Frustration

Frustrated.

That's where I find myself.  I am an opinionated person.  I'll admit that.  However, I usually talk about it with a few people and keep it to myself around others.  I am not good at confronting my source of frustration.  I bury it until I get to this point and I want to explode.  Yes, I do know it's not the healthiest way of dealing with things.  :D

Also know that it's not the attitude that I should have.  We are supposed to be like God.  God puts up with a lot from us... from me.  Yet, He loves me through it all.  He doesn't throw up His hands with me and walk away. 

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 

or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 

 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,  but  rejoices with the truth. 

 Love bears all things, believes  all things, hopes all things, 

endures all things."  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

That is a lot to live up to.  Love is long suffering.  Frustration is short-tempered.  But, I am human and sometimes this world makes it hard to be here.  Sometimes people make it hard.  Sometimes I get tired of biting my tongue and going with the flow.  What am I supposed to do?  Give it all to Him. 

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly

 in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy,

 and my burden is light.”  1 Matthew 11:28-29

 So, I am trying.  Right now, honestly, I am not there yet.  I don't want to bury it until it pops back up later.  I want to let go of it.  I'll get there.  Just not today....

 "casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

Gifts of the Season

It's been a while since I've posted.   I was in a bit of a funk for a while.  Felt like I was on the hamster wheel not going anywhere.  It was like I was getting further and further behind and there wasn't anything I could do about it.  For example, two $400 electric bills in August and September.  Our house is not some mansion over the hilltop.  It's a little over 2000 square feet.  And our thermostat was set at 76 in summer.  Electric company wouldn't even send some one out to look and check the meter.  Nothing, no help what's so ever.  Then, we finally get those paid off and we had another $500 unexpected thing pop up.  Plus, making trips for Joey's band trip every month.  Faith has a trip to Disney in January that I was supposed to chaperon.  Life can wear ya down, you know?  Where else could I go but to God?  He knows how stretched we are.  He knows our circumstances before I ask.  So, I gave God the worries on my heart and asked for help.   God gave us an unexpected check in the mail that got us caught up.  Joey's band payment got made yet again.  I did have to step-down from going to Disney with Faith.  Just makes me so sad that I couldn't be there.  All of the other kids have at least 1 parent going, but I couldn't put that financial strain on my own family for a trip for myself.

Our first snow in our house.  So pretty!

Now, it's Christmas time.  As they get older and I get wiser, it is less and less about the presents under the tree.  When they were smaller, I'd start during the summer if I found a sale.  Then, it moved to starting in the fall and being done by December 1st.  This year, the first gifts I even bought was a couple movies at 7 am on black Friday.  Seriously.  My husband couldn't believe it.  Black Friday and I came home with a couple movies, fabric, and a toy for my youngest niece.  That's it.  I did some shopping online these past days snowed in.  Now, I am basically done.  Not because I've gone crazy on some awesome sales, but because a couple things they really want under the tree is enough.  There isn't any fluff under there.  There is not clothes that I picked out under there.  Or things they will think is cool for 10 minutes then forget about.  They each have a a couple things under the tree and a couple things for their stocking.  It is enough.

 Annual walk through the lights

 I am looking forward to spending time with my family.  Reading the real Christmas story and Twas the Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve like we always do.  Waking up and singing, "Happy Birthday to Jesus!"  over the birthday cake we bake every year.  Then, having family over for a hot meal after presents have been opened.  Playing a few games and just making some memories with one another.  Once you quit worrying about the gifts that do not matter, the real gift of the season can be yours.  The gift of love.   Love from your Savior.  Love with your family.  What a blessing!

Fall Pictures!

My babies are so big.  Okay...well, guess I should #1 stop calling them babies.  (even though they can still act like it at times!)  But, every time I do family pictures, I realize it even more!

Joey is 16 now, Luke is 14 1/2, and Faith is 11 1/2.  It seems unreal to me in so many ways.  How did all those years go by so fast?  When did they get so old?  Luckily, I don't age as quickly as they do!! ;D

I hope that you get pictures of your family this Thanksgiving.  And, I hope that your table if full with family around and abound with delicious food for all. 

Thanksgiving BAKE SALE fundraiser

Can you believe that it is already this time of year??  I looked at the calendar and it is hard to believe that next week is Thanksgiving.  This Thursday will be my first of the Thanksgiving meals that I'll prepare.  It's turkey and dressing day at school, so I'll have over 400 servings to prepare.  Geez!!

Of course in the midst of the holidays, we still must fund-raise!  So, we figured that we could help you out as well.  :)  So, we are once again doing our fall fundraising bake sale.  Joey will be baking once again!! You get to enjoy!  I know that everyone wants something homemade for Thanksgiving, just let Joey do the cooking.  

Two Layer Chocolate Cake:  $20

Snickerdoodle Bunt Cake:  $15

Two Layer Red Velvet Cake:  $20

24 Butter Croissants:  $15

Homemade Pumpkin Pie:  $15


Please let me know what we can help you with.  Thank you for supporting our fundraising efforts! 

Homeschool VS Public

God has put this one my heart for a while, but I've really, well, put off talking about it.  It seems that lot of people recently have switched over to the home-school idea and don't give our schools the praise they deserve.  Public schools get a bad rap.  So, here are my two cents.  Take it what you will but if you have something negative to say, I'll just remind you that we all have a right to our own opinions and this is just my own.  These are just think from my perspective.

When my children were smaller, I was a big reader to them.  As they grew, I taught them A, B,C's and numbers.  I taught them sounds for each letter so we could put together words.  Even beginning addition.  Before kindergarten, Joey knew all of that as well as could write his name and color in the lines beautifully.  Luke did have a few learning issues but I worked even harder with him.  Faith was even reading BEFORE kindergarten.  She was 4 years old and reading books to her babydolls.  Did I think about homeschooling them at this point since they are doing so well thus far?  Maybe for a moment but I looked at the positives and negatives.

Homeschooling...they can learn on their level and at their own pace.  That means I can spend more time helping Luke and I can really push Joey and Faith.  But...I look at what they give up by being at home all of the time.  First thing that comes to my mind now (that they are teenagers) would be the extra stuff.  The stuff that make going to school worth it when you their age.

Joey is loves being a tuba player!  This opens up opportunities for learning things like how much hard practice is worth it.  He is going to New York City and will play patriotic songs in front of the Statue of Liberty.  AWESOME!  He also enjoys yearbook and has always loved history.  He even got selected to go on a history tour in Washington, Jamestown, ect. in junior high.   He is taking a college history class this year and pre-ap english.  Luke is taking a metal (welding) class and a construction class this year.  Each year will build on his skills.  Even looking at Faith.  She has art and music and PE.  Yes, I love arts and crafts but would I have her try to paint a bowl of apples to learn perspective?  Or different art styles?  Nope, it would be more of the pinterest ideas! LOL  Or try different instruments to see what she could be good at?  There are SO many extra things they learn besides math, english, science, and history.  (Even in science, they are getting out the microscope out and working on slides.) This is just the stuff they enjoy.  The things that help them figure out who they are.  The stuff that makes learning real.

Then, there is the social aspect.  My kids would have each other.  They would have other family members.  They would also have the kids from church.  Yes, they could be a part of library groups or such.  There little bubble would be very small and that's why a lot of parents like home schooling.   They want that control over who influences their child.  And honestly, the more I read the Bible.  The more I know that is not what Jesus would want.  (I know everyone is freaking out right now!)   God would want you to let Him have control of that.  Let God and Let God.  Jesus was out there.  He didn't shelter himself from the rest of the world.  He was out there with the disease.  With the dirty.  With the sinners.  He didn't just surround himself with the 12 disciples and say, "okay, guys, you go do this but I'm staying right here."  No, He showed the 12 how to have a servants heart.  How can be be a light in this world when the only thing we are lighting is own little circle?  Yes, there are bullies in this world.  Yes, even my own kids have been picked on.  But, you know what?  They have the opportunity to show God's love to kids that may not have ever seen it... on a daily basis!  That is how I started going to church years ago.  With friends.  What if their parents decided to place them in the safe bubble?

Do I get frustrated with the system?  Of course.  Even the teachers do.  There are some awesome teachers that I know who want to pull their hair out at things as well.  But they go to work each day knowing they are there to make a difference.  I have had to fight for Luke so much that I am naturally defensive at any of his IEP meetings.  I am always ready to stand up for him.  Honestly, now that Faith is bigger, I am even frustrated at the other end.  My daughter is in middle school and not being challenged hardly at all.  Easy straight A's.   But, I don't look at public school as a drop off and it is the teacher's job to do it all.  First and foremost, it is my job.  God has given me these three kids to do the best possible for them.  So, you know what I have always done?  I work with Luke on his reading at home.  Or his vocab.  Or math.  It is my responsibility to help my child.  Faith is bored.  You know what?  We work on algebra at home for "fun".  (yeah she likes it!)  Public school is a partnership with parents.  Not a drop off baby sitter. 

I have always said that if things got too rough for Luke, I would home school him without a second thought.  Joey and Faith would still be in public school even then.  I know there are special circumstances.  I have a friend that home schools her kids because she lives in such a town and she knows from experience that you can skip more days than your in school and still pass just fine. LOL  She wants a better education than what she got and that is great.  But I also know a sweet family that home schools because she doesn't want to be away from her children that much.  She even plans on doing on line college classes so I am not sure when they will actually face the real world.  I know that if they took the same tests as my kids, they wouldn't be passing.  So, it's really a disservice to her kids.  Sad.

My kids are big now.  I can look at what they are learning and it is SO much more than one person could do at home.  They are getting to experience teachers that are good at their subject,  showing my kids how to do it.  I could not show them everything they are learning.  They are becoming well rounded people who live in the real world.  Yes, they know there are bullies in life.  Yes, some of them have even seen teen pregnancy, gays, and drugs.   But, I wouldn't change it.  My kids are able to be light in the middle of sin.  They are able to be in the middle of the mess man has created and learn to not judge.  When my kids step out into the world on their own, not only will they be able to remember what the Bible says because they learned it in Church and at home (where it should be), they will be able to handle the real world as it really is.

Luke 15:1-7 " Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to 

hear him.  And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man 

receives sinners and eats with them.”  So he told them this parable:  “What

 man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not

 leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost,

 until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, 

rejoicing.  And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his 

neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that 

was lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner

 who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance."

Joey, Luke, and Faith

My little 5 pound baby boy has turned into a 16 year old!  Well, Monday is his birthday.  It is just hard to believe that he is in 10th grade just two years away from graduating!  :(  Can we stop time for a little while and let me just enjoy these days while I can?  Once school starts the busyness increases.  Band practice twice a week after school.  Friday night is high school football with (of course) the band.  I just want to enjoy these years with him.  Not rush through them.  I love this picture of him.  Monsters Inc. was the first movie that I ever took them to in the theater.  I look at this picture of him and Mike and think of the first time he saw it in the theater and was amazed how big the screen was!  I've been teasing him that for his 16th birthday that I would throw him a Quinceañera.  He always tells me that he is not Mexican and it's the wrong birthday.  :D

Faith is still fundraising for soccer.  She has been selling some para-cord bracelets at school.  I've made some burlap door hangers.  BUT, the price is about $2,000 for just two of us.  So, without some big fundraising and donations, we may not be able to go.  We are trying until the end though!!!  We are praying that God will provide and bless our efforts.  We have a rummage sale coming up that will be for the 6 of us.  As well as a pancake breakfast at Applebees.  Hopefully that will bring the costs down!!  If you know of anything that can help, please let me know!

Luke is a construction class this year at the high school, then they bus him back to the junior high.  He is also in FFA for the first year and in a beginning welding class.  Luke is enjoying school again.  He has more classes that he likes compared to the basics that he is required to have.  :)  Of course, we still need to work on his reading.

I look at my family and I am know that I am blessed.  And I am thankful for God's watchful eyes keeping us safe.  It is hard to believe that my babies are so big, but I know what a blessing it is to be a Mom.  I am thankful.

Starting the Fundraising...

Back to the busyness of life.  School.  Band practice.  Soccer practice.  Game days/nights.  Meetings with the school for this or that.  Church on Wednesday nights.  AAAhhhhhhh!!!  I love those few and far between nights when there is nothing.

Now, those nights are even filled.  We have kicked into fundraiser time.  My oldest son, Joey, is a tuba player in high school.  This coming summer they head to New York City and play at the Statue of Liberty.  How awesome is that???!!!! Parent meeting for that trip is this week.  Then my daughter, Faith, played in some 3 vs 3 tournaments this summer.  They placed high enough to where they are invited to play in Disney World in January.  I know...how awesome, right?

Well, both of those trips will have some pretty price tags along with those opportunities.  We've started a few school fundraisers for band already.  I'm sure this week, I'll have to sign up for a monthly payment to be put in Joey's account.  But, honestly, his is in the summer so I have a little time for that.  Faith's is in January.  That means I have September through December to raise enough funds.  Tough months to be saving for a trip.

We are doing several fundraisers as a team to be split among us.  Garage sale will be coming up so if you have anything you'd like to donate to the cause, just let me know! :)  An Applebees breakfast we will squeeze in.  But, on top of the fundraisers for the team, I am going to have to do some fancy fundraising myself to help cover our costs.  So, of course, Faith and I will be doing a bake sale.  I ordered a plastic 3 pack cupcake carrier  (think Harps or Wal-Mart plastic cupcake carriers).   Faith and I will be baking and packaging them up.  Then, selling them for $5.  More affordable and moist than Bliss and it's going for a good cause! :)  So, if you or your hubby works at a place that can help us out with our cupcake selling, PLEASE let me know.  ANY help will be appreciated.  Just let me know how many you'd like to take and what day works for you to take them. 

I am also getting a crafty for some fundraising.  There isn't a finished product yet.  I got a few half way done today so hopefully I can squeeze an hour or two this week to finish a them up.  Here is hoping that this week you have a few moments to just sit.  Moments to not do anything.  Even if those moments are fleeting, we all need a few of them.  :) 

There will be days like this...

there will be days like this....

my momma' said....

Remember that song?  Life.  Sometimes life gets in the way of the happy ending.

Life.  When your alarm clock goes off, you walk in the dark hallway, and step in a mess your puppy left you.  Those days when you are so tired, you fall asleep at 5 p.m. on the couch, then wake yourself up by snoring too loud.  Of course, that's when you look around and the kids are laughing at you, then make the mistake of asking for supper afterwards.  (that was a fend for yourself night!)

Life.  It's not always easy.  Our jobs.  Our kids.  Even their things.  We have so much pulling at us daily.  Those days when I wake up with a headache... I am already taking Tylenol before my day has really begun.  Not a good sign! I watch old shows and wonder what it would be like to just slow down for a while.  The kids weren't in a couple sports plus extra curricular activities like band or choir.  Or we didn't add in some piano lessons after school as well.  We weren't always needing to go somewhere.

As I drift off into a nap, my mind takes me to the Brady Bunch and I realize that's wayyyy too many kids for me! LOL   I clear my head and realize that my happily ever after is now.  This is where I am.  This is where God wants me.  Instead of wishing things were different,   I need to enjoy the blessings God has given me.  He has blessed us so much.  He has taken care of me through difficult times when I could no longer see the light.  I know that God will see me through this day with annoyances it will bring.  After all, this is My Happily Ever After.

This is the day that the Lord has made

let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24

 

The Mask of A Christian

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon

you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 

But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also

rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed."   1 Peter 4:12-13

God never said that our life would be easy. He warns us that it won't be.  We were at Target and my oldest, Joey, found a t-shirt that he really wanted.  It said, "May your life be as interesting as you pretend it is on Facebook."  When did we start covering everything up?  Glossing over life so that the image looks better?

It's not real.   After all of the small talk, then what happens?   I get so tired of fake things.

My kids laugh at me because I can just get through growling at them for something and a second later, answer the phone is the most pleasant voice like everything is fine.  (they, of course, do this when my normal mood has returned! LOL)  We all do this, don't we?  Cover it up...just a little bit.

Afraid of....what?  judgement of others?  Maybe even gossip?

"My companion stretched out his hand against his friends; he violated his

 covenant.  His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart;
his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords."  

Psalms 55:20-21

I believe it's okay to take down the mask.  We are all struggling just trying to make it another day.  Some are wonderful and we can feel the blessings pouring out on us.  Then, there are days that we start out with a cold because the water heater broke and end up with food poisoning from Mexican take out.  Those days where we want to throw our hands up and yell, "I can't take this anymore!!"

We all have different battles.  Some of the hard ones for me might have been easy for you.  So, instead of your judgement, I might have just needed a hug and some advice.  My promise is that I will do the same for you.  Some of your hardships might just need a different perspective.  Or, they might just need a shoulder that can handle some tears.  I can do either one.  :)  

Living behind a mask is a lonely place.  Let's set them aside and see who we really are.  The people God wanted us to be all along.   After all, He sees behind our facade all of the time....

New School Year

2007:  Joey, 4th / Luke, 3rd / Faith, K

One of the many first days of school.  Of course, in those days, they loved picking out their school supplies.  As you can tell, the boys didn't even mind wearing the same t-shirt.  Lunch boxes were so important.  And, backpacks told your personality.  At that age, my kids were usually getting on each others nerves by the time school starts.  And, I was ready to send them back!!!

Fast forward a few years... I have one starting high school, one in junior high, and one in middle school.  This summer they got along better and there was less fighting.  And, I'm not really ready to send them back.  I want a little more time with them.  It is here, ready or not.  Yes, I still made them stop and pose for a first day of school photo shot.  I realize I only have a few more years of these to go.  :(

2013:  Joey, 10th / Luke, 9th / Faith, 6th

My kids have grown and changed.  But, that is part of God's plan.  We are to grow and to no longer be spoon fed.  Our light needs to be bright so others can see.  When I look at my kids, I see that potential that God sees when He looks at each of us.  I am not a big believer in sheltering my kids in a small little bubble that revolves around them.  I see that so much today in many people's parenting.  No, I don't want them to be exposed to everything, of course.  But, Jesus didn't just talk the talk.

Jesus didn't just sit in a circle with His twelve disciples and talk.  He was out there in the real world.  Where there is sickness.  Where there were prostitutes.  There were were people possessed by demons.  Hello?!  There were bad things in the world then and now.  Many parents want to home-school their children to keep them apart from the world.  God has called us to be Salt and Light.  How can we do this when we are trying so hard to be separate??

Sorry, I'll save that for another post.  :)  I just look at my children and I am proud.  Proud because they have had some wonderful teachers that have taught them way more than what was in the book.  Teachers that have given them a different perspective than I have thought of.   I am proud at the influence that my children have had over their teachers and friends.   I am proud that when my kids say something about church, others know they are not just a pew warmer.  They are Salt and Light for God.  I couldn't ask for anything more.

Life is Precious

"For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, 

whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's."  Romans 14:8

Life is precious.

Whether it is in the miracle of life....

Or the homecoming of death.  
Life is precious.

There are times in our lives when God reminds us of this gift.  Reminds us not to take it for granted.  It usually takes something big to get our attention.  The little stuff seems to go unnoticed.  So, God will use something big to turn our eyes and hearts on Him....where it should have been this whole time.  God has been using others to remind my heart of this.

One of my own reminders:  My daughter has a friend her own age, Alyssa, who has been through so much.  Her pancreas has never worked right.  This summer, her family went to Minnesota for a huge pancreatectomy surgery.  Alyssa has been there over 20 days now.  She has had a rough time.  She has been in pain.  Recovery will take God's healing and some time.  Please add Alyssa and her family to your prayer list.  I cannot imagine how hard it is for her parents right now. God's strength is holding them up right now.  Life is precious...

Another reminder would have to do with cancer, of course.  A sweet lady, Kathy, has been fighting cancer for some time.  She has such a strength given to her by God.  A light from within that cannot be diminished.  Kathy has went for another scan and the cancer which was in remission, has shown it's ugly face once again.  Radiation will begin again.  Another one of God's children in need of prayer.  And, another example of  how precious Life is.
 

When we reach the end of our rope, we see God more clearly.  He has been there the whole time.  How else would we have made it this far?  Our troubles are but a moment...just a blink of an eye... when we get to the other side.  Until that day, we have a Savior that will be with us step by step and day by day.  A God stronger than anything this world can give us.  

 
"Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."  James 4:13-14

Parenting, Taking a Hard Look

Parenting...
It is not an easy job.  There isn't any putting a band-aide on it and dealing with it later.  It is an everyday job.  It is putting your heart out there daily.  Praying each day that your doing what is right for your kids.  Even though sometimes, your just feeling your way through the situation.  As my kids get older, I have had to take a step back and look at them.

Not as a parent.  But try to put myself in an outsiders perspective looking at my kids.  How does my kid interact with other kids?  How does he/she interact with other adults?  Would I want to be around them?  Yes, it is hard to look at your kids open and honestly.  But, it is necessary.  We are training our children to go out into this world.  Not, live in our basements and have friends just on Facebook.

Take for instance, little "Sally."  She seems like a model child.  Sally is very respectful with adults.  Very much a little "yes, ma'am" kinda girl.  Always the first one to raise her hand.  Ready to please her teacher in everything.  But, for some odd reason, the other children don't seem to like her.  Her parents think it is just because she's a teacher's pet.  What her parents don't see is how Sally interacts with the other kids when an adult isn't present.   They don't hear Sally's mouthy-ness towards every one.  They don't hear what Sally says about the other kids.  They have no idea their sweet little Sally is actually Eddie Haskell in disguise. 

After finally figuring out this Sally in my life, I looked at my own kids.  Removing my rose colored glasses and really trying to figure out their weaknesses because we all have them.  One of my kids really doesn't have any go-get-'em spirit about him.  He is content to be in the middle of the pack and doesn't strive to be first at anything. (drives his father crazy!!)   He does have a lot of friends, but he doesn't think before he speaks.  (drives me crazy!!)  What can I do to help him?  The griping at him doesn't seem to help.  How do to motivate some one that is content with the middle??  I can't make him want something that I want for him.  One of the joys of parenting is figuring things out, right?

Take a moment today to look at your kids from your neighbor's perspective.  Or maybe the other children around their age.  Maybe it is not always the other kids fault.  As parent's we need to take the good and the bad.  It doesn't mean we have to accept that is just the way they are.  It is our job to mold them into good, Godly men and women.  We can't do that if our rose colored glasses are hiding the truth right in front of our eyes.

5 Minute Friday: Present

It is that time again....to write for 5 minutes flat....no editing...writing from the heart and sharing with others.  It is part of Gypsy Momma blog.  Today's topic:  Present.  

Starting... Now....

Each day seems to pass quickly.  One right on top of each other.   After all, it is already July!  One trip into Hobby Lobby and you would think December is next month.  In the back of my mind, I know it will be here soon enough.  These months pass all too fast and quickly turn into years.

I look at my kids and realize that my time with them is limited.  Soon, I will be another mom with empty nest syndrome.  :(  But, right now, I have to make an effort to be present.  Not just in the same room, but to be involved and in-touch with my children.  So, that even when they venture out and leave, we will have a deep connection.  And wonderful memories to look back upon.

I need to lead by example how much God is present in every aspect of our lives.  How much I rely daily on His strength.  How God is always present and we must live our lives as if this is true.  God is not just a part of our lives on Sundays and Wednesday, but He is in our lives at all times.  The world would be a better place if we all lived like this. 

STOP

Mother's Prayer 

Lord, give me strength just for today
To lead my children in your way;
Oh, give me wisdom, Lord, and grace
To show to them your precious face!

And help me, Lord, to teach them, too,
The things of Christ so rich and true,
Just let them see in me, dear Lord,
Your holiness in life and word.

by  Unknown

Babies into Teens

Seasoned parents, remember those days when your children were small?  They would look up to you as if you knew everything.  Holding out their hands ready for you to hold.  Wet kisses with slobber left on your cheek.  Smiles that are meant for Mommy and Daddy only.  The giggles and laughter of toddlers filling up your home with love.

Those are wonderful memories.  It seems like so long ago.  Well, considering I have one going into high school... maybe it was so long ago!  Through the years, our relationships change with our children.  We are no longer the "all knowing" parents.  We some how become ancient and kinda dumb as our children transform into teenagers.  How many times has my son told us, "that's the way you did back then.  It's not that way now..."  ??

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him."   Proverbs 22:15

I do try to give my kids some space.  They are in a stage where even giving hugs or a kiss on the cheek is torture.  Not a fun stage when you are a hug-y kinda mom.  (very glad my daughter is not there yet!!)  Would I like a hug without them making a big deal or acting like I am taking them to the death chamber?  Of course!  I just don't see it happening now.  :(

Teenagers can drive you mad.  By now, they know which buttons to push.  They have their own sense of humor, which often enough, include parents now.  Yeah, they laugh at us now which depending on my own mood, is how that goes over! LOL  Some days they are luckily enough to have me laughing with them.  Some days they get the look because they better not push it too far.  Hey, just being honest here! :D

"Fathers, do not provoke your children 
to anger, but bring them up in the
discipline and instruction of the Lord." 
 Ephesians 6:4

 I grew up in a house with a lot of yelling.  Once my brother hit a teenager in high school, there was plenty of yelling.  About his clothes, his attitude, his friends, his room.  Even though the yelling was not directed at me, it was still there and affected everything.  I don't want my home to be like that.  You shouldn't want it either.  It is not the home life anyone should grow up in.  Yes, we are human and we all lose it once in a while.  It should not be part of daily life.

Teens are a cycle in life.  We all go through it.  What's worse is our beautiful little 6 lb. babies grow into these aliens for a few years. With God's help and guidance along the way, we will make it. Yes, we might have to bite our tongue daily.  Control our temper, after all they know how to push it.  They are worth it.  We are molding our children right now.  As they watch us and see how we handle conflicts, they are learning their own behaviors.  They are learning what is acceptable behaviors. 

Remember, even as our children may grow taller than us....little eyes are still looking up to us.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old

 he will not depart from it."  Proverbs 22:6

Singing Praises!

"I give you thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart;  before the gods I sing

 your praise;   I bow down toward your holy temple and give thanks to your

 name for your steadfast love and your faithfulness..."  Psalm 138:1-2

I have been feeling very thankful lately.  That is not a bad thing.  It is a great mindset that can improve your day instantly.  :)  I have been looking back over the past year and seeing how much God has blessed us and I am humbled.  God is SO good.  We just need to take a moment and acknowledge it.  Sing His praises because He is worthy!

I look at my kids and feel so much love and purpose.  Are they perfect?  uhh...no!  But, none of us are.  I feel so blessed that God has given me these children to care for and protect.  What an honor to be a Mother.  So many women long for that, and I have three. I don't take that for granted.  He protected me and my children through my difficult pregnancies.   With God's help every step of the way, I have two boys bigger than I and a daughter heading to middle school.


Last year, we were house looking.  Which after they year before of renting and moving a couple times, sounded wonderful!  A home.  But, the house looking part...not as much fun.  If you've done that recently, then you know how frustrating that can be.  We were looking for a foreclosure, trying to save some money.  We found a wonderful real estate agent and she took us to house after house.  We even bid on several.  Nothing ever came through.  The foreclosure market can drive you crazy.  

Then, we looked at this home in June.  The owner was in her 80's and was there while we looked at the house.  It was like walking back in time, welcome to the 70's show!  Nothing in the house was updated, but it felt like home.  We looked at it on a Friday, bid on it on Sunday, and she signed the papers on Monday.  We moved in August of last year.  Amazing how God works!  I know looking back, that God was making us wait for this home.  I don't take it for granted.  Yes, this old house needs some attention, but it is a work of love.  God blessed us with more than we expected!

The family and friends that have helped along the way.  My brother-in-law has spent a lot of hours here helping with the electrical.   My mom helped me go through all the rooms full of stuff and get the bedrooms painted while the kids were at camp.  Even my friend's dad, Joey, helped me with the tile in the kitchen.  We had some 5 gallon buckets of paint given to us from friends.  And even some ceiling fans given to us for bedrooms.  Recently, we had friends bring an auger to dig holes for a wood fence and another friend take a day off work to help us get them set.  What a blessing!  God has used so many people to bless us this year.  How could I not feel thankful?

There was a year or two where God was sharpening me, molding me, making me stronger.  I was stripped down to the basics of what is important:  God and my family.  Those times are necessary but not much fun to go through.  I feel so blessed.  Family.  Friends. Home. And now, a reliable car!  God is SO good!!

Busy, Busy, Busy!

First of all, the baskets are done!  Filled with Pumpkin scones, Cinnamon Struesel Muffins, Strawberry Bread, Sweet Cinnamon Biscuits, Pumpkin Oat Muffins, Chocolate Scones.  So yummy!!  My kids have enjoyed the left overs! :)

There is no fluff in these baskets!  They are filled!!

I have also have been painting the living room and putting up new curtains.  I love it!  It feels warm and homey to me!  I can finally put pictures up! This is one by the front door so you can see the pretty color behind it.  It's a terra-cotta color.  ;)

We are also working on the master bathroom.  We took down the tile and got the mold out.  Now, we are putting the new up.  Long process but it is looking great!  Once I patch the couple holes and mud all the way around, I can put up some new paint and it will look completely different!

I am so thankful for the blessings that God has given us.  Each project is a labor of love.  I know that God has given this home for us to share.  It will be great when we get a few things done and we are able!  My heart is full and my body is a bit tired tonight! ;D  That is how it should be!

Spring Contest Winners!

Thank you so much for everyone that put their name in for the drawing!  It makes it much more fun when people play!  After all, who doesn't like to win something? ;)

The contest winners are:

(wait for it....vision streamers starting to fall and confetti blasting up!)

(don't forget the music playing in the background either!)

Jenny and Louise!  Congratulations Ladies!  Two ladies that have never won one of my drawings.  So, woo-hoo!!  Here is the list randomizer if you are curious how close you were:

Thank you all for playing.  I need to have one again soon because everyone deserves a little bit of love baked in the shape of a scone. :)  I'll post pictures of the baskets one I finish them.  Of course, that means I need to start them!!   Have a great weekend everyone!

Spring Contest 2013

Summer is her!! Luckily, summer temps have not made it here yet!  I know that most people are ready for summer and enjoy the heat.  I enjoy the time with my kids and the chance to get things done.  The weather is my least favorite of all seasons.  BUT, I do think we should celebrate a bit with a giveaway!

One of last yrs basket winners!

I am thinking...hummmm...  maybe a breakfast basket.  Like some scones and muffins.   Oh, cannot forget a sweet bread like maybe strawberry or banana bread.  Of course, there are always some cinnamon biscuits or cinnamon rolls too.  I'm making myself hungry this morning!  :)

Its been a long time since we've had a drawing. In fact, I just looked and it was last spring.  So sorry about that guys! And because it has been so long, I'll be making up two baskets!  So, two chances to win!!

Please remember the rules: 1)  Just hit the comment button and leave your name  2)  Must be able to meet me in locally.  (NWA area)  3) Drawing will be Friday June 7th. 

Good Luck Everyone!

Modesty of Girls

Last year, I wrote a post about Girls and Attention.   I should have realized then, it is just going to get harder to stay modest as they get older.  Girls my daughters age (11 yrs) wear shorts that are about the size of their panties. (notice these shorts are only about an inch from the inseam area)

And, of course, shirts that are on the tight side and some that even show their bellies.  Luckily, my daughter does not want any part of that still.  So,  what is my girl to do?  We found out that just going to pick out some new shorts or a new swimsuit means going five or six stores.  :/

Faith told me after school yesterday that a friend thought she was wearing capri's.  Why you may ask?  Because her shorts went down to her knees.  Faith had on some athletic shorts.  Her friend had on some of the shorty-shorts.  Several inches of material difference!

Swimsuit shopping was even worse.  It seems even the once piece suits want to show cleavage that the girls are developing! Of course the most popular suit, was the bikini.

Yes, this was in the little girls department.  Not the teen or women's.  Small girls wearing a string bikini!!  If a little girl is wearing strings when they are small because they think it makes them look pretty, what is she going to do when she is older to look pretty??  Where is the modesty the Bible speaks about?

Faith told me that she wanted some of the surfer board shorts this year with a swim suit top.  Sounds easier enough, right?  Nope, not really.  We did find some board shorts at the Children's Place and Old Navy.  However it's the top that is the issue.  She didn't really want a board shirt, so we were looking at the tops of bathing suits.  Mostly were stings with triangles.  Or went low in the front and showed her belly.

I just don't understand why parents want this for our girls!  If parents didn't buy it.  They would not sell it.  Yet, looking around, they are selling tons of it.  Why do you want your sweet, innocent little girl showing all of her body? I know I might sound like a prude right now.  That is the chance I am going to take.  My girl is worth SO much more.  I am so proud that she agrees with me right now.  Yes, that may change as she tries to fit in when she gets older.  I hope that she always stands on her principals....God's principles.

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, 

whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a

 price. So glorify God in your body."   1 Corinthians 6:19-20

"Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable
 apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold
 or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who
 profess godliness—with good works."  1 Timothy 2:9-10

Building Bridges

I can not believe it's been so long since I've posted.  I've been working on my bible study for the pre-teen class so much that after I put that away...I chill for a bit and off to bed.  Yes, I know, it is an exciting life.  :)  But, I love those kids in class so it is totally worth it.  The number of days of school left is in the teens.  I believe each of us are in need of a break.  I have  so many unfinished projects going on at home that I am looking forward to having time to finish them ALL.  That's my goal anyway.  ;)  Who knows how many I will start after I get those done.  Then, I will be in the same predicament I am now!  And, I will continue to drive my husband crazy!! haha!!

Speaking of driving my hubby crazy...  My husband growled at me yesterday.  "Growled" is the best way to describe it.  Why you may ask?  Is it because all of my projects waiting to be finished?  Or the laundry or dishes?  Nope, none of those.  It is because I am such a people pleaser and let others walk on me.  He told me that I go out of my way just to let them kick me.  My husband knows that I've always done this.  It's really one of those things he loves about me. I do this with family all of the time.  (my brother being a prime example!)   I tell him time and time again that I cannot control other people.  I can only control myself.  It is not going to be my fault and no one (including my self-conscience) can say I didn't try.  He doesn't understand how or why I set myself up just to get hurt over and over again.

I can keep trying even when they walk away or blame me because I am secure in who I am.  Yes, there are things I'd like to change.  But, the person I am inside, is a woman secure in a God that loves her.  I have survived things that most people cannot imagine, nor would want to.  Only He could change my heart from the angry, confused thing it was when I was 20 into a heart full of love and peace knowing He is in control.  Am I perfect?  No, way!  But, I am strong enough to keep trying to build bridges, even before others are ready.

I believe that is what Christ would want us to do.  Continue to reach out even when your not wanted.  I was talking with my class last week.  I told them that it usually isn't an overnight  turn over when people turn their life over to God.  God works on their hearts and He puts people in there life to help nudge them in that direction.  You, putting yourself out there and talking about your faith, may not lead to anything but rejection.  But, that is only what you see.  God sees the big picture.  It might take 10 people talking with them to turn them towards God and you might only be number two.   But, to God, you listened and you were a step leading them in the right direction.  God knows the big picture!  Your words do matter.  Stepping out of your comfortable zone does matter.  Building bridges are important.

Then, when I look at Biblegateway today, this is the verse of the day:

"Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.
 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that
 you may know how you ought to answer each person." 
 Colossians 4:5-6 

And remember this one as well:

"Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother
sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”  Jesus said
 to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times." 
 Matthew 18:21-22

 So, don't be afraid of rejection.  God will be there to mend your heart when it gets bruised and battered.  Be afraid of not trying anymore.  God doesn't need people full of righteous anger.  He needs hearts willing to take that step to build a bridge.

Sometimes it is just too much...

There are times when it's hard to write.  Those moments when there is so much inside and there just doesn't seem to be a beginning point.  Those moments when I know that I really should be snuggled up in my covers sleeping but I have too much running through my head.  I look at the time and realize...yep, tomorrow is going to be a long day.

 "For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's sake lead me, and guide me"  Psalm 31:3

*******************
God put those words on my heart one late night last week.  I never could finish it so I saved it as a draft.  It was just too much.  There were a few days week when I was not sure if my Grandmother would make it.  Yes, my head knows she is about 95 and has lived a long life.  But, my heart is not ready to let go.  A friend's mother..her cancer has come back.  A friend's father has terminal cancer.  Also, a precious little baby, Lily, has been on my heart constantly.  Her name has been in my thoughts each and every day from morning until I fall asleep at night.

Tonight I am thankful for the solid rock I stand on tonight.  Tonight, Ms. Lily has been healed.  She is in the arms of our Savior.  Her eyes are wide open and her mind is clear.  Her weak body has been traded for an everlasting one.  In her short life, she brought us all together.  In her short life, she knows what it means to be unconditionally loved both here and on the other side.  Lily has taught us not to take tomorrow for granted.  We must live in the here and the now.  We must support one another through the valleys of this life.

Yet, it is so hard to be here left on this side.  No words can truly comfort the loss of a child.  I feel like I should do something...anything....but there is nothing I can do, except continue to pray.  To fall on my knees, tears and all, and ask God to be in the middle of the situation.  My heart is broken tonight for Lily and her family, as I am sure many others are.  I love her and I want her to stay, but I don't want her to suffer.  And, I can't have it both ways.  I hand my broken pieces to God and let him put it back together again some how.  I know that God will heal my heart in time, but  it will not be the same.

Please pray join me in prayer for Lily's family.  I know that only way to get through this is with God's help and our prayers. 

Meaning of Easter

It is the Easter season once again.  Hard to believe it is only a couple days away.   Usually I am decorating with spring colors by now.  Thinking of Easter clothes or spring pictures.  Filling colorful eggs with chocolate and gummies.  This year my heart is heavy with the burdens of the world.

So many people are struggling with cancer.  Mothers and Fathers will soon be saying their good-byes to their children and grandchildren.  It is so difficult to lose a parent, no matter how old we are.  Kent and I keep thinking about our Grandma as well.  She is in her 90's and fading faster it seems.  Last year, our aunt heard her talking to Jesus in her room.  She told Him that Easter would be a good time because, after all, You died for us.  (gave us the hint who she's talking too!)  Now, with Easter among us, we keep going back to that conversation.  We keep wondering if it will happen soon.  I saw her on my birthday and the thought hit me that this could be the last time I see her alive.  I made sure that I gave her a hug and told her I love her.  There is also a precious baby girl that will soon be back in the hands of Jesus.  A kiss on her small delicate  newborn head just to let her know she is loved by many breaks my heart.   God has a way of talking to you through music and I had my Mark Shultz CD in.  This song came on after I saw her:

 "Then something died inside of me to sit with him and hear
The tests that said our baby may not live to be a year
Then turnin' to my wife and he said "whatcha you wanna do?"
And she said...

I wanna give her the world
I wanna hold her hand
I wanna be her mom for as long as I can
And I wanna live every moment until that day comes
I wanna show her what it means to be loved"

What it means to be loved by M. Shultz

My heart just aches.  The ugly tears and stuffy nose has once again hit.  I am so thankful and blessed that we serve a risen savior.  It is because Jesus arose on the third day, that I know I'll see these loved ones one again.  It is because He LIVES that I have hope.  This year, the joys of Easter traditions have seemed to escape me.  It has left me with the true meaning of Easter.

"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone!

Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives!"

Because He lives by Bill & Gloria Gaither

Reaching Across the Ocean

It is amazing how God can use you when you let him.  My little blog here isn't anything glamorous.  It's real life.  The good.  The bad.  Even the ugly tears.  I don't pretend here that everything is great when my heart is breaking.  When something is great, I'll share that as well.  It is all here.  It's open for anyone to read.  I don't have anything to hide.

Some one asked me why I write this blog.  My answer?  I just want God to use me.  If through this blog, I can help another person going through a struggle, it means something.   My sin and mistakes are spelled out in black and white.  My worries and struggles are there for all to see.  But through all the mud of this life, my hope is found in God alone.  I want that to be light, even if just a small nightlight, for some one struggling.

And as amazing as it is to me, not only do I have friends that will read a post here and there and let me know it touched them.  But, just this week alone ~ I had around 20 views from each of these countries:  Germany, United Kingdom, Sweden, and Russia!!!  That is incredible to me knowing that my little blog could touch some one in another country.  My posts about autism are visiting frequently, as well as, my posts about abuse and self-esteem.  I pray that these people searching for answers can find the hope and peace that I have found.

So, thank you to those viewers to my humble abode.  My hope is that I've been able to let you know that your not alone.  We all struggle.  We all crumble to our knees at times.  What matters is what you look at while your down on your knees.  Are you looking around for answers that cannot be found?  Or are your eyes pointed up where our hope is found?