Saturday, October 1, 2011

When Love's Not Returned



Kinda blunt and to the point, huh? Some one posted this on Facebook and I actually kinda like it. Well, maybe "like" is not the right word. I understand it. One of those things where I've been there ~ done that. There are several people through the years that I've cared about. I've given them pieces of me. . . of my heart. And, afterwards, found out that they never really wanted it to begin with. Haven't we all done that?

My brother is a good example. Sad, isn't it? That the first one that pops in my head after reading that, would be a relative. If he wanted to be a part of my life, my children's lives, he has had opportunities. But, I can't give up that hope that something will change his mind and his heart. I still send him invites for the holidays and cook outs. I've baked a basket full of cookies and bread every year for Christmas for several years now. Looking honestly though, it has been two years since I've seen him... and we live in the same town. My husband has told me that I must like rejection to keep doing it year after year. He would have written him off long ago.

In some ways, maybe my husband is right. I want that relationship. I want a brother (or sister) that I can call up. Some one that shares the childhood that we both went through. A family member that will be there when the world is falling apart. When my Dad went to the doctors and had tests run with his cancer, it was just me up there. I wanted my big brother there. He wouldn't even return my phone calls. He wouldn't come. So, in many ways, I feel like an only child who longs for their sibling. I have several friends that were only children and as things happened with their parents and families ~ they did go through it alone. I had a brother, but he chose not to be there.

When you read that sign, do you have some one come to mind? A friend? A family member? There have been friends through the years that I can also relate too. Friends that I was there for who left when I needed them. (just part of growing up I believe) Friends that you find out later ~ were never your friend at all. (also part of growing up) Maybe it's a family member like my brother. Maybe it's your parents with a messy divorce. Maybe it is the in-laws that do not accept you. It is true that if some one wants to be a part of your life ~ my life ~ they will find a way. Through their decisions and actions we will know where we stand with them. Just as they will know by how we treat them. Isn't it true that you make time when it's important? Or at least make plans? The hard part is, we must decide of what to do when we want some one in our lives and they do not want us. Because I have learned through the years that it doesn't matter how much you want a relationship to work ~ it takes two people. So, it is your choice if you love love others even when it's not returned. Or if it is time to love them (and yourself) enough to let them go.




Proverbs 27:6
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
profuse are the kisses of the enemy"

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