My son came home this week and was talking about a mom of some one at school. For this post, I will call her "Jill" because, well, honestly, I don't know anyone named Jill. :D She is up at the school ALL of the time. Jill is up there DAILY. My boys are in junior high. They are way past the class parties stage! It occurred me to that she was using her children as a crutch.
God has a purpose for Jill's life just as He does for you and I. One of my purposes are to be the mother to three children. God does call me to love them unconditionally. (which as teenagers can at times be difficult!) I am to raise my children in a Christ centered home. I am also supposed to raise my children to be independent. It's a hard pill to swallow at times but totally true! My children have their own purpose to full-fill. God has more plans for their life than to just be my son or daughter. How can my children be brave enough to do God's work if they are scared to leave my side??
You might wonder why I use the word "crutch." My thought is Jill's baby graduates high school in 3 years. What is she going to do after that? I know this lady on a small talk basis and her life revolves around her kids. She is using her kids, she is filling her life with her kids so much that when they leave ~ her life will be empty. It is not her children's job to full fill her life. That is a lot to put on a child.
It makes me look at myself a little more closely. A lot of my time revolves around my kids, as it should. But, will I be empty when they leave? For me, the answer is no. My life is filled with joy and happiness from moments with them. But my full-fulfillment cannot come from my children. My source of love, my source of strength, rests in God alone. He is the fountain that will never run dry. I truly loved being a stay at home mom for the few years I was able. Those moments with my kids, I would never trade! I'd really love to be a stay at home mom again now that my kids are in school. Just so I could do a few things I'd like to do while they are gone during the day. :D Things placed on my heart but I can't do at this time in my life. I'd love to go once a week to the children's shelter to read for one thing. Maybe help with the Salvation Army lunches. Maybe even foster care. I know that God would find people who needed me and guide me to them!
I can't live with the "maybe one day" either. I need to live in the here and now. Although I cannot quit my job to read to other children, God will open up other opportunities. I must trust God's plan for not only my life, but my children's as well. My life is in His hands and that fills my heart.
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