Daily Dose of Autism

It's one of those things that are just a part of our daily life. Yeah, there are times when you just want to scream! Times I want to cry.

then... I do! I do scream. I do cry. To God. He hears me. Even the words that I do not say.

Luke amazes me honestly. I have a small understand of how hard it is for him just to function at such a high level. It takes so much for him to make it at school daily. The minute he gets into the van, I can tell what kind of day he's had. There is not pretending the day went well for a child with autism. If it sucked ~ than, it sucked! If the day was okay or good ~ you'll know that too.

Today, well, it was one of those days where I just look at him and wonder what the future will hold. I wonder what God's plans are for my beautiful little boy. Luke has learned to control so much as he has grown and matured. When he was younger, he'd lay flat on the floor and have meltdowns...very loud meltdowns!! Those don't happen much anymore. They do pop up once in a while when he is tired and cranky. Luke has gotten better about actually looking at people in the eyes. It's still hard for him and not consistent, but so much better. Most of his little quirks, he does at home where he feels safe. It's been a long journey, but over all, he's doing better.

He has a social studies test tomorrow and he studied so hard tonight. Science & social studies is so hard for him. Those sixth grade text books are not even written on a sixth grade level. Did you know that? If you analyze the word content and such, it's about an eighth grade level. That is a big stretch for a boy that's reading maybe a third or fourth grade level! :( But, Luke tries. He tries so hard. It's hard to know your different and know that it's so much harder for you ~ and try to stay positive. Somehow, Luke does. I know that's God hand in his life and I pray for that to continue. He inspires me! What a blessing through it all!

Legacy

I was sitting with Grandma playing a game of rummy. She was talking of the past. When she was smaller. When she newly married about her in laws. When the kids were little. Of family that has gone on before. There were happy tears at times. She spoke of what she wanted to be remembered for. I found this quote some where:

"The victory of a life well lived is
measured purely by love you
have created for yourself and others."

It makes me stop and think, what is it that I want to be remembered for? Luckily for me, having a house in perfect order at all times is not one that tops the list! :) I want to be remembered as a woman of faith. A good mom and wife. A person that loves her family. And ~ just happens to be able to cook pretty good too! :) A woman willing to help others that has compassion. To be remembered like that, means that I have to be living like that right now. I also know that a good meter to measure how you living is your kids. What are they learning by your example?

My kids have a lot of compassion. Not always for each other, but I'm hoping that will change as they grow older and mature! LOL Joey has such a heart for the elderly and he respects the past and history. Luke loves animals. His heart is for any dog or animal walking around. Faith, her compassion is filled for those special kids that need a little help. Maybe, just maybe ~ they have learned some compassion from home. Do they know how much I rely on God? Do they know how much I lean on Him? That's harder for me because those times are spent with just God and I. I know they've heard me say several times that we'll make it through with God's help. And we pray together as a family. They see me reading books about God and know that I write about God. So, maybe they are picking up on some of it. My legacy of tomorrow begins today.

"The character of your children tomorrow depends on what you

put into their hearts today."

His Grace is Sufficient

"Three times I pleaded with my Lord to take it away from me. But He said

to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in

weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness,

so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ sake, I

delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecution, in difficulties.

For when I am weak, I am strong." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

What a wonderful scripture to hold your life up to! I'm not sure that 'delight' is the word that I think of when I go through hardships and difficulties. However, I do understand the meaning. When I am weak ~ then it gives opportunity for God to be strong. It gives me the chance to show by example the love of Christ inside of me. The Faith inside. The Peace inside. Throughout the chaos this world will bring, Christ pours out His grace. One of my favorite verses is Philippians 4:13:

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Isn't that so true? I would not have made it this far without the strength of Christ or without the hope that He brings. Are there trials that are in your life right now? Sometimes they are small and insignificant. There are times when they are life changing. I pray that what ever circumstance you find yourself in right now, that you have the Grace and Hope that only Christ can provide.

The Shoe Doesn't Fit

Even before you hold your precious, beautiful baby ~ there are dreams. Dreams of the future. Maybe he'll be a baseball star. Or the star quarterback. Maybe she'll become a dancer. Or a writer. As you decorate the nursery and pick out a stroller, these dreams form. What happens when the beautiful baby grows and has their own opinions and dreams? What if instead of being the quarterback, your given a boy that doesn't even like sports? Or a girl that likes to play in the mud? What happens if your faced with ADD or autism? What happens when our dreams as parents does not match our reality? Do you try to force your opinions on them? Maybe make 'suggestions' all the time, but in reality just telling what to do? Seriously, if your parents told you that your going to like it ~ do you think you would have? I know that I would have went the other direction. (In fact, my mom would never let me color my hair. When I turned 18, not only did I color my hair ~ I picked out black. It was terrible!! I looked like Snow White! LOL) As parents, we must let our crib dreams go. We have to embrace our children as they are. Where they are. We must make new dreams with our children for our children! After all, it's about them! :) Look at things from their perspective. Imagine never being accepted just as you are by your parents. Always feeling like your not good enough because you parents want to change you. Which must mean they don't love you for who you are. It's like forcing your foot into a shoe that doesn't fit. Children are a blessing created by God. They are created just as God planned. There are no mistakes that these are the children (or child) that you are given. Their strengths, God knows and accepts. Their weaknesses, God knows and accepts. We need to love our children so unconditionally that there is never any doubt in their minds ~ They are loved.

"The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of

the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there

will not be, another child like him."

~ Pablo Casals

The Storms

"Your heart is revealed and your character is forged when life doesn't turn out the way you planned. It's hard enough to get out of the boat when the wind is calm and the water's smooth. But in life that is rarely the case. Sooner or latter the storm strikes -- in your marriage, work, ministry, finances, or health. It is the act of facing the storm that you discover what lies inside you and decide what lies before you."

~from John Ortberg's "If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat."

Isn't that great? Don't we learn so much more during the storms in our life? Another quote from the book is: "Faith believes that with God, we are never helpless victims." God never said that this world would be filled with wonderful days that we never want to end. Nope. Once Adam and Eve took that bite from the tree, this world changed. The harmony between every living creature gone and sin is introduced. In fact, once we becomes Christian's we go through more struggles. BUT ~ there is a difference between going through things and becoming victims. The victim card is easy because it's everyone else's fault. Look at Joseph's life. His brothers' took his robe put blood on it to say he's dead. Then, sold him to slavery. He could have stopped there and became the victim, but he didn't.

This life is going to be filled with storms. What are we going to do? Just sit in the boat and watch Peter get out while secretly thinking that he's crazy? If we do, that we miss out. To live life as God has planned. God wants us all to walk on water with him. Amazing to really think about that. Little me. Little you. Out of our little comfort zones and walk towards Jesus. Yep, great book and I'm only half way through. :~)

Created for Good

Ephesians 2:8-10

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not

from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works so that no on can

boast. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do

good works, which God prepared in advanced for us to do."

Sometimes God has to beat it over your head to get your attention. Or maybe it's just me? :) Verse 10 has been brought to my attention not just once lately. I can think of at least three times in the last couple days God has given me this verse. I'm thinking that He wants me to pay attention.

It's the last part of this verse that makes me re-read time and time again. We are supposed to be doing good works which God's already made plans for. He has things set up for us. Prepared for us. Yes, we have the choice if we're going to do it or not because of free will but God's already set it us for us. Wow! Now, it's up to us and decide if we're ready to step our on faith and do it!

I've been reading "If you want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat" by John Ortberg. It really is a great book that I recommend. I've been going through it slowly and just trying to absorb it instead of just reading it. I will have to write a post about it. Right now though, I'm just open. Open to the possiblities. Open to God's direction. Open to friendship. Open to help others...just open.