Our parents are getting older. Which makes sense because well...got some gray going on myself! But, it just seems so unreal at times. My mother's skin is getting thinner and she bruises easily. Sometimes she looks so frail.
My Dad passed away in 2009 from cancer. I remember going to all of the doctor's appointments. I filled out the paperwork and spoke with the doctors. Just as I do for my own children. My Dad, which would look at any contract before I signed it when I younger, now needed my help with his rental agreement each year.
I've know in my head that roles get reversed as your parents age. For me, it's hard to realize that it's really happening. I'm not just reading about it. I'm living it! I would really rather live in denial a little longer. :) just being honest! It's hard to be the authority figure in your family. To have both generations looking for guidance. It's a lot sometimes! Who can I look to because I don't know it all? Who can I cling to? Who will protect me and comfort me? I know ...that's a lot of me's and a lot of whinning!!
The person I look to for guidance is always there day or night. He knows my heart. To be honest, I'm not that strong. I'm not that wise. I've shed tears of selfishness because of the 'why me's??" And, said several times, "I'm not ready." But, God is strong and wise. Through Him, I have the grace to make it another day. Only with Him, can I be the daughter and mother that I am supposed to be.
"O God, from my youth you have taught me,
and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
So even to old age and gray hairs,
O God, do not forsake me,
until I proclaim your might to another generation,
your power to all those to come.
Your righteousness, O God,
reaches the high heavens."
Psalm 71:17-19
1 comment:
I think about this all the time. My parents have always been the caretakers. Running all over town helping kids, grandkids, church members, etc. They are turning 76 this year and it's getting harder for them to go as much, take care of the yard, and other things. It makes me sad and it makes me worry. But...there's a time and purpose for everything right? It's our turn to take care of them.
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