Blessings Everywhere

Everyone knows that it gets worse before it gets better, right? I, like everyone else, just wishes we could bypass that getting worse part. Or when you think, okay, this is the bottom ~ guess what?! Yep, you guessed it. Slip-slide down just a little more. It's okay. God knows. It is so easy to look around at my situation and become discouraged. To feel hopeless. To look around for that white flag to raise up. But ~ that's not what need to be doing. Sometimes when you get so wrapped up in the drama of life, the blessings go un-noticed. I don't want that to happen.

I want to notice the good things. I want praise God and thank God, no matter where I am in this journey. Yes, I do have much to be thankful for. Most of all, God. Yep, three little letters but one BIG word. :~) I have three great kids that overall are healthy. I am SO thankful each and everyday that Luke is not severe. I have a husband that is trying: trying to understand. trying to have the faith through this. trying to be patient. Just trying. I am also thankful for fall. My favorite season. I love the cooler temperatures that just call to be outside. I baked Saturday afternoon for parent teacher conferences and had the windows open. Wonderful! Friday, we are planning to pack up our lunchboxes and have a picnic at the park with my niece. I love this time of year! Yes, there are blessings on this journey. We just have to take time to notice.

Hope Through the Trials

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting

away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our

light and momentary trouble are are achieving for us an eternal glory

that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,

but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is

unseen is eternal."

Just remember that no matter what situation that you are in: You are not alone. You are loved. You are here for a purpose. You are a Child of God. This song has touched my heart and made me sing loud. Windows up in car, of course! :~) I can feel the words. I hope that it can give you hope as well, no matter where you are on your journey.

Praise You in this Storm. By Casting Crowns.

Written by M. Hall & B. Herms

"As the thunder rolls

I barely hear you whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands

And praise the God that gives and takes away.

And I will praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands

For You are who You are no matter where I am

And every tear I've cried, You hold in your hand

You never left my side and though my heart is torn

I will praise you in this storm."

Change. . .

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to

prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I cling to this promise. I am not very good at change. I tend to be more like the turtle where slow and steady wins the race. Not the rabbit which is bouncing from here to there, making change. I know this and it can be a good trait. I'm very loyal. I am forgiving. I'm one of those that you can call at 2 a.m. and I ask 'are you okay?' and 'what can I do?' Yet, there are times like now, when I wish I took change easier. I know in my head that sometimes we must be broken, so that God can make us what we are meant to be. Yet, that is never an easy process.

John 15:2

"He cuts off every branch in my that bears no fruit, while every branch that

does bear fruit, He prunes so it will be even more fruitful."

My husband's job, well, sucks really. He was working a month of nights. Then, a month of days. 12 hour shifts. Four days on then four days off. Usually during the summer months, he'd have to work two days overtime and only get two days off before doing it again. But, now, the recession is even hitting us. They have laid off around 60 people. They are working three 8-hour shifts. He got placed on third shift from 11 pm to 7 am. But, the worse is not over. There will be more layoffs. And ~ he's not that far from the bottom of the list anymore. He's worked there twelve years now and he's not that far from the bottom. Unbelievable. To top that off, they will be going down to a four day work week. 32 hours a week. This has been so hard to all of us. For him, he believes it's his job to provide for his family. And he has no control over what's going on. How can this happen? It's not like we're newlyweds just starting out. We should be on our feet supporting our family at this time in our lives, not struggling week by week just to get by. I always wonder why it is that in Heaven, money means nothing. Yet, we struggle with it so much here on Earth. I know it has to do with sin, but honestly, my dream on Earth would be to have a home, pay my bills, and go on a family vacation once a year. Simple right? Yet, it can be so hard.

Things are changing in our lives. We just have to trust in God right now that things will turn out, not just okay, but better. That the plans that He has for us is better than what we could even ask for. I am leaning heavily on the promises of God. For I know that I am a child of His. I can let it go to God, for there is nothing that can be done but to pray. For His will to be done. For strength. For compassion. For understanding. For a peace in my heart & mind.

1 Peter 1:6-7

"though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds

of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold,

which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine

and may result in praise, glory, and honor when

Jesus Christ is revealed."

My Family. . .

My niece, Abby

My sons, Joey & Luke with my nephew, Phillip

My daughter, Faith, with my nieces, Summer & Cara

"If I could give you one thing in life,

I would give yourself the ability

To see yourself through my eyes.

Only then,

Would you realize how special you are.."

~ Unknown

To Love, Not Judge

1 John 4:12

"No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another,

God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."

I'll be honest. There are times when that is easier said than done. It is so easy to look at some one and just see what's on the outside. What they present to rest of the world. I make snap decisions based upon that. I have three kids. Is this some one I want my kids to speak to? Is this some one I feel comfortable talking with? There are so many bad things out there. So many things that I want to protect my kids and, honestly, myself from. Yet, it's my job as a parent to prepare them....

not shelter them.

Yes, there are crazy people out there. Sick people that do sick things to children and adults. As much as I'd love to hover over my children, it's not doing them any good unless I teach them about the world. Teach me kids to yell "help", not just scream if some one tries to take them. Teach them to be aware of their surroundings and each other. Teach them when to fight and when to run. Teach them about the world with all of the joys and faults it has to offer. I believe that going to public school is a great tool to prepare kids for the world. They are around children that are not like them or the other kids at church. They are exposed to different ideas that we may have never thought of. Yes, they are around kids that don't believe in God. They are around different religions that I don't believe in. Isn't that the way it is for us in the world everyday? It's our chance and our children's chance to stand on our faith. I try to teach them not to judge others, just to give other kids a chance. The Bible says to love one another ~ Even the bullies. Even the brother that doesn't call or show up. Even ones that judge you. Yes, Jesus loved all of us.

1 John 4:21

"And he has given us this command: whoever loves God must also love his brother."

Some days are easier than others... Some people are easier than others... But, if I am to teach my children not to judge others and to give people a chance, I can do no less than to lead by example. I know that I can't do it alone. And I know that I will fail at times. This is a hard comandment to follow, but I know I must try.

Why?

Three little letters.

One BIG question.

Things in this life don't always go as you plan. Or if you like me lately, never go as planned. Sometimes I feel like a hamster going around and around in a circle but never actually going anywhere. You try. You pray. Then, that door closes and your in a room, in the dark, waiting...for God's Light to shine where He's put the window. Sometimes that wait is short. (Love those times!) Sometimes there is a lesson within the wait and it's long. Of course while I'm in the dark, I start to question, "Why?" Why am I here? Why me? (don't we all eventually get to that question?) Why now? and it goes to the question, "What do I do now?"

Kent and I are reading a book called 'When Life Is Hard.' It talks about how those who are not traveling the path of God seem to have it easy. Their worries on this earth seem small. It's because there isn't a fight of good against evil. Evil has already won in their lives. Yet, for those who try to stay on God's path ~ we struggle. Sometimes we have to get out the hatchet and chop down the vines on our path. Evil wants us to give in and scream, 'It's too much!' God is there protecting us but He knows our hearts. He knows how much we really can take. Of course, God's version of what I can take and my version are different sometimes. The Lord knows when I just need to hear an, "I love you mommy" to keep me going. And then sometimes, you just need to say a prayer, cuddle under the covers, and rest. Trusting that you've put your troubles in God's hands and there's nothing He can't see you through.

Psalm 34:18-21

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.

He protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken,

Evil will slay the wicked, the foes of the righteous will be condemned."

God's Will, Not Our Own

God's Lent Child

I'll lend you for a little while, a child of mine, God said
For you to love her while she lives, and mourn for when she's dead.
It may be six or seven years, or forty-two or three;
But will you, till I call her back, take good care of her for me?
I'll bring her charms to gladden you, and should her stay be brief,
You'll have the lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught below I want this child to learn.
I've searched the whole world over, for teacher's kind and true;
And from the things crowd life's way, I have chosen you.
Now will you give her all your love? Nor think the labor vain?
Nor hate me should the angels call, to take this child back again?
To which the parents did reply, Dear Lord, Thy will be done.
For all the joys thy child will bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter her with tenderness, we'll love her while we may.
For all the love this child will bring, forever grateful we will stay.
But should thy angels call for her, much sooner than we planned,

We'll brave the bitter grief that grows and try to understand.

This is one of those poems that has been around a while. I've read it years ago, before I had my own children. It made me sad for a moment but it didn't effect me. It wasn't personal. Yesterday, I ran across it again and it made me stop...and think. I have a friend who is so strong. She has to be for God to give her so much. She has lost not one, but two children. Not far apart from each other. Yes, she got to see her children grow into teens and starting to become their own person. But ~ that is where their journey ended. I can't put myself in her spot. I haven't been there. I was there through her grief with her daughter. I saw so much strength, even in her tears.

I hope that I never have to say 'I've been there' for that lesson on earth. I pray that it's not in God's plans for me. However, in between Luke and Faith, I had a miscarriage. I was going to doctor's appointments once a month. I was actually feeling good, which was not normal for me. I wasn't throwing everything up. I craved soup. Blood pressure was normal. I just knew it was a girl. My pregnancy was so different then when I had the boys. I was buying purple teddy bears and blankets. Pink outfits. That's how sure it was a girl. Her name was going to be Destiny. Then, came the appointment. I guess it was the 4th month because I was going to schedule my ultrasound for the next month. And, then the one thing you never want to happen ~ there was not a heartbeat. They sent me to the emergency room to have their machines do an ultrasound. Silence...

The only noise in the room was my sobs. How many times can you cry "NO!" and still feel like your not being heard?? Since I was so far along, they wanted to do a D & C. They told me that the baby's too big. Here I go again with the "NO!" I remember telling them that if God wanted this baby back, then He has to do it. Not me. Not you. So, they scheduled it for 4 weeks later and if I didn't have it by then, they would have to do the D & C to prevent infection. So, I went to the pharmacy and filled my pain pills and went home. I lived in denial. That's how I coped. Doctor's have been wrong before. This couldn't be happening. I'd sit in the nursery after the boys went to bed and rock in the rocking chair and cover myself with her lavender blanket. And cry...

Weeks progressed with nothing. I became more sure that the doctor's were wrong. Nothing is going to happen. I talked with God all the time. Pleaded with God. Cried. Begged. But, His plans are not our own. The night before I had to go into the hospital, my water broke all over the kitchen after the boys were in bed. The first and only time my water broke naturally. I don't know how many pain pills I took because they didn't help at all. It was like taking an aspirin when you need a midol. So much pain.. physically...mentally. But ~ God knew I didn't want to have the D&C done. He knew I'd always doubt and wonder if I had it done. So, the next morning, instead of going in for the procedure, I just got checked over and made an appointment for next year. Now, I am one of the statistics. I can say 'I understand' and 'I've been there' to women who's had a miscarriage.

It was a long hard year. No one knows what to say when you have a miscarriage. It was a year of faith. A year of believing there's a reason, even when I cannot see. I sat in the nursery in the evenings praying for my little girl back. I remember telling God that there are a lot of souls up there but I wanted that one little girl. The one that I lost. The one that is meant to be with me in this life. The next year, I kept my appointment for my yearly woman's appointment. And the doctor came in and told me that I was pregnant! I was in a bit of shock. I went home that day and I pulled out the pill bottle in the medicine cabinet. It was the exact same day I refilled the pain meds a year earlier. The same day there wasn't a heartbeat ~ a year later, there was a new life. God is good! Guess what? I was craving soup again. But, instead of her being my Destiny ~ she is Faith.