Finding JOY ...

"Whatever challenges you may face, whatever circumstances are weighing you down, you can choose your response. How you life your life is totally up to you. It's not dependent on your circumstances. It's dependent on your choices. Abraham Lincoln said, 'Most people are as happy as they've decided to be.'" Joel Osteen, Every Day A Friday.

I have just begun this book and this is one of the paragraph's in the first chapter. It is true though. Our praise should not depend on our circumstances. Circumstances change for better or worse. It takes us many times to places we don't understand. So often, the sound of our praise becomes silent when it needs to be the loudest.

"The enemy always fights you the hardest when he knows God has something great in store for you. You are closest to your victory when it is the darkest. That is the enemy's final stand. Don't be discouraged. Don't start complaining. Just keep offering up that sacrifice of praise." Joel Osteen, Every Day A Friday

I know that I feel convicted about this. My praises have still been there these past months. But ~ not always loud...not always felt deep in my soul...sometimes just going through the motions. That is not what JOY and PRAISE are supposed to be. In those moments, that is when the enemy is winning. In those moments of defeat and pity, the enemy has me right where he wants me.

That is when I should be praising the loudest. The joy will fill our soul as you are thanking God for what He has done in your life... The doors He is preparing to open... And the blessings He has planned for YOU. It is hard to stay in the pit of darkness and dispair when you are looking at all God has done and will do. Joy is a choice. Faith becomes stronger and the enemy cannot win.

"...he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of dispair. For the Lord has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory." Isaiah 61:3 (NLT)

But in the King James version, it reads, "the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;"

Praise is the answer for our darkest moments. With praise, joy will come into our hearts and lift our heads toward God again. To set our eyes on the things, not on this world with it's problems, but of the promise of God.

My Refuge

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah." Psalm 46:1-3

It is amazing how God can give you the words that you need when you need them most. I love Psalm's. I am here once again looking through the Bible and this verse is there. One that I have read many times but one that speaks to me tonight.

Don't fear...don't worry...God has it under control. It doesn't matter what is going on in your life, God knows. It could be the kids are driving you nuts. Or maybe you are trying to say good-bye to loved one that is about to be with Jesus. Or stress from the holidays. Or too many things on your to-do list and not enough of you to go around. We all have been there. I have been there. You are not alone.

God is our Father that no human could ever be. He will be there when you cry out, day or night. He will never lose His patience. His arms will always be open. The love of our Father is eternal and over-flowing.

"For how great is His goodness, and how great is His beauty!" Zechariah 10:17

Mercy

Every morning when the alarm goes off. I reach over and turn it off and lay there in the quietness. Each day I awaken with a short, heartfelt prayer in my heart and on my lips.

Just be with me today, Lord. Protect my family. Help me to do Your will.

And lately, I've asked for His mercy. It really is a hard thing to ask for. It's like one of those things you only pull out in extreme emergencies. The last time I asked for mercy was when Kent had heart surgery this year. Before that, it was watching my Dad suffer from cancer the year before. Maybe it's only me, but I don't think so. I like to think that I can handle what ever happens in life. Does that sound familiar? That God can give it to me and I can make it. I'll some how be able to turn the lemons into lemonade. Maybe that attitude is what has gotten me into trouble. Maybe that is why my life has had so much stuff to handle...and forgive...and to heal...and to let go...

God uses us, you and me, to give His mercy to others. Just as God has used others to help us right now. That is why there are groceries in the fridge. Mercy. It is so hard to accept but needed so much. I have three kids looking up to me to have the answers. Kids are smarter than you like to think. They know if the fridge is empty and Mom's not going to the store ~ it is because we can't. They know we don't have cable or Internet yet because we have to get caught up on somethings. They know they are sharing a room because it's necessary right now. I know in my heart they are the only reason I've removed the mask... allowing others to know what is going on. If it was just Kent and I, we'd walk if we had to and eat roman noodles everyday.

God is changing all of us. Asking for help ~ I'm still not very good at. Accepting help when it's offered ~ getting better at. Yes, I like being on the other side of mercy. I like to be the person extending help. Doesn't everyone? I get that joy in my heart knowing I was there when it mattered or I helped in someway. But, to be the person needing help is hard. I feel like a charity case and I don't like it at all. So, yes, I know...still work to do in this heart. Maybe I need to work on grace? :)

We did get some good news! :) We applied for the Smile of a Lifetime Scholarship for Joey to get braces several months ago. And ~ yes, you guessed it ~ Joey got accepted! He will be starting his braces at the end of the month. Plus, the first of December, Joey will be going to Washington, D.C. with the Colonial Williamsburg Trip. He will be gone for 9 days with kids from Arkansas, Kansas, and Missouri. He is SO excited about both!!

"For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him."
Psalm 103:11

Life Unmasked: Pride

Pride is constant part of humanity, from Adam and Eve to today. Human culture is full of pride. In our family. In our home. In our jobs. In our clothes. In the car we drive. Pride is always there sitting in the back of everyday life affecting out decisions daily.

What happens when it is stripped away? What happens when our pride is put aside? I am getting there. Peeling pride away layer by layer. Pride has no place right now in our lives. Pride disappears when your car is towed away because your husband's hours were cut down to 32 for 2 months and health insurance is $800 month. Pride cannot be there when you look in the refrigerator and there's a half a carton of eggs and a couple cups of milk left. And no payday for another week. Pride disappears when the only car you are left with has front bearing and transmission problems. (Friday's news - it gets worse before it gets better, right??) Pride disappears when your son is doing breathing treatments nightly because his asthma is acting up since we moved. (to a place built in 1970's) Pride disappears when there is 6 weeks until Christmas and only a couple paychecks. Pride disappears when you get on your knees asking for God's mercy.

That's where we are at right now. Sometimes it is not only day by day but moment by moment. We are living on grace. We are leaning on God. We are praying for more, but trying to accept where we are at. Our pride is gone. And, for once, I am being honest when people ask. Those simple, 'how are you doing?' questions ~ I tell them that we could use their prayers. And you know what is sad? The response I get is usually something about them having to cut back a little. They don't go out to eat as much. Or their vacation will be closer to home. I want to cry, 'I just want to buy groceries for my family!!' But, I just nod and try to look sympathetic. At one time, I didn't get it either. I thought I did. I thought I understood what it was like to need help. It was cutting back a little here or there. But, I was just kidding myself. I know what it's like now. I know what it's like to go back to the basics of flour and a couple eggs to figure out supper because that is what is in the house. And, I am thankful that I have learned to cook and to pray!

I know that God is working. I know that He is here in the mist of my mess not looking down at me. God is here as the tears roll down my cheeks wiping them away. God hears my prayers when they are not words but sounds. God is here as my children watch my faith never waiver even through the trials. God is there with each beautiful sunset that gives me peace because we made it through another day. God is there as I hug my kids because they give me strength when I need it most. God is there when a sweet toddler runs to me and yells my name at church. Yes, as I look around the paneling on my walls, I realize that God is right here with me. And ~ we'll make it, with God's grace. We will come out on the other side better people for going through this. My human side just wishes the other side would come tommorrow.

"Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust." Psalm 16:1