Journey With Jen

I've learned that wishing doesn't change things. Wishing does not cure cancer. Wishing does not fix heart problems. Nor does it cure Autism. Wishing doesn't make your problems go away. But, I believe that wishing is still good for you. It is still needed. Wishing and dreaming are both products of HOPE. Hope is what we need to make it through the difficulties. Hope is what keeps us going step by step through it. Hope is why we keep looking up ~ looking for the horizon. Believing that God will pull us through... maybe not today or tomorrow.. but God will provide our needs. So, today, I am wishing...and dreaming...and hoping. Today my faith will carry me through another day.

Right now, I am learning to accept God's plan. Although right now, His plan isn't looking all that great. I know His plans are for the long term. Mine are for the right now. God did give us a place to live. We went to look at a duplex Saturday morning. And as God would do it, Kent grew up with his kids and has know this person his whole life basically. So, we even got the key so we could move this weekend. I am SO exhausted physically and mentally. The idea of having no place for my kids to come home to is scary. Then, learning to accept what your given is difficult sometimes. So, now we are mostly moved in. We have a few things to finish up. It is smaller than the nicer place we found and almost moved in to. It also has paneling in the living room. And, it has a tiny ~ almost no existent ~ kitchen. But, I believe this is where God wants us right now... for some reason. (what's the chance of knowing some one and getting the key the same day?? that's a God thing!) Yes, a...

I know that God doesn't send troubles or cause the stuff in our lives. But, I do know that everything that happens to us passes over God's desk figuratively. It gets stamped "ok" sorta speaking. I guess that is why it is so hard to accept sometimes. Because as much as I pray for help and want out of the situation ~ I am still here. As much as I try to get out of it, I keep falling down. God helps those that help themselves right? So, I look around trying to figure out what, if anything, am I supposed to learn from this?? I gotta be at this point in my life for some reason. Maybe it is because I wasn't at rock bottom before. I always saw a glimpse of the light before. I could see the end. Who knew that it wasn't the end that I was seeing because another mountain was ahead! Who knew these struggles would last on and off for years now? Well, God did but I had no clue. While other families are planning vacations and starting to buy for Christmas, we are wondering ...

What I am going through today: it's not about just me. It is SO much bigger than me. I am just a small piece in the puzzle of life. I'm not even a corner piece holding things together. Just a little piece off to side. But ~ to God ~ I am important. To God ~ My JOYS multiply. To God ~ My TEARS matter. To God ~ My PURPOSE is known. You see, my life is bigger than me. Like a child, I look to my Father in Heaven for help and guidance. What I am realizing is, how other's eyes are watching me. My children's eyes watch how I deal with stress, anger, and disappointment. Not only them, but other's as well. Family. Friends. What do they see? Do they see my faith daily in my actions and words? Do they see me praising God through the storms? Or always wishing things were different? The trials of this life are bigger than you and I. We are just a small piece in God's puzzle of life. God picture would be incomplete without us. He loves us and we are important. But, we are jus...

We are starting a new series in Sunday School about relationships. Reading through this weeks verses (Ruth) really made me think about what are we looking for in relationships. I believe that it boils down to acceptance and trust. That is what I am looking for as I am searching. They don't have to love me or even like me really. Just accept me ~ warts and all. I don't pretend to be something that I am not. This is it. And, if we are to move past that stage of our relationship, we must have trust. We must trust one another to truly be there for one another. In those moments, in the middle of the mess of life, to have those you trust around you. Isn't that what we are looking for? And, once there is acceptance and trust ~ love for one another follows. I was trying to find a different verse that talks about this. Most of the time John 13:34 is mentioned: " A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. " Which is a gr...

"Life is a broken road. For some the road becomes too much to bear. The constant jarring and unexpected turns drain their souls. They give up somewhere along the way. The give up on love, they give up on their futures, they give up on God. But know this: It's God's road for your life. You don't walk alone. The Christ walks with you." Palmer Chinchen, PhD That is so true. We have all known people who gave up some where along the way. Even those who you visited with at church on Sunday ~ then, went missing for the next few weeks. Those who come every once in a while as they drift farther and farther away. Until it is easier not to come at all. Maybe their journey got too hard. Maybe they became more like the world...loved more of the world...than those things of God. For everyone has a different story and face a different circumstances. It is not for me to know. Yet, there is one thing that is true. You don't walk alone. It does not matter where you are right no...

"This world is not my home I'm just a passin' through My treasures are laid up Somewhere beyond the blue..." Do you remember this hymn? I haven't sung it in a long time, but it's been stuck in my head lately. Maybe it is because this world is feeling more and more not home. Of course, you tend to feel more like this as trials hit closer to home. It's easier to just keep going when there isn't any bumps in the road. Lately, there have been bumps. Major bumps. I just keep thinking this will be the end of it. Surely that light at the end of the tunnel is just ahead. The fog will be melted away by the suns rays. Any of those imagery you want to insert here. :) Then, something else happens. You see ~ I am one of those boring people by nature. I have always wanted a home to have family and friends come over often. (Not the nowadays often, but the come over and play some domino's or cards on Fridays kinda' often. Were our kids are raised together.) Al...

"For you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:7-8 Isn't that beautiful? I do love Psalms. In the shadow of His wings. What does that tell you? It tells me that He will protect us. Like a stranger in a strange land, we can curl up in a ball ~ we can hide behind Him. This world is not meant for us. Once you start feeling more and more at home here ~ that is when you are getting farther and farther from God. This world brings does bring joy and friendship. It also brings hardship and sadness. Times when I just don't understand why at all. (I know..I know...I'm not supposed to know why, we already discussed that! LOL) But, the human side of me still asks that question. Why do children have to suffer with disease? Why do wonderful women have trouble conceiving? Or mothers have to go through the pain of a miscarriage? Why does cancer have to effect so many people? Why does ...

Kinda blunt and to the point, huh? Some one posted this on Facebook and I actually kinda like it. Well, maybe "like" is not the right word. I understand it. One of those things where I've been there ~ done that. There are several people through the years that I've cared about. I've given them pieces of me. . . of my heart. And, afterwards, found out that they never really wanted it to begin with. Haven't we all done that? My brother is a good example. Sad, isn't it? That the first one that pops in my head after reading that, would be a relative. If he wanted to be a part of my life, my children's lives, he has had opportunities. But, I can't give up that hope that something will change his mind and his heart. I still send him invites for the holidays and cook outs. I've baked a basket full of cookies and bread every year for Christmas for several years now. Looking honestly though, it has been two years since I've seen him... and we live in...