Journey With Jen

 Today has been one month since my kidney cancer surgery.  I'm doing pretty good.  My energy is still not there and if I do too much my cut muscle will hurt.  My 12 staples going across my side has come out.  Last Thursday was the first time I sneezed in a month.  I thought that was so weird.  But with the muscle getting cut and then being sewn together -- my diaphragm would not expand enough to let me sneeze.  I would would start to sneeze, but when I tried to get the big breath, my sneeze stopped.  Our bodies are weird aren't then?   Monday I start back to work.  I'm doing half days this first week back to see how it goes.  Doctor recommended 6-8 weeks off, but I'm trying to go back part time after 4 weeks.  Since I get tired, I am sure that I'll be coming home and taking a nap with my ice pack when I get home.  However, I am looking forward to seeing the kids and adults again.  I get my daily amount of hu...

A recent study that looks at cancer rates in the United States.  The study concluded that the cancer incidence rates of Gen X (born between 1965 - 1980) and Millennials (born 1981-1996) were 2 to 3 times higher than baby boomers (born 1946-1964).    Not only are they more likely to get cancer, but they are more likely to develop 17 types of cancer.  Okay -- that's crazy!! The researcher's said major contributing factors included environmental toxins, diet, and obesity.  But what has changed from 1955 to the 1980's? And even more so today?  Our diet.  Things were made from scratch.  Real ingredients.  Then, we had 2 income families, so frozen dinners took off.  Convivence food became a big part of our grocery stores.  Now, fast food is a part of our culture.  I work at a school. Those kids will eat pizza and chicken nuggets daily without thinking twice.  Our diets have changed so much and it allows toxins into our bodies da...

Wednesday was a week today since I left the hospital.  Friday it will be two weeks since my surgery.  I'm home and trying to get my strength back up.  The doctor was not kidding when he said that it is a very painful surgery.  But, I'm finally down to one pain pill a day.  The one pill is usually in the evenings.  It's one thing to have some pain or be uncomfortable during the day, but trying to sleep when your hurting is difficult.  I still get tired easily.  Yesterday I decided to make cookie dough and freeze it for Easter.  Between the breaks that I had to take, the two hour task ended up most of the day.  So, I can see why the doctors have told me not to rush back to work.  My body is still healing and it's a slow process. I had my PCP appointment yesterday.  What really surprised me was the many questions the nurse asked me about my mental state.  I love how they are looking at the whole body, not just the physical....

 So many times we just take what doctors tell us without questioning.  Or, when we do question, we just accept their answer as gold.  While, I really don't believe that doctors would intentionally lead us astray.  However, I am the best advocate for my kids and myself.  I've always just had to read books, articles, find doctors, and push, push, push for my kids and my husband.  This time - it's all about me.   I am just trying to figure out how some one in the mid-forties gets a cancer that doesn't usually hit some one until their sixties or seventies.   I don't fit any of the kidney cancer criteria.  Is there any connection to my other diagnosis?  What the heck is going on in my gut area??   I know that I can't fully prevent cancer.  One mutated cell going crazy and multiplying is all that it takes.  There have been plenty of health nuts that have gotten cancer.  Marathon runners. Professional athletes...

 Back in March, when I first went to the doctor, my goal was just to start taking care of me.  I went and got bloodwork.  Found out that I was diabetic and went to the dietitian appointment that happens when your diagnosed.  Protein, protein, protein is of course what is pushed.  I did it and just felt terrible.  I stayed the course for a while thinking my body would adjust. Then, like I always do when I want to figure out something -  I went to the library and checked out several books on diabetes.  I found only two books that went a different direction.  They suggested that a plant based diet regulates blood sugar better.  That your body can digest it so much easier that you don't get the spikes in sugar levels.   Now, don't get me wrong -- vegan I will never be.  But incorporating a few more vegetarian type meals, that I can do.  So I decided that for breakfast and lunch - it would be less meat.  Which meant t...

Thinking about what's coming ahead does tend to make me nervous.  The unknowns.  The what ifs.  All of the pieces that have to come together.  Insurance...time off...recovery time...It really was SO much easier when I was on the other side of the hospital bed.  I have always been the one on in the waiting chair beside the bed. It was always my job to worry about all of that and figure out how to pay the bills.  Now, I have to worry about that AND be in the hospital bed.  I keep praying for God to work out all of the details.  For His hands to be in everything -- All of the details.   I can then let it go...for a while.  But the worry comes creeping back in. The mind keeps going down every rabbit hole.  I have an EKG and heart scans coming up before surgery.  What if they find something?  The first CT scan I went in for was supposed to confirm a hernia.  Instead she called me and told me I needed to come in that d...

 I got asked about those other moments.  The ones you have to process through when the word Cancer gets connected to you.  My friend wanted to make sure that I'm processing everything and don't burst later.  I assured them that I am not ignoring those times.  Those hard moments are still there.  It's nothing I can choose to put it off to the side.  The "Why Me?" question pops sometimes up when I'm thinking too hard about it.  I think of everything that's happened in my life and I wonder why?  But I can answer that question pretty easily.  Why not me?  There have been far greater people who has gone through worse. Not to minimalize what I've gone through --  from childhood abuse to holding everything together for many years as my husband got worse and passed.  There is a lot of crap in my forty something years. But I am not any better than the next person, so why not me? But the "what if" question -- now that gets to me....