with you." Palmer Chinchen, PhD That is so true. We have all known people who gave up some where along the way. Even those who you visited with at church on Sunday ~ then, went missing for the next few weeks. Those who come every once in a while as they drift farther and farther away. Until it is easier not to come at all. Maybe their journey got too hard. Maybe they became more like the world...loved more of the world...than those things of God. For everyone has a different story and face a different circumstances. It is not for me to know. Yet, there is one thing that is true. You don't walk alone. It does not matter where you are right no...

"This world is not my home I'm just a passin' through My treasures are laid up Somewhere beyond the blue..." Do you remember this hymn? I haven't sung it in a long time, but it's been stuck in my head lately. Maybe it is because this world is feeling more and more not home. Of course, you tend to feel more like this as trials hit closer to home. It's easier to just keep going when there isn't any bumps in the road. Lately, there have been bumps. Major bumps. I just keep thinking this will be the end of it. Surely that light at the end of the tunnel is just ahead. The fog will be melted away by the suns rays. Any of those imagery you want to insert here. :) Then, something else happens. You see ~ I am one of those boring people by nature. I have always wanted a home to have family and friends come over often. (Not the nowadays often, but the come over and play some domino's or cards on Fridays kinda' often. Were our kids are raised together.) Al...

"For you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:7-8 Isn't that beautiful? I do love Psalms. In the shadow of His wings. What does that tell you? It tells me that He will protect us. Like a stranger in a strange land, we can curl up in a ball ~ we can hide behind Him. This world is not meant for us. Once you start feeling more and more at home here ~ that is when you are getting farther and farther from God. This world brings does bring joy and friendship. It also brings hardship and sadness. Times when I just don't understand why at all. (I know..I know...I'm not supposed to know why, we already discussed that! LOL) But, the human side of me still asks that question. Why do children have to suffer with disease? Why do wonderful women have trouble conceiving? Or mothers have to go through the pain of a miscarriage? Why does cancer have to effect so many people? Why does ...

Kinda blunt and to the point, huh? Some one posted this on Facebook and I actually kinda like it. Well, maybe "like" is not the right word. I understand it. One of those things where I've been there ~ done that. There are several people through the years that I've cared about. I've given them pieces of me. . . of my heart. And, afterwards, found out that they never really wanted it to begin with. Haven't we all done that? My brother is a good example. Sad, isn't it? That the first one that pops in my head after reading that, would be a relative. If he wanted to be a part of my life, my children's lives, he has had opportunities. But, I can't give up that hope that something will change his mind and his heart. I still send him invites for the holidays and cook outs. I've baked a basket full of cookies and bread every year for Christmas for several years now. Looking honestly though, it has been two years since I've seen him... and we live in...

"In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God." 1 Corinthians 4:4-5 Take your time and read that again. Really... I'll wait right here. It is so easy to look around this world and see so much wrong. Let's bring it closer to us...how about looking at your family, friends, and co-workers. We can see their faults and their sins. (at least the outside ones) However, these verses are not about them. It is about me and you. It's about looking at that person staring back at you from the mirror. It's easy to look at the person and think, "oh, I'm a nice person" or "I try" or what ever words you might think. Just remem...

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. " Proverbs 17:17 Let's face it ~ friendship is hard. Real friendship is hard anyway. We all have "friends" that are there to help make the day a little brighter. Friends that are we can have lunch with or go to a movie with. Conversations filled with small talk about the family or things going on in your life. The little stuff. . . What about the big stuff? Who can you cry to when feel your world shifting? When marriages fail and you just need a tub of chocolate ice cream and a shoulder to cry? Or when you are up all night with a sick child and your other children need clean clothes? What about when you are watching a parent suffer from cancer? Those big things that are thrown at us in this life. Those moments when we are not our pleasant selves with a smile for everything. Those moment when we are angry and hurt and vulnerable. Those moments we don't want anyone to see. Who do you call? Who ...

“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,” Romans 5:3-4 Everyday I go to BibleGateway.com for the verse of the day. Today, this is the verse. God has a way of getting what you need to you. Today, this is what I needed. You see, my life hasn't been very smooth lately. (if you can't tell from my posts lately..lol) Life has been, well, for lack of a better word . . . hard. My roots, my hope, my faith is knowing that God has a purpose. That He is in control. God has a way of stripping everything away. And if you have never been there, I am sure one day you will. My husband's job has gone from full time with lots of overtime to full time. Now, it's 4 days a week sometimes. The economy isn't getting any better. A year ago, we moved from our home to a 4 bedroom apartment. Which if you have lived in a house for any amount of time, you know how much stuff you can ac...

"But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." Colossians 8-10 We each are in our own transformation. Our own metamorphosis. Our situations leave us changed. As people come in and out of our lives, we are changed. I am not the same person I was ten years ago. Or even five years ago. Nor am I the same person I was a couple months ago. I have changed, just as you have. Each day there are opportunities that may never come again. Each day is a new beginning filled with promise. . . and hope. Each day gives us a chance to grow a little more. Strengthen our faith a little more. Show love and kindness to others. Lean on God a little more. To become more like our Creator. That is our journey. That is a tough act to follow....

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." ~ Isaiah 55:8-9 I was looking through my online photos and ran across this picture from the Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial. Each chair represents a person who died there. There were 19 children among the 168 that died that day in 1995. The children's chairs are the smaller ones across the grass. It is a very moving memorial honouring those who perished. When I look at the loss and the pain that is here, right now, in this world ~ it is easy to wonder. . . W H Y ? ? As I flip on the news or look in the newspaper, that question pops in my head. Just yesterday, there were 3 people in the obituaries that were in their 40's. Parents still alive. Small children yet to raise. Yet, there earthly lives are no more. I have a friend that has lost two of her children. Cancer is everywhere. Layof...

God knows when we are tired. He knows when we need a little hope. I've been feeling a bit worn out. . . physically and emotionally... in need of a little hope. God can supply this through others. This Saturday was filled with soccer as usual lately. Afterwards, we went to get some pizza for lunch with my niece and her parents. We ran into some friends my husband and brother-in-law grew up with. They left and the waitress told us that our tab was taken care of. They bought our lunch. I know they didn't think much about it, but it reminded me of God's love. God's care. Hope, that even in the midst of the anniversary of 9/11, good is still out there. I know, I know ~ it's lunch. But, it wasn't something they had to do. It wasn't something expected of them. It's going a little extra for others. When is the last time that you went out of your way for some one else? Not for their birthday... just for no reason at all. God might be trying to use you to bless an...

Today, I find myself . . . tired. Tired of the job... Tired of the bills... Tired of the kids fighting... Tired of the dealing with the schools... Tired of walking on glass... Tired of the hatred and bigotry in this world... Tired of the death and sickness in this world... Just exhausted physically and mentally Where else could I go? There is but One that knows my heart inside and out. There is only One that knows not only my actions, but my thoughts as well. There is only One that can renew my strength when I am weak. I find my greatest strength is not in me. There is nothing miraculous that I can do on my own. I am one flawed human! :) My greatest strength is found in who lives in me. God chose to live in the hearts of His believers. Only God can heal my weariness. Only God can renew my strength. Only God . . . "Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish." ~ Psalm 25:16-17

God answered Solomon, 'Because this was in your heart, and you have not asked possessions, wealth, honor, or the life of those who hate you, and have not even asked long life, but have asked wisdom and knowledge for yourself that you may govern my people over whom I have made you king, wisdom and knowledge are granted to you. I will also give you riches, possessions, and honor, such as none of the kings had who were before you, and none after you shall have the like.' 2 Chronicles 1:10-12 What an awesome example of a heart dedicated to the love of Christ. For Solomon doesn't ask for things of this world: not wealth or fame; nor honor or health. He asked God for wisdom and knowledge. It makes me stop and think about what I'm asking for. KLRC was talking about prayer one morning on the way to work. (It's Christian radio)Some one even brought up praying for something as small as a good parking spot. The DJ said that it would be hard for her pray about something as triv...

Do you remember what you were doing that Setember 11th day? Do you remember where you were? I was working in a coffee shop in Rogers at that time blissfully unaware of the events. My boss always had the radio on some classical stuff that had no commercials. My husband came in with my two boys in tow and told us. My boss turned the music off and put on a normal radio station. I couldn't believe it. Then, when I got home, I immediately turned on the television. I just watched the towers fall down over and over again. Should I mention that I was pregnant with Faith? I cried so much. Songs on the radio. Watching the news. Just thinking about it could bring me to my knees. No, I didn't know anyone there. I have no family in New York. But I felt bonded ... connected ... just as so many other people across the country. I wanted to protect my children, born and unborn, from everything. My husband was worried that I was making myself sick and would change the channel and try to watch s...

"Can papyrus grow where there is no marsh? Can reeds flourish where there is no water? While yet in flower and not cut down, they wither before any other plant. Such are the paths of all who forget God; the hope of the godless shall perish." Job 8:11-13 This verse goes on to tell us, "what they trust is in fragile and what they rely on is a spiders web." Think about that for a moment. To rely on a spiders web. Spider webs are strong enough to hold the spider and catch it's prey. It is strong enough for the day to day routine. Yet, when strong wind...or a strong storm comes, it's gone. Nothing is left. The same is true with reeds without water. They cannot grow and flourish. They wither and die without the life support of water. That is also true about us without Christ. A strong wind in our lives and we are left with nothing. Without Christ we cannot become the person we are supposed to be. Can you imagine waking up everyday thinking that th...

Confrontation is really hard for me. I shy away from it as much as possible actually. Yes, I know if you know how my week has gone ~ you wouldn't think so. The fact is most of the time through my younger years and especially my teen years, I let people walk all over me because confrontation scared me. I had several co-dependent relationships because of this. It is SO much easier just to let it go than to put yourself out there. What if it ruins a relationship? What if they think badly of you? What if they talk about you? What if...? It is easier for me to help behind the scenes. To be that person people say, "thanks" to as they walk into the spotlight themselves. But, I can't always be the person that I want to be. Sometimes, I have to be the person that God wants me to be. It isn't always easy. And sometimes honestly, I wish could hide my head or put cotton in my ears to pretend it isn't my job to do something. That some one else will do the job God ...

Luke was so proud to be sitting on my hospital bed holding Faith for the first time. Who knew looking at that adorable three year old face what struggles would come? I know that I didn't... but God did. And when in the mists of this mess... God provides a message to keep going ~ keep trying ~ don't give up through our message at church on Sunday . "Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. " Psalm 69:1-3 No, that is not the message of hope that we went over! LOL Yet, I understand this passage. I am sure that each of you have been there as well at some point in your lives. What do you do when the water is about to take you down? You look up! That is where my hope is. Sitting on my knees at the altar asking for God's help and direction through this ~ having two wonderful Christian women praying with me ~ that is God's hand. I kn...

There are times when things happen that you can just roll off. No biggy. Plus, it's a lot easier to let things just roll off when they happen to you. But, when people mess with my kids ~ that is a different thing all together. Friday I was SO mad. If fact, the word 'mad' doesn't describe it. I was so angry that I knew I couldn't rationally call the school. All those words that don't come out of me ~ well, they were going through my head. I just wanted to sit these people down and YELL and SCREAM!! So, I didn't call at all. After several hours of trying to calm down and telling God how mad I was ~ I finally could calm down enough to compose a rational e-mail. You might be wondering what in the world happened on Friday. (If your not wondering, you might just want to stop reading now!) Friday, we picked Luke up from middle school. I'm asking the usual questions about how his day was and what he had for lunch. The normal stuff. He then tells me that ...

We all have our struggles. Some are daily from our job or our families. Some struggles might happen spiritually or even financially. All of those struggles cause us stress and frustration. Then ~ there are those big struggles. Those moments that happen that leave us changed. The difficulty could be anything. It might be bankruptcy. It could be a divorce. Or an autism diagnosis. Or a death. Or even cancer. Those are hard pills to swallow. Yet, all of us have been there ourselves or with a loved one. And ~ unless God calls us home ~ we will be going through it again. And when we get that phone call ~ it is easy to ask the question, "why?" Why today Lord? Why does it happen to me or my family? Why can't everything be back to normal? Why? Why? Why? " Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name." Then a voice came from heaven: "I...