A Walk with God

I've learned that when ask God, "where are you leading me?" 

 ....that He'll actually answer.

When you tell God to "use me, use my family for Your purpose"

....that He will.

Sometimes, I am just not ready for the answer.

Those statements have been my prayer for a few months now.  I want more more us than running on that hamster wheel never getting anything done.  I realize that my oldest son will be 16 this year.  Did you read that?? 16!!!  I only have a few more years with him.  I want to instill so much before they go off on their own.  Yet, often times I am tired from the rat race of life.  Do I really have enough energy to add more to my plate??

I know that if God leads me there, that He will equip me for it.  That includes the energy to get it done, right??   Our church is in an exciting time of change.  Change for the good.  The breaking away of tradition just because of tradition.  And looking at what we, as God's church, need to really be doing.  That's an easy answer but hard to follow through.  Disciples making disciples.  That's our motto you could say.

Now, where do I fit in the picture?  If you know me, than you know I tend to stay with the small kids.  Kindergarten is totally my favorite grade!! :)  Right now, I co-teach a Sunday School class with that age group.  It is safe for me.  But, you tell God to use you and to lead you, it isn't usually to the safe nest your used to.

I honestly am not sure where He is leading me.  My heart is longing for....something....   I am not sure if it is going to a larger age group.  Or maybe a women's group.  Maybe a parenting group with the struggles of motherhood??  Please pray for me that God will reveal His will in my life.

Birthday Girl, Faith

It really is true how time flies.  My little six pound baby girl turned 11 this week.  My baby is no longer a baby.  :(   She is in her last year of elementary school, actually she only has about 4 months left.  Faith is ready.  (momma not so much)  She has always been ready to grow up.

She refused to nurse between 9 - 10 months.  She would only drink from a sippy cup.  I remember how I wasn't ready.  I wanted those last few months.  Faith was even walking before 12 months.  At her 1 year birthday party, she was walking between everyone like it was no big deal.  Even when she went to kindergarten, she didn't want me to walk her in.  (I did, of course, crying like all the other mother's walking out the door.)  The thought of middle school doesn't make her nervous at all.  She is  ready.  Faith is always ready to grow up before I  am ready to let go.

I've read all of those parenting books about how this is a good thing.  You want your child to be independent and secure.  You want them to be able to make their own choices.  You don't want your child to always cling to you and need your assurance.  You raise your child to be able to fly on their own.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I know.   I'm trying.   It's just still hard sometimes to let go.

But, when you do let go, what a beautiful thing!  She is able to be who she really is.  Not who we thought they would be.  And, who she is really is and what God is doing through her is more than I could have planned.  It is hard not to hover and cling, but it is worth it.  I am proud of the young girl she is becoming.

For instance, I always to the Valentine Class party.  The past couple years, I've been doing it with another classmate's mother.  Her son, "Daniel," has special needs.  Faith is very protective of him.   Daniel's mother told me that Faith is child she requests to be put with her son every year during the IEP conference.  That is why they have been in the same class since 1st or 2nd grade.  I am so proud of my baby.   My daughter makes a difference to him.  It makes me cry just thinking about it from both the point of view of a special needs mother and Faith's Mom.  Even during the party, Daniel was off by himself and Faith went over and got him so he could be in her group.  I didn't even notice but Daniel's mother did and almost cried when she told me.   She told me, "that is why I ask for Faith."  Which, of course, I cried because I understand her like no one else could.

Her compassion towards others is inspiring.  Such understanding especially from a young age.  Even her teacher told me at this last conference how much she appreciates that there is no drama with Faith.  None of the little bickering that girl's do.  She just walks away when her friends start and will go play with some one else.  She tries to be everyone's friend.  I love that even more than I love her straight A's! :)

I don't know what God's plans are for my little girl.  I know that her life is in His hands.  (there is not a better place to be!)  I like to think that I am doing something right in raising her as I see her independence and her compassion towards others.  But, I know that I cannot take credit for it.  It is the light of God shinning through her in those moments.  I am just blessed that she is my daughter.

Happy 11th Birthday Faith Kathleen!

Autism and IEP's

I cannot believe it's already mid-year.  Both of my boys are in junior high now.  Joey is finding his ninch.  He loves band.  He is also in yearbook this year.  Junior high has been good for him.  Then, well, there is Luke.  He struggles still. He is still trying to find his place.  Junior high has been a hard transition.  The first three weeks Luke's schedule was messed up.  It got changed four times!!  He is in a mix of "regular" classes as well as a few resource classes.  When I e-mailed his math teacher regarding the 'D' he had in her class, she assured me that Luke would be taking a test before semester grades that would raise his grade.  She never really understood that I didn't care about his grade (for the most part), I was concerned if the material was about his head.  I was concerned more about if he was learning the material, not about what he made on a test. 

This week was another IEP meeting for Luke.  I met the new assistant principal.  I also met Luke's speech therapist for the first time.  (yeah, I know...great parent communication right?  Not like elementary and middle school! I have not even received progress reports from speech!)  There was also one of his resource teachers as well as a 'normal' teacher. 

Every three years, they have to do a major evaluation of the student to see if they even need an IEP any longer.  There are different labels that a child can be served under with special needs.  Luke is served under the Speech/Language label.  Yes, if you read through the pages of his report, you will find that he has been diagnosed with autism.  But, three years ago, when we did this, we felt that autism is not the issue he has at school.  Luke's issue stems from language.  His meltdowns happen at home.  (thank goodness!)   Now, they are wanting to put that label out there for all to see.

I am not really sure how much they will fight me over this.  But, really, they don't know who they are messing with! :)   You might be wondering why this is a big deal.  When you get to junior high and high school, each teacher deals with a lot of kids.  Children with an IEP, the teachers get information on and of the big factors is the label which they are getting services.  I don't want a teacher who has 100 kids filtering in and out of their classes seeing the label "autism" and putting Luke in that box.  I have worked one-on-one with children autism.  There is a big difference between Luke's high functioning autism and those severe children.  When a person hears the word "autism," a kid like Luke is not what you picture.  I don't want Luke judged on a label and what others perceive.

I had to sign a bunch of papers during the meeting to give permission for testing.  (they do every three years)  The speech therapist seemed to be trying to tell me that Luke has more problems than just speech and language.  I am sure that I looked at her like she's an idiot and tell her that, "yes, I am aware of that.  It's in his paperwork if you actually read it before the meeting."  His paperwork talks about memory disorders and autism.  We took him to the Children's Hospital twice for testing.  I know it's in his paperwork!  Maybe if they actually read more than the first page, they would have found that out as well.

It just feels like they filter the kids through.   The care and concern just isn't there like in younger grades.  Luke's assistant principal in middle school would make a point to find him each day some where in the halls and ask Luke how's he doing.  This assistant principal seems a bit dense to me.  She just sat in her chair swinging back and forth.  No care, concern, or comments.  I guess that I will see what the tests results come up with.

Let me guess...oh what...Luke has language problems, memory disorder, as well as autism.  Yeah, thanks.  I already knew that and it's already in his paperwork.  :/  But considering his reading level is still about 3rd or 4th grade ~  I think that is where a lot of issues are.  It's very hard to read a high school science or history book when your reading level is that low.  Let's focus on that please!

^"For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to

 worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.  

 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God

 chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong."

 1 Corinthians 1:26-27

Isn't that beautiful?  We ALL have a purpose in God's plan.  It doesn't matter what label the world may give us, God made us just the way the are for a purpose.  Thank you, Lord, for bringing Luke into my life and teaching me so much.

Time Saver Menu Board Idea

This weekend, I finally finished my menu board.  I know that doesn't sound very excited reading that but let me share with you how really cool it is!! :)  I found the idea on Pinterest.  The link to here for the original.  This is what mine turned out like:

Let me kind of explain what you are looking at.  On the left are clothespins with Monday through Sunday on them.  On the right side are my card holders with weeks 1-2 and weeks 3-4 on them.  My husband gets paid every two weeks, so that is why I separated the month that way. (that is when I go grocery shopping)

The first thing I had to do was to figure out a month's worth of menus.  I, personally, try not to repeat my menus for the month.  That may sound a bit intimidating.  Just break it down into small steps.  For example, for my own family I try to have an Italian dish once a week.  We also have an Asian menu and Mexican once a week.  I have soup once a week as well.  So, looking at a month's worth, I need four different soups, Asian dishes, Mexican dishes, and Italian dishes; as well as throwing in some American ones as well.

 

Needs some suggestions?  For our Mexican dishes, I have taco salads, enchiladas, Mexican chicken, and tacos.  One for each week of the month.   Soups?  I have potato soup, chicken and dumplings, taco soup, and chili or beef stew.  I also have fish twice a month.  (once during weeks 1-2 and once at the end of the month)  My side items change that go along with the fish, so it becomes a different meal.   Twice a month, we also have brunch for dinner.  One week it will be eggs, bacon, and french toast.  The next time, it will be eggs, sausage, and pancakes or waffles.   I also laminated a few blank cards for new recipes that I may want to try. I also have a card in each color that say's, "Holiday Menu."  Because I know my plans change for the holidays and I want my board to be flexible like that! :)

Once I got the menu figure out, I got out my recipes out and wrote down all of the ingredients for the menus.  I wrote those down on some of same colored paper as my cards.  For example,  on weeks 3-4, I need eight pounds of ground turkey.  That might sound like a lot, but that is for two weeks worth.  I put a hole in the corner of my ingredient lists, connected them, and hung them under my menu board.  So, when it is time to go to the grocery store, I have my base list.  Then I only have to add the other things like paper towels, TP, and oil.

I am really excited about the time I'll be saving trying to figure out what to cook.  As well as cutting down my trips to the grocery store.  With a family of five, I need to cut back where I can.  Hope this inspires you to make your own board. Let me know what you think!! :)

Just another Autistic Day

Before church on Wednesday, we stopped at Wendy's.  While I was in line waiting, I looked around and notice some people in front of me with Special Olympics backpacks on.  I look behind to figure out where my children were and make sure they were not doing anything.  I see a few older children that are participants.  My heart just breaks for not only the children but the families represented there.  I know that God has a plan for each and every one of us.  It's just hard to remember that some times.

So, the Special Olympics group were ordering large quantities and we needed to go.  The wait was too long unless we wanted to be late to church.  We get into the car and my oldest is in the front says something like, "I'm glad we left.  I don't know what to do around special kids."  (He loves old people and kids just nervous around special needs kids.)  I trying not to cry while driving because special needs children tend to get me emotional.  I go into a spill about how blessed we are.  That we don't know what God's going to give us.  Then without thinking, I said, "you think that Luke is bad sometimes, autism is nothing compared to what he could have."  Luke, sitting in the back seat listening, jumps in and says, "Hey!! Hello?  I'm in the backseat!!"

You've probably forgotten what they even look like.  I realized I haven't put any pictures up in a long time.  My kids have grown so much!  Both of my boys are taller than me.  :(

Christmas time with my family.

from left to right:  Shailyn & my nephew, Phillip.

Summer (my niece), Joey (in red), Cara (my niece),

Luke (in navy), and Faith (in front)

My littlest niece wasn't in the picture, but here's

Abby at her 8th birthday party in January.  :)

 Autism, well, it is just a part of our family.  It's just another day.  I am thankful for moments where we can laugh at it.  (even Luke thought it was funny)  Because there are so numerous other moments where laughter is the farthest thing from my mind!!  It does drive us crazy at times.  God has a wonderful plan that I get to be a part of.  I am still learning because Luke has changed as he has grown.  His autism has changed so I am going to start doing more research to see what I can do to help.  He's worth all of the effort.