Look back and ahead to 2013

I was looking through a few of my old posts.  I usually write one the first day or two of the New Year about the upcoming year.  I try to pick a word for the New Year. Sometimes looking back, I get it right.  Other times, not so much.

In 2009, our focus was forgiveness.  My father had been diagnosed with cancer and that year he was getting worse.  He passed away in November of that year.  Before he passed, we were able to talk everyday about the past and present.  We were able to have that time to work through things that were never talked about.  (big elephant in the room growing up which no one talks about kinda thing)  I treasure that time I was given with my Dad before he passed.

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away

from you, along with all malice.   Be kind to one another, tenderhearted,

forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."  Ephesians 4:31-32

2010 was a year of struggles.  My husband's health had gotten worse.  Heart disease, diabetes, asthma, and high blood pressure.  That was a stress on all of us.  We also down sized from a house to an apartment.  That was so hard to go through everything when you've lived there 10 years knowing you couldn't take it with you.  Yet, with God's help, I realized that it is just stuff.  Things that God wanted to strip me of to so that I could refocus.  (Looking back gives perspective)

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.  Every branch in me that does

not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that

it may bear more fruit."  John 15:1-2

In 2011, our word was faith.  I was hoping that our struggles would have been over from the previous year, but I was not through being pruned.  Doctor bills came in from the previous year and surgery.  We had to move yet again.  There was a weekend when the electric was going off in one place and the place we were moving into (and already had utilities turned on) wouldn't let us move because they later asked how many kids we had.  (was not on the application at all)  So, we had one day basically to find and secure a new place to live and get the utilities moved once again.  It was a hard year emotionally for me.  Without faith in God and friends, I wouldn't have made it.

"And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed,

 you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the

 sea,’ and it would obey you."  Luke 17:6

Renewal was our word for 2012.  Through the ups and downs, God constantly renews us.  We lift our eyes to our Creator knowing that His plan is what is best.  We know that His timing is right.  So many times, we don't understand.  We want things now.  Yet, this year, I have been able to look back and see how our lives are intertwined and He has what is best for all of us in mind.  God renews.  He renews my strength in the middle of the storm.  He renews my heart in the peace of today.  I know that another struggle is probably headed my way, but my faith has grown so much.  My favorite verse comes to mind.

"He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases

strength.  Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall

fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their

strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run

and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."  Isaiah 40:29-31

So, what of 2013?  It really is hard to say.  My little girl will be moving to middle school.  My oldest will be moving to high school.  (neither one really feels right!!)  I would like our new focus to be compassion.  My family and I have been through many things through the years.  Our life experiences plus our faith in God give us a strength to reach out to others.  Volunteering has always been a love of ours.  I want to be the one to reach out and love on others.  To show that some one cares.  I only have a few more years to pass on this trait to my children.  I want to show by example the difference compassion can make to another.  Jesus came and humbled himself as a servant.  I am definitely no better than He.

^"As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets

who spoke in the name of the Lord.  Behold, we consider those blessed

who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job,

and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is

compassionate and merciful."  James 5:10-11

False Friends

I remember growing up there were girls that were mean and ugly.  There always are.  Yet, it is one thing when it happens to me.  And, a totally different thing when it happens to my baby girl.  I know, she is in 5th grade but it doesn't matter how old she gets ~ she will be my baby girl.  :) 

The drama now?  I guess some girls where talking at recess about Christmas.  They where talking about their iPods and stuff.  Faith mentioned that she didn't have one.  Her "friend" looked at her and told her, "Just ask Santa.  I ALWAYS get EVERYTHING on my Christmas list."  Faith with her logical mind knows there isn't a Santa but just kept her mouth shut.  Then, I guess this "friend" was also telling people that Faith said she likes having rich friends so gets stuff.  What a friend right?  Faith actually kind of confronted her (so proud!) and told her she never said that.  Her friend retracted a bit and said she heard it from somewhere.  Then, to top off my daughter's week ~ the same "friend" gave her two mini-erasers for Christmas and told her that she expected a gift too.

I talked with Faith about friends last night.  Real Friends don't brag, don't tell lies about you, and don't expect gifts.  There are alot of girls that are nice to you in front of your face, but they are not real friends.  I spoke with her about false friends.  Encouraged her to be nice to her false friend so it doesn't add to the drama.  This is the second time this "friend" has spread rumors about my girl.  Does NOT make a momma' happy! Faith wanted to give her a present so she wouldn't be mad.  I gave in and agreed mainly thinking it would calm the drama down.

Finding real friends are hard no matter what age you are.  I love how the encyclopedia of philosophy puts friendship:  "a personal relationship grounded in concern of the welfare of each other."  It doesn't talk about your backgrounds being the same.  Or you religions must match.  Or your incomes being the same.  All the stuff doesn't matter.  Friendship is about looking at each other without judgement and accepting what you see.  It's about caring and concern.  Friendship is love.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing"

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.
For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.  But woe to him who is alone when
he falls and has not another to lift him up!

The Glory of Christmas

Today, when you take look around there are lights.  Lovely, elaborate lights that twinkle with the tune of Christmas songs.  There is of course shiny garland or that fancy tulle that is all the rage right now.  Shiny ornaments shine in the lights.  Beautiful wrapped presents longing to be opened.

Long ago, the only light was a star guiding the way.  There was not any shiny, sparkling garland.  Not even room in a hotel.  Just a manger where the animals where kept.  Yet, even with the simplest of things:  Glory was found!  A babe was born.   And even wrapped in rags, His glory could not be contained.  Angels spread the news.  Wise men traveled long distances.

 

It is amazing to me how the world today can get it so wrong.  It changes from the celebration of Christ's birth to "Season Greetings."   It has changed from a day of remembrance and thankfulness, to a month of spending lots and lots of money.  Did you know the average people are spending for this Christmas is $854??  I don't know about you, but that's a lot to shovel out in a month.  No wonder so many credit cards are max-ed out.  I believe we should learn what the Grinch has learned.  "Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store.  Maybe Christmas means a little bit more."

 

Where is the God in your Christmas plans?  God came to us as a babe.  As a servant humbling Himself.  As a Savior to die for us.  Because He loved us and wanted more for us.  The best gift we can be given happened a long time ago.  Once we accept His gift, God's love and glory shines through us.  We are God's pride and joy.  We are God's glory.  Let US SHINE with His love!  At Christmas and throughout the year.



Cleaning Time: Laundry Soap

It really is hard to believe that December is here.  This week, our weather has been in the 70's.  Which, for northern Arkansas ~ it is very weird.  We've been working on our kitchen for months now and it is finally coming together.  (I'll post pictures soon)  I actually ran a dishwasher tonight for the first time since August!! It felt wonderful.  :)  I know, I know.  But, a family of 5 without a dishwasher and only a mud room sink to wash dishes in....VERY thankful for the dishwasher!

I've recently got on Pinterest.  Yes, I know, I am late bloomer, right? I have found it is true what my friends have said.  It is very easy to get hooked on.  When ever you log on, there are always new recipes, crafts, or home ideas.  Pin this or like that.  So cool.  It's like every kind of magazine right there without any ads in the middle! ;D

Of all the things I've found on there, pinned, and actually tried ~ the laundry soap is great.  Just a few ingredients that I found at Harps (local grocery store) and ta-da!  Over 2 gallons of laundry soap!

1 bar of soap (any kind you want)
1 cup of Borax
1 cup of washing soda
a big bucket ( that holds more than 2 gallons)

I grate...okay, well, my daughter grates the bar of soap.  They recommend Ivory but I've been using a Dial for the scent.  Go ahead and place 2 gallons of water in your large bucket.  With a half a gallon of water, I heat the grated soap until it melts.  Then, I add the borax and washing soda.  Cook it for a little longer until the borax and washing soda has dissolved.  Turn off and add the soap mixture to your bucket with the 2 gallons of water.  That's it!  It does thicken overnight.  The original recipe called for just the 2 gallons of water, but I figured out I added about a half of gallon so why not add it in the beginning? :)  I use a half of cup per load of laundry.   Seeing my home made laundry soap makes me happy because (1) it is SOO much cheaper and (2) I know exactly what is going in my laundry soap.  And if you need a (3), it only takes about 15 or 20 minutes to make.

My Jars of Soap bring a smile to my face :)

Days 28 thru 30: Thankfulness

Wow!  This month is almost over!  It has been a very easy task of being thankful for just one thing each day.  Imagine how this could change our attitudes if we did this each month!  How could we be sad or angry, when we realize how much we have to be thankful for?  I look around and there are numerous people and things that I have not named. 

A warm house to come home to.
          A pot of soup waiting in the crock pot.
                    Christmas lights shinning in the evening.
                               Homemade blankets to cuddle on the couch with.
                                          Warm fuzzy socks are some of my favorite things!
                                                     Beautiful sunsets that remind me that God is near.
                                                               Yes, my list could go on and on.

Day 28:  Today I am thankful for beautiful Christmas decorations that bring back memories each year.  I truly love my Christmas tree.  Not because it's the fanciest.  Not because everything matches.  Not because it has lots of bling.  But, because it has lots of love.  The ornaments are from when my kids were little.  There are also pictures of my nieces and nephew.  Each year we add another family picture.  I look through my tree and see my babies growing through the years.  I see our family expand and grow.  I see my many blessings!

(One of the many pictures from our tree.  It's from Christmas 2008.)



Day 29:  I am thankful for the teachers in my children's lives.  Each of my kids need different things.  Joey needs to be pushed and some one to believe he can do it.  Luke needs understanding and patience while being pushed to see how far he can go.  Faith needs to be challenged so that her interest stays put and she does not get bored.  It's amazing that with a class of 28+ children with different needs, that any of them can be met.  But, my children have had some wonderful teachers through the years that hugged when they were needed and pushed my kids when they got too comfortable.  I am also thankful for those teachers who stuck by me when it came to Luke.  Some cried tears with me while holding my hand through the processes and changes a special needs child brings.  What a blessing the right teacher can make! So thankful!

Luke's 3rd Grade Class, a wonderful teacher and a true friend!

Day 30:  I am SO thankful my kitchen is about done!!  It has been a long process.  Just the demolition part seemed to take forever!  Long staples, wood glue, and 3 or 4 inch nails held up the old cabinets.  Oh, my goodness, I didn't even mention the floors.  The plaid 70's carpet, layer of glue, layer of laminate, then (of course) a layer of paper from underneath the laminate.  Such a blessing to walk into my kitchen on my new terra-cotta tile and be able to turn my stove on!  Or to bake bread in my oven.  I love the openness of the kitchen arrangement as well as the bar area which is my baking area.  LOVE!  :) I know there is another project just lurking in the background (master bath) but I want to stop (and rest) to enjoy the beauty and blessings. Well, plus, get the kitchen totally done! :D

Thank You Lord for loving me.  Thank You Lord for the many blessings You've given me.  I know that every good and perfect gift has came from You. 

Days 24 thru 27: Thankfulness

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Day 24:  I am thankful for little get aways that break up the work we've been doing on the house!  We got to escape to Branson on Friday and Saturday.  Yes, that's Black Friday.  Yes, I did a little shopping. :)  But, even for a little shopping, I still had to cruise the parking lots just for some one to leave and pull out so I could get a spot!  Shopping is NOT my favorite thing.  So many times I questioned myself on why we are here again! But, we got a room at the Grand Country Inn.  Which to those of you not around here ~ they have indoor water slides for the kids.  Kids loved it.  They played all Friday afternoon while my mom and I ran around the stores.  It was great to just get away for a couple days.

Day 25:  Today I am thankful this beautiful weather we're having.  This fall I was unable to get out and enjoy it as usual.  We've been so busy with the kitchen that the fall leaves came and went without one hike.  :(  But, it's the end of November and we are still in the mid 50's.  Fall weather is lasting a little longer this year.  It is my favorite time of year! So, even with the leaves on the ground, I am loving it!

Day 26:  I am thankful for our Pastor and his family.  Their love for not only the things of Christ, but the purpose of church is a blessing.  They don't want to do the same old, just because it's comfortable.  They want to help us to grow in our walk with Christ.  And, they love our kids.  (just as we love theirs!) My children are able to know them as people with a sense of humor with ups and downs.  They have been such a blessing to not only my life, but many.

Day 27:  I am thankful for the word of God.  It's amazing that a document that is so old, still has a bearing on the world today.  It is after all, the LIVING word.  God still speaks through His word.  He provides comfort and hope through His word.  God also convicts through His word.  I do love to read Christian books and bible studies, but nothing is the same as reading His word.  To read the examples of other men and women who have chosen to follow Christ.  As well as, those who have chosen to deny Christ.  The Bible is still relevant today.

Days 19 thru 23: Thankfulness

Day 19:  My day just wouldn't be the same without Christian radio like KLRC.  I am thankful that there are stations and artists that put me in the right frame of mind.   They remind me as I am driving or at home that God's with me where ever I am.  Their message has to the power to speak to me even when my mind might be going 100 miles an hour on something else.  It blesses me to hear my daughter singing in the back of the car.  Or my son ask me to turn it up.  So thankful.

Day 20:  I am thankful for my brother-in-law, Brent.  In February, it will be 16 years I've been married.  Through the years, Brent has become truly like a brother to me.  Being a family is not held together by blood relation.  Family are people held together by memories, times spent together, and love.  My Dad would always speak of Uncle Howard as his brother.  (Although Howard was his brother-in-law.)  I am lucky enough to have that as well.  He is there to give me a hard time and pick on me as a brother should.  Yet, I know he is there when I need it.  (like the hours he has put into our house the past couple months!!) I am very thankful that God has given me a brother like Brent in my life.

Day 21:  Where would I be without friends??  Seriously, where would any of us be?  The laughter through the years.  Inside jokes.  Songs on the radio.  Movies.  The tears.  The moments when everything is stripped away and there's nothing left but beat-up heart and red-rimmed eyes.  (usually a running nose as well)  And there is a shoulder to lean upon in the mists.  No, friends don't have magic that can make everything better.  But, they have an open heart and open arms.  I wouldn't have made it this far without my friends through the years.  When I was younger, friends brought me to church.  Through the years, they have shown me the love of Christ.  What a blessing!

Day 22:  I am thankful for our church family.  We go to a church of around 200.  There are several large, even "mega" churches.  We attended one close by for around a year (several years ago).  But, it never felt like home.  Does that make sense?  When you go, no one really knows you.  There's so many people in the congregation, the pastors never make a personal relationship with you.  You are just one of many.  When there's a death in the family or illness, who really knows or cares?  It just felt very impersonal.  I know a lot of people go to the mega churches (or they wouldn't be so large..ha ha!)  But, I am just saying that they are not for me.  If I am in Texas, yes, I'd love to sit through Joel Osteen preach to 10,000.  But, for most Sundays, I'd like to shake your hand and welcome you.  And, notice if your gone or cook a dish for your family member's funeral.

Day 23: I am also thankful for my in-laws.  When I got married, I married into a large family.  Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins live nearby.   A bit overwhelming at first. :)  But, since I came from such a small family, I loved it!  It is such a blessing that my children know not only their aunt and uncles but their great-aunts and uncles!  I love getting together with everyone a couple times a year.   My father and mother-in-law also helped us get into our home which I'm so thankful!   My in-law family are a blessing that I don't take for granted.

Days 12 thru 18: Thankfulness

I've been blessed with so much.  Of course, I had to mention the biggies like my kids, hubby, and home.  But there are those 'other' things that just make life a bit easier!  So, for this grouping, I am shifting gears! :)

Day 12: What a blessing a dishwasher is!  Ok, now since we've moved in our new home in August, we have not had a working dishwasher.   How I miss the days of one kid-o would empty the dishwasher, then the other kid-o would fill the dishwasher.  And so the cycle went.  Now, there is a working dishwasher in a box just waiting for a working sink in our kitchen!  It will be so soon, I just know it! :)

Day 13:  With a family of 5, having two cars is a big deal.  We have dealt with one car for a while and it was hard.  My husband and I were both tired.  He would get up to take me to work by 7:30.  Then, I would take him to work in the afternoon and pick him up at 11 p.m.  Get up the next morning and do it all over again.  By the time we went to sleep it was midnight and well ~ my body tells me it needs more sleep than that!! ;)  So, thankful to have two working cars right now.

Day 14:  I am thankful for children's picture books.  Those beautiful books filled with pictures and short sentences that get children's attention.  Those wonderful books that teach children the joy of a library!  The simple books with catchy rhymes that taught my children to read.  I love the children's section of a book store or library...just to see the magic of reading and love of books at such an early age.  It's a wonderful thing! After all, "Sometimes I like to curl up in a ball so no one can see because I'm so small..." but that's okay because we must "Step with care and great tact and remember that life's a great balancing act..."

Day 15:  Another convenience I wouldn't want to give up?  My washer and dryer!!  Oh, yes, just a few years ago our washer and dryer died on us.  The washer wouldn't ring things out so our clothes would still be very wet.  Of course at the same time, our dryer wouldn't dry no matter how many hours the thing would run.  The laundry mat ~ not much fun.  Especially with three kids.  Yes, we filled up about 4 washers.  Then about 4 or 5 dryers.  Also, walked down to a pizza place and brought pizza back for supper while we waited.   Not much fun at all.  My washer and dryer may not be the newest but I am thankful it's still hanging on!

Day 16:  I am very thankful for.....ssSHHhhhh!!....hair color!  I know, I know, it's not one of those things we like to talk about.  But, I seriously started to get gray when I was in my 20's!  I am now in my 30's and still not ready to be gray.  There are some ladies out there with beautiful silver and gray hair out there.  Really very pretty!  I am just not ready to embrace that part of me yet.  So, until then, Miss Clairol and I will meet again monthly. ;)

Day 17:  Okay, I now it's not the best thing for you.  Really far from it.  But, one of my favorite things are cinnamon rolls.  More than chocolate cake.  More than apple pie.  Yep, for my birthday give me a cinnabon with a candle in it and I'm a happy camper.  :)  Soft and warm, filled with cinnamon, and topped with cream cheese frosting.  Delish!!

Day 18:  Hummm....I am thankful for warm, homemade blankets to cuddle up with on cold winter nights.   As I have gotten older, I've learned to appreciate the colder weather.  It's time for warm homemade soup.  Treats from the oven.  Colorful fuzzy socks. Warm hot chocolate.  And, last but not least, cuddling up with blanket and a good book.  I love my homemade blankets that I've gotten over the years.  It's a wonderful thing!

Days 7 thru 11: Thankfulness

Day 7: Today I am thankful for the democratic process.  Gods plan has put me in the United States during a time where women can vote.   It is something that I shouldn't take for granted.  Not that many years ago, women wore clothing that covered them from head to toe.  Not because they liked it, it was because they had no say.  Faces were hidden behind lace veils because their voices where never meant to be heard.  Once the right to vote came about in the 1920's, women's lives changed for the better.  I am blessed to live in a country where we elect our officials.  Whether or not everyone that I voted for becomes elected, I am still thankful for the process and God's hand in it.

Day 8:  The things we take for granted, like a place to call home.  We moved into our home in August of this year.  This place has changed so much in 4 months!  We'd been renting and moving for the past couple years.  It's been a struggle in so many ways, especially emotionally.  Now, God has blessed us with a home that is large enough to have family and friends over.  Yes, we moved into home that was stuck in the 1970's.  :)  But, we have been slowly taking out the old and making it ours.  Each time I pull into the driveway, I am thankful.  I don't take it for granted like I once did.

 Day 9:  I am still thankful for my parents and the love they have given me.  As an adult, I realized that they did the best they could.  I stopped looking at them from a little girl looking up at her parents.  I looked at them from one parent to another.  I realized they are not perfect, but then neither am I.  With God's help, I was able to forgive.  I was blessed to have two more years with my Dad after his cancer diagnosis.  The doctor's only gave him 6 months, but God have him two years!  Those were years filled with healing for us.  I miss him and look forward to seeing him healthy once again in Heaven.  And, He lets me know that he's still around once in a while even from the other side.  What a blessing!  My mom is my rock.  She is there to help or to just listen.  She knows my moods by the tone of my voice or the look in my eyes.  She always looks out for us.  I am a very blessed person and thankful for my parents.

My parent's at Chuck-E-Cheese during a birthday party

Day 10:  Awww....my doggie.  I always thought a Cocker Spaniel would be a great family pet and he is.  Teddy is wonderful.  He is always there ready to tell you how much he's missed you during the day.  He is great with the kids and other's that come into our home.  He is not a barker, unless there's a thunderstorm.  :)  Teddy's big enough to take on walks.  I've thought about getting another dog to keep him company, but I just think Teddy would always be my favorite so that wouldn't be fair.  I am thankful to puppy lovin' on a hard day!

 Our sweet little guy, Teddy

 

Day 11:  I am thankful for G.G.  My Grandpa passed away when six or seven.  My Grandma passed away when I was an early teenager.  Then, when I got married, I had a Grandma again!  She always loved and accepted me.  I knew how important she was from the start and make sure that my kids have a relationship with her.  She loves to play games and cook for her family.  Even when she was 80, she played Frisbee with the kids!  The time that we've spent with her through the years has been such a blessing for my family and myself.  Grandma is a very special lady and I love her dearly.

Sweet G.G. with Luke, Joey, and Faith

 

 

 



Days 2 thru 6: Thankfulness

Day 2:  I am thankful for FIELD TRIPS! :D  I love being able to take a day and spend individually with my kids.  On Friday, we drove to Little Rock and spent the day with Faith.  I have loved going to pumpkin patches, hiking, and to battlefields through the years with each of my kids.  That one-on-one time means a lot to me as well as them.

Faith on a field trip Friday to our State Capital.

Day 3:  What a busy day!  I am thankful that we got the tile down today.  One step closer to having a kitchen again.   I used the wet saw for the first time and I did ALL of the cuts in the entire kitchen.  Looks pretty good too! ;) Cannot wait until the cabinets!

Day 4:  I am thankful for my kids.  It is true that time goes by too fast.  I look at my children and wonder how I can have a 15, 13, and 10 year old.  I'm not old enough, am I? ;D  I am thankful that I can still kiss them good-night and that God has given me another day to be their Momma.  They have made me a better person by having them in my life.  Being a mother has increased my faith through the many trials that have come our way.  I have learned that before they were mine, they were God's.  And, He has their life, as well as mine, in the palm of His hand.  That's a beautiful thing!!

Day 5:  I am thankful for my husband.  Through the past 15 years, he has done his best to support his family.  He has got second jobs when bills over-rided our income.  He has been in there working on my kitchen daily even before his real job starts in the afternoon.  He'll spend time picking out a six dollar Hallmark card for Mother's day to let me know what's inside his heart, even though I've told him for the last 15 years that's too much for a card! :)

Day 6:  Before my own kids, I was an Auntie.  I love being an aunt!  It's close to grandparent status where I can spoil and send home! ;D  I have three nieces and one nephew which I love so much.  It means so much to me that even as they have out grown my lap they still try sometimes.  And, they are always there with hugs, kisses, and "love you's".  They make my heart happy!

 Summer, Phillip, and Cara Rolf

Abby Snow (with Faith)

Day 1: Month of Thankfulness

He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” 

Simon Peter answered and said, “You are
the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
  ~   Matthew 16:15-1

Would you know God if He were before you?

 

Would you act different if He were standing before you?

 

I think honestly we all would. 

So it is easy to forget that He is everywhere.  Not just in the church.  God is in the car with us.  Walking with us through our workday.  There is not a place that we could go that God would not walk with us.  In times of troubles, we rely on that message.  The knowledge that God will not leave us or forsake us.  The faith that will carry us through the storm.

But would we recognize the hands of God in our own life?  God is there working through others constantly.  We have to stop for a moment and recognize it.  Stop for a moment and be THANKFUL.  Many times, God is working through others to bless us.  Or maybe  God is trying to use us, to be a blessing to others.  No, God doesn't care if you have black coffee or a latte.  BUT, maybe He put you in that coffee shop at that certain time for a reason.  Maybe there is some one there that needed to see the love of Christ through us.

Day one in of a month of thankfulness would have to be my Savior that loves me warts and all.  He loved me even when I rejected him.  He has never given up on me.  He loved me through the rough patches and gave me strength when I had none.   God hears my heart when I cannot speak.  He loves my singing even when I'm off key.  :D He fills my life with hope and blessings.  I just pray for God to use my life for His purpose.

Our Fruit

"You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered

 from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?"  Matthew 7:16

 

"Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick

figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers."  Luke 6:44

 

 "Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct

is pure and right."  Proverbs 20:11

 

What does your actions and behaviors say about you??

It's funny how God works sometimes.  It's been one of those days where you really want to go back to bed and start over...only your scared it might end up worse.  One of those days where when by the end, you feel like you've been through a fight ~ and lost.  Yeah, we've all had those.  Where else to go when you feel beat up by the world?  A place of refugee for the lost and broken.  And what would the message be about tonight?  The fruits of the spirit.  Better yet ~  what they say about us.

It says in Matthew 7:20, "Thus you will recognize them by their fruits."  Our relationship with God is a personal one.  I cannot look into your heart and see that you are saved.  Yet, when we have that relationship, we are filled with the Fruits of the Spirit.  We are filled with love, joy, peace, kindness, gentleness, and self-control.  Yes, we are only human with lots of errors.  I have raised my voice to my children. But, I do apologize.  Every night I tuck them in, kiss them goodnight, and tell them how much I love them.  (yes, even the teenagers)

I hope that when others look at me they see love, kindness, acceptance.  I hope they can see the peace and faith that is deep inside of me because of the trails and tribulations that God has seen me through.  Those are the fruits that I would like others to see within me.  What would you like for others to see when they look at you?  Our actions and behaviors are the only way others can see the love of Christ.  WE are the billboard for Christ in a way.  We are the walking advertisement for Christ.  Our own behavior can turn some one towards Christ because they want some of that hope and joy we have.  Or it can turn others away because of our negative attitudes.  Even our own children will not learn to lean on God, unless they see you lean on God.  Our behavior truly effects others.  Lets make our fruit sweet and bring pleasure to our King.

Weekend Progress...

Woo-hoo!!  Teacher-in-service equals a three day weekend for us! :)  And, I have made some progress around here.  Long way from done...but progress!

 

Some friends of ours gave us a few 5 gallons of paint.  I bought one gallon of the color we chose (in a darker shade) and mixed it with two gallons of the light tan.  Ta-Da!  Three gallons of terra cotta for the cost of one!  Good bye white walls!  Hello warm desert colors! :)  I will do some more tomorrow after church.  Maybe I can get our "L" shaped hallway done this weekend!

My first thing from Pinterest! Homemade Laundry Soap! Simple and easy with only 3 ingredients!  Oh yeah, less than six dollars and I have two gallons of laundry soap.  And, have enough stuff to make another batch or two!  YEAH!!  Smells great too!

My laundry room is painted a light turquoise  I found this wonderful saying to put on the wall.  I love it!  :)  I read it every time I go in to do laundry and it makes me smile.  We still have a long ways to go but we are getting there.  It is wonderful just to start.  I feel blessed every time I pull up in the driveway. 

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...

It's about learning to dance in the rain.

Isn't that the truth? ;)  I hope that your having a great weekend as well!



View of Politics

My goodness ~  it is that time again.... Politics

I usually keep my mouth closed when it comes to politics.  Everyone thinks that their opinion is the right one.  Some people are so closed minded that there's no use even talking.  If you turn on some news cast, the truth is so altered that it becomes watered down.  Then, those listening accept it as the truth and their opinions grow. 

Republicans ...  Democrats ....  first of all they are politicians.  Good.  Bad.  Ugly.  It's all there.  One label doesn't make one better than the other.  I don't judge a book by it's cover.  You have to read the book.  Way back when, those labels meant something.  Now, well, they are just a label to get elected under.  Do I believe in abortion?  No.  So, that means I am a republican, right?  Nope. Do I believe in the trickle down effect?  No.  The rich just got richer and the poor got poorer.  So, that means that I am a democrat?  Nope.

So, please don't judge me.  I when I vote, I look at the person ~ not the label.  Just because some is labeled a republican doesn't mean his/her morals are Godly and just.  For instance, a certain political candidate right now is labeled republican.  He is also a Mormon.  Which means, he believes only Mormons go to the celestial kingdom.   (the best level of heaven according to them) Also, that they "are co-eternal with God and have the potential to become Gods themselves."  I had to read that a few times.  Seriously, they believe they become God's themselves and have spirit children.  Okay, not anywhere near what I believe.  Will I cross him out because he believes a different way than I do?  No, but it also doesn't mean that I will vote for him because he has a nice label on.

I know that might get some backlash from this.  But it gets old.  I know some people that vote republican just because the label once upon a time meant they had Godly morals.  I know a lot of people that believe everything FOX news spits out.  I don't believe everything ANY one says if it's about politics.  My two cents during any political campaign is to use your knees and your head.

1)  Hit your knees and pray for guidance.  2)  Do research yourself and use the brain that God gave you.  Pretty good advice for politics and in life.

God's Harvest and Workers

Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers
are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out
laborers into  his harvest.”  Matthew 9:37-38

There's a picture that comes to my head when I read Matthew 9.  Jesus went through many busy cities and villages.  He witnessed to many.  People were gathering and learning about God.  Jesus also healed many sick and broken people.  Blind men were allowed to see.  A mute was allowed to speak.  A girl was brought back to life.  So many people in need.  The ESV version describes it as people helpless like "sheep without a shepherd".  I love that description.  In so many ways, times haven't changed.  People are still scared and confused just like they were hundreds and thousands of years ago.  People are God's harvest.  And the harvest is plentiful! 

But, we must do the work.  Our harvest is God's people....which is EVERYONE!  Plus ~  the laborers are few.  We must pray for workers.  Not only that ~  we must be a worker.  We cannot expect to just let some one else do it.  We must dust our bootie off and do it ourselves.  Isn't that what Jesus did?  He didn't just tell the disciples what to do.  He showed them.  He got dirty and did the work.  He spoke to people that I'd be scared of.  He healed those I might turn away.

Who are we to chose?  Each of us know some one that is not saved.  Some of us even have family members.  It's so hard because I just want to just fix it, but knowing that I can't.  I just want to slap my brother sometimes because he just doesn't see the big picture.  (yes, I know, probably shouldn't admit that but it's still true) He still holds on to anger and his chips on his shoulders until there's no room for us in his life or his heart.  There's no room for God.  Yet, the only thing that I can do is pray for him, let my light shine, and love him through it all.  I cannot change his heart, only God can.

I believe that's why volunteering has always meant so much to me.  When I get out there, out of my comfort zone, I am part of the laborers and I rely of God to get me through.  I can show God's love through my hugs or food or kindness.  I can plant seeds in people that are looking for something to fill their lives with.  I've missed it the past few months.  :(  I really do miss it when we don't volunteer.  Kids miss it as well.  Once this place gets a little more settled, we are going to jump back in it.  Everyday could be harvest day! :)

Lord, just use me.  Use my family.  Use my home.  Let us not just wait
on the side for some one else to pick up the Cross.  Shine your light through
our imperfect, human bodies so that YOU shine...not us.  For when I am
weak, You are strong.  Let me be one of many workers in the body of Christ
that reaches out and makes a difference.

Busy, Busy!

It's been a very busy few weeks. Busy can be good! :) Since we've received our keys, we have been right at work. We painted all four bedrooms: ceilings and walls! The kids picked out their colors before they left so we could get to work. We also tore out the carpet. Smells so fresh now. Looks it too!

Joey's Soothing Green Tea Paint

Faith's Pretty Turquoise

It was great to have friends stop in to share in the excitement with us. Our open door policy has begun! :) I really feel that this is not just our home.  It is meant to be shared. God has given us this home to be a blessing to my family and others. Who knows how many friends and family will gather in these doors? I can't wait to begin!

We've had friends and family come over to help us clean.  We've been given some gift cards so we can continue remodeling!  Some friends even brought over ceiling fans for our bedrooms. Isn't that amazing? Our friends are a testimony of how God works through others to bring blessings. Felt like home in the middle of our mess. And, yes, it's still a mess around here! We had our "Estate Sale" this weekend so things are getting cleaned out around here.  Of course, I'm tired and it's back to work time.

Luke's Fisherman's Net

My light lavender walls with sage green

Of course, with an older home, you do quickly find out some of the quirks. Like for one, those silly circle things on the wall you never paid attention to...well, those are the phone lines. Don't know about you, but my modem has a flippy square at the end...not a four-prong circle. :D Yeah, they finally came today to give us a wire from the box to our designated office area. (and yes, I've been working on getting that painted so some guy didn't think we live like that! LOL which Kent thought was a bit funny because our garage gives it away!!)

I look around and I can see that we have a long way to go.  We still have boxes to organize, pictures to put up, and carpet to pull out.  But, it is wonderful to begin. God wanted us to wait for this house. He put blocks on all of the others know this is the home meant for us. I can't wait to see what wonderful things He has planned for us and this home!

We have KEYS!

It's hard to believe that I just got my keys yesterday.  It seems SO unreal to actually walk in there and think that this is OURS!!  (well, ours and the bank..but I don't like to include them!)   I called Kent and walked around room to room (he was at work) just squealing.  Then, I got off the phone and felt overwhelmed by the amount of stuff left.  Seriously, every room was full still.  Things were still in dressers.  Towels still in cabinets.  Clothes (seriously vintage 70's clothes!) were hanging in closets.  Packed!!  Not a few.  Packed!

Then, I went back to my stack of papers from closing and saw a letter that she wrote to us.  She told how hard this move was for her.  It said how hard it's been living alone since her husband died and how people have tried to help her.  Then, she said how the Lord sent us to her.  How overwhelmed she was trying to deal with everything in her home.  And what a blessing we were to her.  Okay, seriously.  I am a bit emotional.  (did not ask for any opinions Kent! anyway...)  But, by the time I got through with that two page letter, I was crying so hard I couldn't talk. 

So, in the space of about 10 minutes, I called Kent bubbly and excited like a little kid Christmas morning..to the I'm crying so hard I cannot speak and give me a moment.  He was a bit worried as you can imagine.  What's wrong?  What did you find?  Is everything okay?  I finally got out that she wrote us a letter.  I am probably glad that I did not see his face because I probably would have covered all the emotions and got mad! :~P 

I was ready to begin now going through Ms. Myrtle's things.  She felt like a family member by now.  I was so wrapped up in the moment, that I didn't even think of taking "before" pictures.  But, I did get some today.  While looking please remember that there are over 60 (yes seriously stopped counting at that number!) trash bags outside waiting for pick up tomorrow.  There is also one room just designated for yard sale stuff.  But, we only have one room to go through tomorrow.  The rest are done!  We still have to move Ms. Myrtle's furniture out and around but they are now empty! :)

It's even more full now! :)

So different than when we began yesterday

Little touches like this which I love :)

One will be the living room and the other one will be a formal dining room with a reading/writing nook.  :)  I'll update more pictures as we go.  We are going to get paint for Faith's room tomorrow since her room is totally empty.  Can't wait to see how much we can get done before I pick them up on Saturday morning!!

Plans for a New Start

We are yet again find ourselves collecting boxes and packing up.  But, I've never been more happy to see that sight!  I don't even have to ask the kids to help pack.  As soon as we get boxes, they are ready to get them filled.  Monday we get to sign the papers and get the keys!  Of course, that is after I drop the kids off at camp on Sunday afternoon.  :)

The kids and I have been going through paint samples since we put an offer on the first house the end of February.  Yes, this home has many hopes and dreams already.  Faith's color is called Crystal Aqua.  Doesn't that sound beach-y?  Luke's color is called Fisherman's Net.  It's a perfect outdoors-y color for him.  Joey's is called Soothing Green Tea.  He wanted bright red walls ~ I told him to pick another color! I've done red walls before and not doing it again! My room color is called Lilac Whisper.  Doesn't that sound light and airy?  Luckily Kent really doesn't care what color is on the walls! :)  Yeah Me!  The living room/dinning room will be a nice neutral color.  But I want lots of desert colors added with curtains, furniture, and rugs.  I love the reds, blues, oranges, and yellows. I love the warm colors that invite you to stay awhile.

We have a long ways to go.  We have carpet to tear up.  Even some wonderful wool yellow and green plaid carpet in the kitchen that was glued down...that will be fun.  Kitchen needs an overhaul.  It still has a push button 27" drop in stove! The only way to get a standard 30" stove is to mess up the cabinets.  I can see my new kitchen in my mind even though I know that it's going to be a while before we start that!  My kitchen is going to have some color! :) I still have to go through Ms. Mytrle things as well.  I will enjoy seeing what she left for us to find.

So many hopes and dreams and plans!  I am very blessed and very thankful that the Lord has given us this home.  It's hard to me to realize how long it's going to take to make it the way we want it.  (or even close to the way we want it!)  I've been planning for so long and now I'm ready to begin.  I just have to remember that even baby steps are one step closer.  Our home will be a work in progress...just like us!

A Woman's Look in the Mirror

As I look through other blogs I read, the message seems to be just accepting yourself.  Which is one of the hardest things to do ~ especially as a woman!  Compare my life to others and it seems so ... dull, maybe? boring?  I'm just a curvy (another way to put that I need to lose a few! LOL) middle age  (...oh, my gosh did I really write that?? should I erase it?? no..no, just leave it) mother of three trying to be a loving mom, aunt, friend, daughter in a world filled with anger and hate. 

I look at other mothers who seem to have it all going for them.  It's easy to start to feel hard on myself.  But there are certain things as I've gotten older that I have come to accept.  Yes, there will always be other women prettier than I am.  I will never be a Reese Witherspoon or Julia Roberts.  God only made one of them ~ just as He only made one of me.  Yes, there will always be other women who seem to have it all together.  I've learned the key word is "seem".   They are just a frazzled over a kid puking in the back of the car, as you and I would be! 

Remember that God made each of us with a plan.  All of us are not supposed to be Reese or Julia.  I am just Jen buying the movie ticket hoping that for the next hour and a half I'll forget about the laundry and dishes waiting for me when I get home from the movie.  Most of the time, I'm just 'Mom" coming home to my kids after work, helping them with homework, and cooking supper. 

And, part of my self-esteem comes with being okay with that.  Even things that I am good at, there is probably some one out there that can do better.  I am a good cook and baker, but it's not like I'm on the way to having a cooking show! ;D  I am pretty good at art, but it doesn't mean that it should be in a museum!   If I strive to improve, then I will get better.  But, if I keep striving for perfection ~  I will never be happy.

God made you with every freckle and hair counted for.  When God sees you ~ He sees His child.  He loves ever wart you ever will have.  That is what God wants for us when we look in the mirror ~ to see love.  Not wishing for perfection.  But loving His creation right now...right where you are. 

Question of Sanity

At this moment in my life, I have two teenage boys.  Both will be going to junior high next month.  Both are about to drive me crazy.  I try to remember a sweeter day.  When they were younger...pulling each other's hair...fighting over hot wheels...watching Bob the Builder together.  Those days when they would be mad at each other for a moment and laying beside each other watching Robin Hood the next.  I loved my summers with them.  Doing arts and crafts.  Cooking in the kitchen.  Even doing classwork during the summer. 

Aren't they cute?  I couldn't find one of when they were really small on the computer, but they were even cuter.  :)  Then, they had to grow up.  Seriously.  Those that willing get up in the morning and go to a school that has teenagers ~ must be clinical.   I remember the junior high age as being kind of rough for a girl.  Now I know what the mother's go through.  I think it's worse!!  I want the terrible two's again!!! 

I know that teenagers are hard for everyone.  But honestly ~ when you have one with a disability ~ it multiplies it.  All they see is how their brother gets away with things that they can't.  The big picture, the empathy, all that disappears.  All of a sudden, it is back to the terrible two's saying, "it's not fair!"  You know what?  It's not fair!  It's not fair that Luke has to try twice or three times as hard at school than everyone else.  It's not fair that kids won't give him a chance and he doesn't have friends.  It's not fair that Luke can't express his emotions like everyone else.  There's a lot of things that is not fair.  I will step down from my soap box.  I am just tired tonight and hearing a perfectly capable person whine about things not fair again.  I know seeing the big picture is hard.  I just want him to get it...to see it.  A lot to ask when many times I can't see the picture either.  Being the mother of two teenagers is the hardest thing thus far.

For those mothers reading this and who had gone through this already....bless you!  For those with little ones or pre-teens...your time is coming!  For me right now....I am just going to pray for God to help me through this since killing is against His commandments! And, the scary part is that my daughter is just a few years behind my boys.  I can do this!  I can do this!

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch

out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand

delivers me. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love,

O Lord, endures forever" Psalm 138:7-8

All of us have a purpose to fulfill.  I know that moments likes these are part of mine.  God will walk us through them all with a loving hand.