Mercy

Every morning when the alarm goes off. I reach over and turn it off and lay there in the quietness. Each day I awaken with a short, heartfelt prayer in my heart and on my lips.

Just be with me today, Lord. Protect my family. Help me to do Your will.

And lately, I've asked for His mercy. It really is a hard thing to ask for. It's like one of those things you only pull out in extreme emergencies. The last time I asked for mercy was when Kent had heart surgery this year. Before that, it was watching my Dad suffer from cancer the year before. Maybe it's only me, but I don't think so. I like to think that I can handle what ever happens in life. Does that sound familiar? That God can give it to me and I can make it. I'll some how be able to turn the lemons into lemonade. Maybe that attitude is what has gotten me into trouble. Maybe that is why my life has had so much stuff to handle...and forgive...and to heal...and to let go...

God uses us, you and me, to give His mercy to others. Just as God has used others to help us right now. That is why there are groceries in the fridge. Mercy. It is so hard to accept but needed so much. I have three kids looking up to me to have the answers. Kids are smarter than you like to think. They know if the fridge is empty and Mom's not going to the store ~ it is because we can't. They know we don't have cable or Internet yet because we have to get caught up on somethings. They know they are sharing a room because it's necessary right now. I know in my heart they are the only reason I've removed the mask... allowing others to know what is going on. If it was just Kent and I, we'd walk if we had to and eat roman noodles everyday.

God is changing all of us. Asking for help ~ I'm still not very good at. Accepting help when it's offered ~ getting better at. Yes, I like being on the other side of mercy. I like to be the person extending help. Doesn't everyone? I get that joy in my heart knowing I was there when it mattered or I helped in someway. But, to be the person needing help is hard. I feel like a charity case and I don't like it at all. So, yes, I know...still work to do in this heart. Maybe I need to work on grace? :)

We did get some good news! :) We applied for the Smile of a Lifetime Scholarship for Joey to get braces several months ago. And ~ yes, you guessed it ~ Joey got accepted! He will be starting his braces at the end of the month. Plus, the first of December, Joey will be going to Washington, D.C. with the Colonial Williamsburg Trip. He will be gone for 9 days with kids from Arkansas, Kansas, and Missouri. He is SO excited about both!!

"For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him."
Psalm 103:11