Question of Sanity

At this moment in my life, I have two teenage boys.  Both will be going to junior high next month.  Both are about to drive me crazy.  I try to remember a sweeter day.  When they were younger...pulling each other's hair...fighting over hot wheels...watching Bob the Builder together.  Those days when they would be mad at each other for a moment and laying beside each other watching Robin Hood the next.  I loved my summers with them.  Doing arts and crafts.  Cooking in the kitchen.  Even doing classwork during the summer. 

Aren't they cute?  I couldn't find one of when they were really small on the computer, but they were even cuter.  :)  Then, they had to grow up.  Seriously.  Those that willing get up in the morning and go to a school that has teenagers ~ must be clinical.   I remember the junior high age as being kind of rough for a girl.  Now I know what the mother's go through.  I think it's worse!!  I want the terrible two's again!!! 

I know that teenagers are hard for everyone.  But honestly ~ when you have one with a disability ~ it multiplies it.  All they see is how their brother gets away with things that they can't.  The big picture, the empathy, all that disappears.  All of a sudden, it is back to the terrible two's saying, "it's not fair!"  You know what?  It's not fair!  It's not fair that Luke has to try twice or three times as hard at school than everyone else.  It's not fair that kids won't give him a chance and he doesn't have friends.  It's not fair that Luke can't express his emotions like everyone else.  There's a lot of things that is not fair.  I will step down from my soap box.  I am just tired tonight and hearing a perfectly capable person whine about things not fair again.  I know seeing the big picture is hard.  I just want him to get it...to see it.  A lot to ask when many times I can't see the picture either.  Being the mother of two teenagers is the hardest thing thus far.

For those mothers reading this and who had gone through this already....bless you!  For those with little ones or pre-teens...your time is coming!  For me right now....I am just going to pray for God to help me through this since killing is against His commandments! And, the scary part is that my daughter is just a few years behind my boys.  I can do this!  I can do this!

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch

out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand

delivers me. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love,

O Lord, endures forever" Psalm 138:7-8

All of us have a purpose to fulfill.  I know that moments likes these are part of mine.  God will walk us through them all with a loving hand.

Don't be a stalker, Be a Participant!

"What I like about Jesus' message is that we don't need to study Him anymore to know Him.  That's what the religious people at the time were promoting.  Collecting information about someone is not the same as knowing a person.  Stalkers are ordinary people who study from afar the people they're too afraid to really know.  Jesus said that unless you know Him like a child you'll never really know Him at all.  Kids don't care about facts, and they certainly don't study each other.  They're just with each other; they do stuff together.  That's what Jesus had in mind."  Love Does by Bob Goff

Something to think about, isn't it?  There are a lot of people out there today that know the Bible.  They can recite God's word better than I ever will.  They can pray elaborate prayers with beautiful words.   But, memorizing words is not the same as knowing God.  Going to church on Sunday doesn't mean that you have a strong relationship with God either.

God doesn't just want "believers."   Even the devil believes.  God wants "participants."  Our Faith is supposed to mean something.  Our Faith needs to be engaging.  The only way for that to happen is to walk with God.

Yeah, I know, we've all heard that before.  Even non-Christian's have heard that. There are books about.  Paintings about it.  But, the question is...do you practice it?  When you are in the car alone ~ do you realize God's right there beside you and take advantage of it?  God is with me where ever I go.  If I'm in the kitchen chopping veggies, I'm talking to God about my kids or things I'm worried about.  If I'm making a basket for new people at church, I am asking God to bless them and pray they feel the love I've put in.  Sometimes the quietest time I have is in the shower.  What better time to talk to God and honestly bear your troubles? 

So, don't be a stalker.  Don't just know the facts of God.  Don't fake it with beautiful words and flowery language.  Know Him as child knows his Father.  He is waiting with open arms.

"Give thanks to the Lord of lords,
for his steadfast love endures forever;

To him who alone does great wonders,
for his steadfast love endures forever;

With a strong hand and an outstretched arm,
for his steadfast love endures forever..."

Psalm 136:3-4, 12

Faking Chrisitianity

"...when we meet people who have been fed the fake stuff about who God is and what He's about, its not surprising that they have a little indigestion  So we can either spend our time talking about wrappers or we can show them what God is really made of.  We can show them that God is full of love and the source of hope and every creative idea.  People don't want to be told that their experiences were wrong or that their wrapper or someone else's wrapper is made of the wrong stuff.  Instead, we get to be the ones to show them real love from a real God."    Love Does by Bob Goff (pg 98)

We all know people who have turned away from God and church.  They see the evangelist on t.v. promising wealth or cancer cures for money.  They see priests involved in sex scandals.  They see idiots out there picketing funerals.  They see you and me going out to eat after church, then being rude to the waitress.  They see us not taking time to help or even listen to one another.

Honestly, Christianity is easy to fake.  Let's put a fish on my car or wear a cross necklace.  Show up to church, but no one knows I'm making a grocery list while I'm listening.  Or, hey, the preacher won't know that I'm really playing Scrabble on my phone, will he?  Faking it.  Making us all shiny on the outside is easy.

But, what good does that do? 

The identity we are stealing is God's. Christ-ian.  Christ-like.   We are just making God look bad.  Do you have friends or family that you would never guess go to church?  Those people when you ask what they did over the weekend and they mention church ~ your shocked.  Or looking in the mirror ~ Monday through Friday, does anyone know that you have been to church?  Can anyone tell that you have a relationship with God?

It's time when we show the world God through us. God is love. 

And Love is a Verb.

Dreaming A Bit...

It is amazing how God has a plan and once He sets things in motion....once He says that it is time and not you...things fall into place.  We have been so excited about the house!  Finishing up paperwork.  We did another walk through/inspection.  We were looking for cracks, mold, something!  Yes, I know, some people might say we should have hired someone professional.  But, my thought ~  God has worked it out for us.  Kent and I both feel this is the home God had picked for us.  We walked in and it felt like home.  Our offer got accepted even though there were two put in. Papers went through easier than I imagined.  Oh, our place we are renting ~ contract doesn't expire until November.  Kent was a bit worried about making rent payments and mortgage payments.  I broke down and told her we have an offer accepted on a house.  She said congratulations and told us to put a sign out for her.  Not threats or mentioning the contract.  Just one more rent payment (August) and we are done!  So, I figure if there is something lurking in the home that we'll have to fix ...God has that covered too.

So, for now, we are pinching pennies and looking forward...and a bit of dreaming.  It drives my husband crazy, I know.  I've been looking at Lowe's and Home Depot.  Paint colors!  Flooring!Ceiling fans! Chandeliers! So many options!  :)  I can see certain things already in my head.  Okay, okay...certain things besides the other things that normally run through my head!  Mainly what comes in my head, besides giving those white walls some color, is having family and friends gathered there.  So many people have homes but don't make the time to have people over.  My home, my blessings are for me to share.

I am trying to figure out where I can put extra people to spend the night with us.  (yes, I do realize that we haven't even moved one box in.  It's part of that thinking ahead thing that can drive my husband crazy!  Anyway ~ )  Faith wants to keep her bunk bed.  That way when we have company, she can move up to the top bunk and there's a full size bed on the bottom empty.  Luke is going to have a full size bed as well.  And, one day in the future, Joey will have a full or queen size bed.  Then, with their twin beds I'll get a wood daybed and trundle for a reading nook.  When we have company, the boys can have their beds back and we have two bedrooms ready for company.  :)  Yes, I've done some thinking on this!  Doesn't that sound wonderful though?  Enough room for friends and family to come and stay.  Sounds like home to me!  What a blessing!!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans

 to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

Answered Prayers

It has been difficult the past few months.  We've looked at lots and lots of houses just trying to find a place to call 'home.'  We have seen some new houses with small square footage.  And older ones that needed knocked down and started over! And everything inbetween!  We have put offers in at at least 3 houses over the past 6 months.  We have even switched realtors after the first two months.  We have gotten our hopes up....and let down.  Mainly, we have waited.  And waited.

Waiting for the one God has planned for us.  And ~ good news!  We finally have signatures on an offer!!  When we walked in, it felt like home.  Yes, when you look around, it did remind me on the 70's Show.  But, beyond the cosmetic, it's home!  This house is filled with love and warm memories. There are 4 bedrooms so each of my kids can have their own room.  We honestly didn't expect that.  Just shows that God provides beyond what we expect! :)  It is big enough to have holidays.  Which is what I've been looking for.  When I walked into a house, I thought about where could I put another dining room table.  It is so important to keep family and friends together. 

 But ~ remember how God uses us to answer some one's prayers?  My mother-in-law drove by the house with G.G. (grandma) to show her.  The owner came out and started talking with them.  She told them that she would like for us to stop by.  So, all five of us stopped by on Friday.  She was the sweetest little old lady.  Myrtle cried when she saw us.  She told us that it made her so happy meeting us and knowing that her home was going to larger family.  She was praying the right family would come along. 

Myrtle is alone now.  Her daughter's in another state (which she is moving in with).  Her son and husband has passed away.  She just didn't know what she was going to do all of her things that she's collected for over 20 years.  We assured her that she could take what she wanted and leave the rest.  We could go through it and deal with it.  Myrtle is in her 80's and doesn't need to worry about it.  She cried again and told us that was an answer to another prayer.  I assured her that her home was an answer to our prayers.

All of those other houses...all of those times trying to get paperwork moving on a house....were just God making us wait for the right one.

Thank you Lord for hearing my heart and making us wait for Your timing. 

I pray that You will continue to help us with the details until we are all moved in.
Please be with us through this transition.  Bless our new home and may

You always be the center of our home and lives.

Month of Service: June

I know, I know....It's already July.  Always one step behind it seems like!  It's been so hot this month.  Yes, I do realize it's summer.  My husband reminds me of that.  But, when it says 100 degrees for weeks at a time ...honestly, I don't feel like doing much of anything.  Just being honest! ;D

But, we did get to help out this month.  First of  all, the FFA  (Future Farmer's of America) had a fishing tournament in June.  We helped out and grilled hot dogs that day.  okay...okay... I was under a shade tree for a lot of it!  Kent was out there grilling hot dogs.  Kids and I helped with the serving and clean up. 

It was soo hot!

Just recently, we volunteered a couple nights at the rodeo.  We were selling 'day' sheets with the riders information on it.  Our profits were going towards the youth fund at church.  The kids loved it!  They have never been to the rodeo.  After our selling was done, we were able to stay and enjoy the rodeo.  It just feels like July now! :)

church family with Faith and I

As the summer seems to be skipping by.  I'm trying to make it last and make some memories in between.  In the month of July, we will be volunteering at the Salvation Army.   And well, anywhere else that God puts us!