Let go and let God have control. We all have heard this time and time again. And, hopefully, we have all been to a point in our lives where we have to let go. We get pushed to the point when our hands fly off the steering wheel of our lives and we brace for impact. Hand it over to God.
Yet, sometimes it is so hard to do. We want to fix it. Especially when it comes to family. All of those buttons get pushed and we go into the try anything until it works mode. Yes, I'm speaking from experience. My brother comes to mind. Him and his wife live in the same town that I do. We live about 10 minutes away from one another. Sounds great so far, right? It gets worse from there. I haven't seen him since my Dad's funeral in 2009. He wouldn't even show up in the spring of 2010 when we did his ashes. Before that, it had been four or fives years since I'd seen him. I've tried to fix it on my own. Inviting him over for bar-b-ques and holidays. Writing him letters. Sending him pictures of my kids thinking he might actually want to be an uncle to them. Praying for God to open his heart. To change his heart. This has been going on for years.
You know what I realize now though? I never really did take my hands off the wheel. I always, somehow, included me in the 'fix it' part. I always put me in the equation. I know in the deepest part of me that I have done nothing to deserve this. So then I need to consider something else. Maybe this isn't even about me. (light bulb moment!) It's about him. I can't make it all better. There isn't any magic wand that I have which can undo our childhood. Just because God has given me the strength to heal, move on, and still talk about it ~ doesn't mean that my brother is there yet. Just because he is my big brother ~ doesn't mean he is as far on his path of healing as I am. Maybe I have been looking at it wrong this whole time. Maybe I need to stop asking God to open and change his heart but just to heal it. Who do you need to let go and just place in God's hands?
Yet, sometimes it is so hard to do. We want to fix it. Especially when it comes to family. All of those buttons get pushed and we go into the try anything until it works mode. Yes, I'm speaking from experience. My brother comes to mind. Him and his wife live in the same town that I do. We live about 10 minutes away from one another. Sounds great so far, right? It gets worse from there. I haven't seen him since my Dad's funeral in 2009. He wouldn't even show up in the spring of 2010 when we did his ashes. Before that, it had been four or fives years since I'd seen him. I've tried to fix it on my own. Inviting him over for bar-b-ques and holidays. Writing him letters. Sending him pictures of my kids thinking he might actually want to be an uncle to them. Praying for God to open his heart. To change his heart. This has been going on for years.
You know what I realize now though? I never really did take my hands off the wheel. I always, somehow, included me in the 'fix it' part. I always put me in the equation. I know in the deepest part of me that I have done nothing to deserve this. So then I need to consider something else. Maybe this isn't even about me. (light bulb moment!) It's about him. I can't make it all better. There isn't any magic wand that I have which can undo our childhood. Just because God has given me the strength to heal, move on, and still talk about it ~ doesn't mean that my brother is there yet. Just because he is my big brother ~ doesn't mean he is as far on his path of healing as I am. Maybe I have been looking at it wrong this whole time. Maybe I need to stop asking God to open and change his heart but just to heal it. Who do you need to let go and just place in God's hands?
“Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you
shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give,
and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken
together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with
the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:37-38
1 comment:
Gosh-I have learned that proximity does not = closeness. I have frustrating/disappointing family too.
We don't get to choose them, and they get to live their lives the way they want. Just pray that God's will is realized, not our will.
It's not about us.
Ok, don't judge, don't judge, don't judge. ; ) Taking notes, Jen!
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