Meaning of Easter

It is the Easter season once again.  Hard to believe it is only a couple days away.   Usually I am decorating with spring colors by now.  Thinking of Easter clothes or spring pictures.  Filling colorful eggs with chocolate and gummies.  This year my heart is heavy with the burdens of the world.

So many people are struggling with cancer.  Mothers and Fathers will soon be saying their good-byes to their children and grandchildren.  It is so difficult to lose a parent, no matter how old we are.  Kent and I keep thinking about our Grandma as well.  She is in her 90's and fading faster it seems.  Last year, our aunt heard her talking to Jesus in her room.  She told Him that Easter would be a good time because, after all, You died for us.  (gave us the hint who she's talking too!)  Now, with Easter among us, we keep going back to that conversation.  We keep wondering if it will happen soon.  I saw her on my birthday and the thought hit me that this could be the last time I see her alive.  I made sure that I gave her a hug and told her I love her.  There is also a precious baby girl that will soon be back in the hands of Jesus.  A kiss on her small delicate  newborn head just to let her know she is loved by many breaks my heart.   God has a way of talking to you through music and I had my Mark Shultz CD in.  This song came on after I saw her:

 "Then something died inside of me to sit with him and hear
The tests that said our baby may not live to be a year
Then turnin' to my wife and he said "whatcha you wanna do?"
And she said...

I wanna give her the world
I wanna hold her hand
I wanna be her mom for as long as I can
And I wanna live every moment until that day comes
I wanna show her what it means to be loved"

What it means to be loved by M. Shultz

My heart just aches.  The ugly tears and stuffy nose has once again hit.  I am so thankful and blessed that we serve a risen savior.  It is because Jesus arose on the third day, that I know I'll see these loved ones one again.  It is because He LIVES that I have hope.  This year, the joys of Easter traditions have seemed to escape me.  It has left me with the true meaning of Easter.

"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone!

Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives!"

Because He lives by Bill & Gloria Gaither

Hope for the Weary

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my 

righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:20

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them,

for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave

you or forsake you."   Deuteronomy 31:6

"You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that 

have passed away.  And your life will be brighter than the noonday;

its darkness will be like the morning.  And you will feel secure, 

because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in 

security."  Job 11:16-18

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for

welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you 

will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You 

will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.  I will

be found by you..."   Jeremiah 29:11-14

There is a season of trials taking place in lives of several church  families.   A time to lean on God to sustain us day by day.  Cancer will soon be taking a father/grandfather home.  Another woman going through radiation because of something found in her breast.  We have another woman in our church still in the hospital after an accident.  We have some wonderful parents still unsure of the outcome of their baby.  Another couple that would make wonderful parents but having troubles conceiving.  There is also a family that will be leaving us to move for husband's work.  There is so much pain right now as we try to understand God's will for our lives.  And to accept His will as what is best.

I lift these lives and families up to you, Lord.  May you have Your hand in 

each life.  Lord, I know that your are the Great Physician and that only

You can heal our weary bodies.  I just ask that Your will be done and that 

you give us the peace to accept it.  Please, Lord, let these families feel

Your love and comfort as only You can give.  I know that many reading this

 are going  through their own trials.   Many are going through them alone.

 I pray that they will feel Your presence in their life and the hope that only 

You can provide.  Amen.

Lord is near the brokenhearted

Where are you emotionally right now?  Are things finally coming together and your feeling confident?  Are you in that middle ground of just waiting?  Or are things just becoming overwhelming and you don't know what do to do?  Do tears fall easily even when you put on the happy face for others?

Our prayer list grows at church.  So many people in pain.  So much cancer and disease taking our loved ones home.  Accidents that happen which change lives.  This world is full of pain.  I am thankful for the words of comfort that our Lord gives us. 

"I sought the Lord, and He answered me
  and delivered me from all my fears."  Psalm 34:4

Fear.   One of those four letter words that can keep you up at night.  When a situation hits you in the face, fear can grab your heart.  Fear for yourself.  Fear for others.  Fear of the unknown.   But, when you hit knees and cry out to God ~ He takes away the fear.  For it is ALL in His hands.  There is no better place to leave your worries than at God's feet.
  
 
"The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous
and His ears toward their cry."  Psalm 34:15

God hears our cry.  Even when words cannot be spoken from the tears in our eyes.  God hears the cries of our hearts.  Not only does He hear our pain, He cares.  Understand this:  God loves YOU.  Not later when you lose 30 pounds. Not if you color your hair or wear certain clothes.  God loves your soul.  Right now.

"When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
    and delivers them out of all their troubles.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
    and saves the crushed in spirit.

 Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
    but the Lord delivers him out of them all."

 ^{Psalm 34:17-19}

^{Thank you, Lord, for hearing me and comforting my soul.  Thank you for all of those times which you delivered me.  Lord, I lift up my friends right now.  The ones hurting deep inside.  I know that you are the great comforter.  I pray that You will make your presence known and fill them with a peace that only You can provide.   I pray that you will use me in anyway you can. Amen.}

Psalm 90

"Before the mountains were brought

forth, or ever you had formed the world,

from everlasting to everlasting

you are God." v2

"The years of our life are seventy,

or even by reason of strenght eighty;

yet their span is toil and trouble;

they are soon gone, and we fly away." v10

"So teach us to number our days

that we may get a heart of wisdom" v12

I think that says it all tonight. His words are all that's needed.

God, Our Healer

"And he came down with them
and stood on a level place, with
a great crowd of his disciples
 and a great multitude of people
from all Judea and Jerusalem
and the seacoast of Tyre
 and Sidon, who came to hear
 him and to be healed of their
diseases. And those who were
 troubled with unclean spirits
were cured.  And all the crowd  
sought to touch him, for power
 came out from him and healed
them all." ~ Luke 6:17-19 ESV

God, our great physician.  Our healer in times of trouble.
  I still believe that God heals.

It is hard to watch some one suffer.  I watched my Dad suffer from cancer.  And, go from moments of hope and joy...  To moments of despair.  To the point where the hard reality sets in.  And all those emotions in between.  The pain he had to suffer daily.  There comes a point when we realize that it is not in God's plan to heal his sick body.  But, to take him away from the pain.  God's healing does not always include healing these physical bodies.  We just have to be ready to accept God's plan knowing that it's for the best.

I am there once again.  Asking for God's healing.  For years, I have asked for God to heal Kent's broken body.  Through the years, we have gotten temporary fixes...more medication...more stints.  I've watched his health get worse.  I've seen my husband that was always outside doing something get more and more tired.  It's hard on him... and me...and the kids.  Tomorrow, Kent goes in for another heart cath in the afternoon.  My prayer is for healing.

My prayer to our Great Physician:

Lord, I ask for his healing.  Your will, not my own.  Whether his broken body can be fixed or not ~ I just want him healed.  I want him to feel better.  To feel like himself.  To be able to run again.   Lord, You are my husband's healer.  You are our strength.  With You, anything is possible.  Please be with the doctors tomorrow.  Be with my husband tomorrow.  Lord, fill him with a peace and comfort that only You can provide.  I thank You for all that You will do.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

Wishing . . .

I've learned that wishing doesn't change things. Wishing does not cure cancer. Wishing does not fix heart problems. Nor does it cure Autism. Wishing doesn't make your problems go away. But, I believe that wishing is still good for you. It is still needed. Wishing and dreaming are both products of HOPE.

Hope is what we need to make it through the difficulties. Hope is what keeps us going step by step through it. Hope is why we keep looking up ~ looking for the horizon. Believing that God will pull us through... maybe not today or tomorrow.. but God will provide our needs.

So, today, I am wishing...and dreaming...and hoping. Today my faith will carry me through another day.

Rejoice in Sufferings

“More than that, we rejoice in
our sufferings, knowing that
suffering produces endurance,
and endurance produces character,
and character produces hope,”
Romans 5:3-4

Everyday I go to BibleGateway.com for the verse of the day. Today, this is the verse. God has a way of getting what you need to you. Today, this is what I needed. You see, my life hasn't been very smooth lately. (if you can't tell from my posts lately..lol) Life has been, well, for lack of a better word . . . hard. My roots, my hope, my faith is knowing that God has a purpose. That He is in control.

God has a way of stripping everything away. And if you have never been there, I am sure one day you will. My husband's job has gone from full time with lots of overtime to full time. Now, it's 4 days a week sometimes. The economy isn't getting any better. A year ago, we moved from our home to a 4 bedroom apartment. Which if you have lived in a house for any amount of time, you know how much stuff you can accumulate?!? Geez! We lived there over 10 years, so it was a lot of stuff. Through it, I felt that God was just trying to get rid of all of the stuff taking up room in our lives. We got rid of stuff and moved. Now, it is looking as if we might need to move again. I want to yell and scream and cry. . . not that this is so wonderful. But, I'm not big on change especially not for moving up.

My husband's job may not even last through Christmas. If it does, it will surprise everyone that is still left. What a thought. Right now, I'm working through the school system. My kids go to the schools that I prefer and I am able to pick up my kids everyday because I get off at 1. Their schools are very important for me. Luke got lost in a school that was majorly ESL. So, I've learned my lesson. My daughter's in gifted and talented and would be bored in some of the schools in the district. My best friend moved to Oklahoma recently. A major reason was because her son was not getting the help that he needed. She was told they passed him because he was white!! Geez!! As much as they might say every school is the same, I know that it is not. Another plus, I am off when they are. I love that part, but the pay stinks because I didn't finish my degree. (only 2 years of college..lesson learned) However, if I go back to work full time somewhere (that's saying I can find a job in this economy), I have to think about who picks up the kids after school. Plus, the two weeks for Christmas, spring break, and couple months during the summer. Most people I know, have grandparents that take the kids. We don't have that help. Both of our parents are older and not able to handle the kids on a daily basis. That means childcare for three kids. One of the three having autism. I just don't see that helping. I worked 8-5 for a year & a half not that long ago, it just left all of us frustrated and exhausted.

Right now, I'm just praying for something to open up for my husband. It is so hard to see some one with a good work ethic and is there everyday, become in this situation. Salaries that are enough for a family are hard to come by right now. Did you know that the cost of living has jumped high but the medium income has stayed the same since the late 80's?? Just sad... For now, our lease is up and we have to start collecting boxes. We cannot sign another lease which will put us even farther behind. I know in my heart, that God has a plan for us. . . again. I just wish I knew what it was. Of course, if I knew what it was ~ it would not be Faith. I always wonder why in life we have to struggle so much with money (the rich and the poor), yet money won't mean anything in Heaven. We won't even need it because God will provide all. Sounds wonderful to me!

Our Metamorphosis

"But now you must also rid yourselves
of all such things as these: anger,
rage, malice, slander, and filthy
language from your lips. Do not lie
to each other, since you have taken
off your old self with its practices
and have put on the new self, which
is being renewed in knowledge in the
image of its Creator." Colossians 8-10

We each are in our own transformation. Our own metamorphosis. Our situations leave us changed. As people come in and out of our lives, we are changed. I am not the same person I was ten years ago. Or even five years ago. Nor am I the same person I was a couple months ago. I have changed, just as you have.

Each day there are opportunities that may never come again. Each day is a new beginning filled with promise. . . and hope. Each day gives us a chance to grow a little more. Strengthen our faith a little more. Show love and kindness to others. Lean on God a little more. To become more like our Creator. That is our journey.

That is a tough act to follow. Sometimes I'm too tired to stand guard and be alert. Sometimes my own selfish wants start to take over. Sometimes...well, I am just not far enough in my walk...not strong enough in my journey...to do what I should. This is where God's grace covers my sins. This is when God's strength helps me push through.

So, please remember those times when I don't make that bar or that standard that you believe I should make ~ I'm not perfect. When words of anger or slander come out of my mouth ~ I'm just a sinner. I'm on a journey, growing and changing everyday. I'm not the same person I was. One day, I will change from a caterpillar crawling on this earth and fly free as a butterfly into heaven.

"Why??"

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your
ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are
higher than the earth, so are my ways and my thoughts
than your thoughts." ~ Isaiah 55:8-9

I was looking through my online photos and ran across this picture from the Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial. Each chair represents a person who died there. There were 19 children among the 168 that died that day in 1995. The children's chairs are the smaller ones across the grass. It is a very moving memorial honouring those who perished. When I look at the loss and the pain that is here, right now, in this world ~ it is easy to wonder. . .

W H Y ? ?

As I flip on the news or look in the newspaper, that question pops in my head. Just yesterday, there were 3 people in the obituaries that were in their 40's. Parents still alive. Small children yet to raise. Yet, there earthly lives are no more. I have a friend that has lost two of her children. Cancer is everywhere. Layoffs are still happening. So much pain and suffering. So many hardships. There are times in my own situation where that three letter words pops in my head. My childhood and all that happened to me. A miscarriage at 5 months along. My Dad passed away of cancer. My brother lives right here but I haven't seen him in 2 years. Medical bills that keep coming. My son that has to deal with autism, asthma, food allergies, and now a heart condition. Why? Why? Why??

I have learned (and still learning) that the question "why" usually doesn't get answered by God. It doesn't need to be. God is love. Period. He doesn't allow things to happen because He's asleep and it slipped past Him. He knows exactly what's going on in your life and mine. It doesn't mean that I still don't ask it. (as I am sure that you do!) It doesn't mean that my path is clear, with daisies growing, the sound of a river in the background, and a cloudless sun in the sky. As trials come into my life, that question still pops in my head. But, I know that God sees the big picture. He looks at not just today, but thirty years from now. He looks not only at my life, but the life of my children's children. Through it all, I must remember that God loves us. So, I think that is God's answer. When we come to Him as small children at His feet, look upon the face of Jesus, and ask, "Why?" I imagine His answer is, "because I love you."

Pass the Blessings

God knows when we are tired. He knows when we need a little hope. I've been feeling a bit worn out. . . physically and emotionally... in need of a little hope. God can supply this through others. This Saturday was filled with soccer as usual lately. Afterwards, we went to get some pizza for lunch with my niece and her parents. We ran into some friends my husband and brother-in-law grew up with. They left and the waitress told us that our tab was taken care of. They bought our lunch.

I know they didn't think much about it, but it reminded me of God's love. God's care. Hope, that even in the midst of the anniversary of 9/11, good is still out there. I know, I know ~ it's lunch. But, it wasn't something they had to do. It wasn't something expected of them. It's going a little extra for others. When is the last time that you went out of your way for some one else? Not for their birthday... just for no reason at all.

God might be trying to use you to bless another person. Are you the person getting in the way of God's blessings to some one else?? So, I'm on the lookout... I'm going to be passing the blessing along. No, it probably won't be buying lunch. Maybe I could make dinner for someone that might need it. Maybe I could run some errands for another. I don't know yet. I just know that I'm open. I just know that I here, Lord, for You to use.

"God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love
you have shown him as you have helped his people and
continue to help them." ~ Hebrews 6:10

Growing Roots

"Can papyrus grow where there
is no marsh? Can reeds flourish
where there is no water? While
yet in flower and not cut down,
they wither before any other plant.
Such are the paths of all who
forget God; the hope of the
godless shall perish." Job 8:11-13

This verse goes on to tell us, "what they trust is in fragile and what they rely on is a spiders web." Think about that for a moment. To rely on a spiders web. Spider webs are strong enough to hold the spider and catch it's prey. It is strong enough for the day to day routine. Yet, when strong wind...or a strong storm comes, it's gone. Nothing is left. The same is true with reeds without water. They cannot grow and flourish. They wither and die without the life support of water.

That is also true about us without Christ. A strong wind in our lives and we are left with nothing. Without Christ we cannot become the person we are supposed to be. Can you imagine waking up everyday thinking that this is it? That this life is all we got? What hopelessness that would be! So many people walk around with this hopelessness sitting on their shoulders everyday. No wonder suicide was the 11th cause of death in the United States in 1999. I am sure that the number has grown in the last 12 years because this world is not getting any better. The unemployment rate is over 9% in the United States. Cancer is running rapid and filling up prayer lists everywhere. I cannot imagine going through this with out the hope of Christ daily.

How do we become stronger? How do we grow roots in Christ that will wither the storms this life will throw at us? One of the most important places a Christian can be is on their knees. Prayers going out to the only one that can help us. Constant communication with our Maker. One of the best times I talk with God is in the car after I drop the kids off at school and I am driving to work. There is no wrong or right time. There is no wrong or right way. Anytime and anyplace you are ~ God is there waiting to hear from you. As we learn to trust Him ~ to believe in Him ~ our faith grows.

We still must make our roots deep, not just plenty. However, that process is not always a pleasant one. Did you know that tree roots grow deeper as the go through drought? The roots dig a little deeper in search of water. If water is plentiful, their roots are shallow and the tree can easily fall over. The same is true for us. When life is a wonderful ride, it is easy to take our blessings for granted. To put God on the back burner. (Even though He deserves SO much better from us!!) As we go through periods of trials, our roots and faith shall become stronger and deeper. We remember God has been there the whole time. Our roots grab onto the rock of Christ. And our faith will hold us, even when the web of this world falls away.

Moving On Up...

Luke was so proud to be sitting on my hospital bed holding Faith for the first time. Who knew looking at that adorable three year old face what struggles would come? I know that I didn't... but God did. And when in the mists of this mess... God provides a message to keep going ~ keep trying ~ don't give up through our message at church on Sunday.

"Save me, O God! For the waters have
come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire,
where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood
sweeps over me. " Psalm 69:1-3

No, that is not the message of hope that we went over! LOL Yet, I understand this passage. I am sure that each of you have been there as well at some point in your lives. What do you do when the water is about to take you down? You look up! That is where my hope is. Sitting on my knees at the altar asking for God's help and direction through this ~ having two wonderful Christian women praying with me ~ that is God's hand. I know that He will see me through.

Another amazing lady told me recently that all of us are called and a few are chosen. And, you are chosen for this path. So, hand in hand with God, I walk along this path. I did send out those e-mails to the vice-principal and resource teacher. Luke's resource teacher messaged me back and said she didn't know about Friday. I didn't get a response today for the vice-principal, so I took myself up there. Mr.D is a wonderful guy and made the transition so much easier for Luke and I because he genuinely cares for the kids. BUT ~ he left me with the idea that he totally understood my position but there wasn't much he could do. He is going to speak to the teachers on how they speak to the kids. (don't tell them they got a lower score, when they already know the reward is for the kids who did good on the test. Seriously? That's the fix?) So, now to the next rung on the ladder. I have written an e-mail to the principal. I have also written the letter to the superintendent for K-7. I'll re-read them in the morning to double check them. (I catch a lot of errors that way!)

I realize that some might be thinking, "Really? Seriously? It's an ice cream cone!" But, it is more than that. It honestly boils down to discrimination towards the below average kids. It just tells the children that their effort and their hard work doesn't matter. (When I've been telling Luke since kindergarten how much it does matter!!) Luke was only 14 points from being average!! That's amazing accomplishment from the previous year! Yet, he knows that he is still not good enough to even get the reward. When you seperate the kids, the rest of the class/pod knows why they are not there. It's embarassing. Plus, they go into another room to do more work while their peers are outside visiting and eating. It is just plain wrong. There are many children that will never make that mark. They will never be 'average'. We need to celebrate their hard work and effort ... not the grade itself.

Thank you for all of your kind words. I appreciate your prayers. God gave me Luke for many reasons. I wouldn't be half the mom...woman...or Christian I am without him in my life.

Others Are Watching

We all have our struggles. Some are daily from our job or our families. Some struggles might happen spiritually or even financially. All of those struggles cause us stress and frustration. Then ~ there are those big struggles. Those moments that happen that leave us changed.

The difficulty could be anything. It might be bankruptcy. It could be a divorce. Or an autism diagnosis. Or a death. Or even cancer. Those are hard pills to swallow. Yet, all of us have been there ourselves or with a loved one. And ~ unless God calls us home ~ we will be going through it again.

And when we get that phone call ~ it is easy to ask the question, "why?" Why today Lord? Why does it happen to me or my family? Why can't everything be back to normal? Why? Why? Why?

"Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? 'Father, save me
from this hour'? But for this purpose I have come to this hour.
Father, glorify your name." Then a voice came from heaven: "I
have glorified it, and I will glorify it again." John 12:27-28

Did you read that? It is for His glory. Sometimes we go through difficulties because we need it. We have something to learn. We need to be sharpened. But, I believe, sometimes we go through things for others benefit. God knows that we can handle it because His plan is better than ours. As we go through ~ our faith and our trust standing firm and rooted ~ others can see God's glory through us. Even through our pain, we are God's light to this dark world. Others may learn to know God just from watching us. Most of the time, we'll never know who we influence. So, we must carry on as if everyone is watching.

Have you ever been inspired by some one else going through difficulties with grace? Recently, a friend's mother was diagnosed with cancer. It was in more than one spot and chemo was to start immediately. She went through six rounds of chemo. Yes, six! And although, I know there were days when she was so sick she didn't want to get out of bed ~ her faith and her humor helped her through. (as well as God's grace!) The beauty of her soul spread to those around her. It also spread several hundred miles away to me. She is cancer free today because the Lord still has plans for her life. (God can still heal!) Her acceptance and grace for God's plan is something that I'll always remember. Her faith was rooted in something deeper than found on this earth. She inspires me to be that light in whatever God puts before me. Through the difficulties, God's light can still shine.

Be Watchful

"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking some one to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world." ~ 1 Peter 5:8-9

The Bible warns us to be watchful more than once.

"Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love." 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Does that make you feel like prey? We are. There are so many distractions. So many difficulties in this life. It is very easy to take our eyes from our goal. To live like Christ ~ For Christ. There are so many opportunities for satan to attack us. He has many things to use against us. Things that are in our human nature. Pride. Anger. Discouragement. Things that can be twisted and turned from things of God ~ to things for our own wants.

How many times do we get angry at our family? How many times has pride hurt a relationship? How many times do difficulties turn into discouragement? I believe that anger can be justified. It's in the Bible. God's even been angry. But, (a looking in the mirror moment) most of my anger is not to further help God's mission. It's because something happened at home or work. Pride, well, it's just in human nature. It is hard to be the one to say their sorry. It's hard to be the first one to let go of the hurt/anger and open your hands and heart. Discouragement is a biggy. This world is full of pain. It is so easy to get discouraged. I believe it happens to everyone. When we are down, that the easiest for satan to make it feel so much worse.

So, we must be watchful. For ourselves. For our families. For each other. Be the encourager. Work on controlling the anger and swallowing our pride. Pray for one another. I know that it's a tall list. Lucky for us, we have Christ helping us. And, with Him, anything is possible.

Security

In this world today, there is very little security. Each day holds new challenges. Every moment is insecure. Mat Kearney's song, Closer to Love, speaks of it beautifully. "We're all one phone call from our knees." How true is that?!?

Just turning on the news, it is clear how little security we have. Tornado's whipped through Joplin, Missouri on Sunday night. In a moment, their lives were changed. Over 100 lives have been lost. Homes being destroyed. Businesses gone. How do you even pick yourself up from that? There's no going to Wal-Mart to pick a few things up because Wal-Mart is gone. There isn't a job to go to in the morning. A bed to tuck your kids in a night. How fragile life is!

My security is not in my job or where we live, but in Christ. He is the One security that we all can have. I am SO thankful for that security, because this world has so much pain, uncertainty, and challenges. I pray for the people affected by this tragedy. I pray they can rest their fears and hurts in the security of Christ.

"You will forget your misery,

You will remember it as waters that have passed away.

And your life will be brighter than the noonday,

it's darkness will be like the morning.

And you will feel secure, because there is hope;

You will look around and take your rest in security."

Job 11:16-18

April Showers...

We have had a wee bit of rain lately. . .

There is a normal size fence in there...

I really wish I would have gotten pictures during out flood. It was amazing how much rain we got in such a little bit of time. The places and roads just flooded with water. I did get out today with my camera and got a few. The usually dry creeks were water rapids. The little pond by our library was filled to the brim.

The water reminded me of life. How it can throw things at us we don't expect. How life happens right now ~ not some time in the future. We don't know when the floods in our life are going to happen. Those moments when you can throw you hands up and just cry, "why?" Or those times when no words will come out. The floods...

It's how we handle the floods that matter. Do we stay rigid and break and become uprooted? Will our circumstances determine us? Or are will learn to bend? There is a difference between getting knocked over and bending. Bending does not mean letting go of our beliefs or what we stand for. Bending means acceptance. Knowing deep inside that God's plan is better than our own. Allowing God, in His wisdom and love, to have His way in our life.

Notice the flowers and plants this spring...They bend as well. They are reaching towards the sun. That's where I want to be... Reaching for the Son.

"A bend in the road is not the end of the road, unless you
fail to make that turn." ~ author unknown

His Grace is Sufficient

"Three times I pleaded with my Lord to take it away from me. But He said

to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in

weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness,

so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ sake, I

delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecution, in difficulties.

For when I am weak, I am strong." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

What a wonderful scripture to hold your life up to! I'm not sure that 'delight' is the word that I think of when I go through hardships and difficulties. However, I do understand the meaning. When I am weak ~ then it gives opportunity for God to be strong. It gives me the chance to show by example the love of Christ inside of me. The Faith inside. The Peace inside. Throughout the chaos this world will bring, Christ pours out His grace. One of my favorite verses is Philippians 4:13:

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Isn't that so true? I would not have made it this far without the strength of Christ or without the hope that He brings. Are there trials that are in your life right now? Sometimes they are small and insignificant. There are times when they are life changing. I pray that what ever circumstance you find yourself in right now, that you have the Grace and Hope that only Christ can provide.

Encourage One Another

Proverbs 26:20-22

"Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip the quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts."

While reading Proverbs, I came across this verse. Don't you love the description? I can visualize the fire or even the words 'choice morsels.' It goes on in verse 24 to say, "Enemies disguise themselves with their lips, but in their hearts they harbor deceit. " Each of us gets a different image in our head about this that is some how a product of our childhood or how we're raised. Honestly, when I think of this, it takes me back to 6th grade. That's when the separation began for me. I remember being in the bathroom stall when some of the popular girls came in and started talking about me. I stayed in there until they left. Then, I cried and had to wipe it up and go back to the classroom. Of course, jr. high was even more of this. People who you thought we're your forever friends couldn't even be faithful for a year. Yet, growing into an adult it happened. There were several 'friends' I had had to cut ties with in my 20's. I learned they wanted me to be there for them, but it was never going to be the other way around. They were waiting for me to fall, not to help me back up ~ but, talk or laugh. Hard lesson.

Now, in my 30's, this verse still applies. There's still have that feeling that there is some one ready to criticize. I'm not always the be best mother I should be. Or the best wife. Or the best friend. I'm not the best at a lot of things especially not at the same time!! Yeah, sometimes it's just my little voice inside my head. Sometimes it's not, but I'm learning that's okay. I'm still here on this Earth, so that means that I'm still learning. I've not always been as strong in my faith or my beliefs. I've made mistakes. I'm pretty sure that I'll make some mistakes even tomorrow. If we're honest, I think that we all will. This journey is all about learning and growing. It's up to us if we're going to stop trying. And if we're willing to forgive when we do fail. (ourselves and each other) Life's not perfect. It's messy! We need the encouragement from one another. (Don't we judge ourselves hard enough??) I've been described as a negative deceitful person before. It' hurts because I don't think of myself this way. I try very hard not to talk about others negatively. Yet, comments (yes, gossip) that I said years ago can mark some one's perception of me even today. We must be careful with our words. Hard lesson.

I know that I'm not perfect, just still trying. . . changing. . . evolving. This little blog is about my journey. The bad: The childhood abuse. Parent's divorce. Rape. Miscarriage. Autism. And the good, yes good, that can come from it. The hope. The faith. The love. I wouldn't wish my life on anyone, but I wouldn't trade it either. I am a thankful person. I am a blessed person. I'm becoming a person to be proud of. A better follower of God. A better wife, mother, aunt, & friend. Yes, I still have things to work on, but I am a work in progress! God isn't through with me yet! :) This quote is not from the Bible, but it's a very hard quote to live up to. It's amazing!

"I resolve to speak ill of no man whatever, not even in a matter of truth;

but rather, by some means excuse the faults I hear charged upon others,

and upon proper occasions speak all the good I know of everybody."

~ Benjamin Franklin

Psalm 25

Last week when I was reading the bible....looking for something but I didn't know what. I had a few things wrote down from Psalm 24 from church a few Sunday's ago. So, I started there. When I got to Psalm 25, I stopped and re-read it a few times. This! This is what I was looking for! You might be thinking...that was a week ago, haven't you moved on since then? Yes, but I keep going back to it. It's amazing!

David's plea...his yearning...that should be our plea. Our yearning. "Guide me in your truth and teach me" for "my hope is in you" (v5). My hope is not here in this world. I'm very thankful for that. This world if falling apart. My hope is knowing there is God that loves me. Mistakes and all. He wants me to do better...be better...yet, understands when I fall and extends His grace. Even David can look at his life and see mistakes.

(v7) "Do not remember the sins of my youth and rebellious ways;

according to your love remember me, for you Lord, are good."

In verses 16-18, David speaks about the anguish carrying around these mistakes can be. He cries out to God to "be gracious", "relieve the troubles of my heart," and to "take away all my sins." As I grow in my relationship with the Lord, it does just that..it grows. My trust and my faith has strengthened through the storms He has allowed in my life. It becomes different. It's not enough to just to go through life not stealing and murdering. Honestly, I don't have a problem with that! ;~) I don't believe that was David's problem either. It's the little sins that can sneak in our day and our life. The anger towards another, rightful or not. The little white lies we think doesn't matter. The judements we can make based on color, language, wealth, or anything else. To those in the world, these little things don't really matter. After all we are not breaking any of man's laws. Man does not care if we're angry and lie. But, I think when we are saved, that we are held to a higher standard. We are striving to be like Christ. Remember the story in John chapter 4 about Jesus and the woman at the well? She was first of all a woman and an outcast. Many believe she was a prostitue. Yet, Jesus not only speaks to her but offers her the living water..He overs her hope. How many people have we walked by without speaking to? How many have we judged? What a wonderful reminder that I needed.

(v20-21) "Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be

put to shame, for I take refuge in you.

May integrity and uprightness protect me,

because my hope, Lord, is in you."

There is Hope

"You will stand firm and without fear.

You will surely forget your trouble,

recalling it only as waters gone by.

Life will be brighter than noonday

and darkness will become like morning.

You will be secure because there is hope,

You will look about you & take your rest in safety."

Job 11:15-18

There are times when your calm and open. What you need to hear ~ it finds you. God gets it to you and you actually receive it. There's no distractions. This is what I needed tonight. Isn't it just beautiful? To have our troubles a distant memory as waters gone by. Life brighter than noonday. Wow! When have I felt that good in this life?? To look around you and feel safe... To feel that security... To feel that hope.

I do feel hope today, in this life. In the mists of the chaos that is our life ~ there is hope. Just knowing that God is in control. God has it covered. The mistakes. The misunderstandings. The hurt. The pain. God walks with us through it all. Isn't that amazing? He doesn't just meet us at the finish line. He is here with us. Not only is He here, but He loves us through it all. He knows our sufferings as well as our joys. That is how I can stand firm. I know there is hope in the Father.