Becoming More Me

If I heard anything from older, wiser women it is this: 1) My kids will be grown-up and gone before I know it, so I better enjoy these moments when I want to kill them. And 2) The 30's were some of their best years. Here I am in the middle of my 30's wondering if I'll be able to say that.

For women, the 20's can be hard. Still unsure about them self. Some are by themselves wondering if or when they will fall in love. Some are newly married and trying to figure that out. Some are a new Mommy tired, exhausted, and nervous. In your 20's, it still very easy to be concerned about what other's are thinking ...and saying...about you. Old friends seem to disappear into their own lives leaving you to create one of your own. Which, I found a bit scary at the time.

Now, in my 30's, I am more....huummmm....I am becoming more ME. My beliefs are not easily shaken. My faith is strong. I am still self-conscience but not as much as in my 20's. (I think that's part of being a woman!) I know what I like and what I don't like. Which is good and bad because I realize that I don't like any of my furniture!! LOL My kids are freaking out a bit because I am looking at red, purple, and yellow things on Craigslist! ;D I'm an old iron bed with a quilt on it. Handmade throws for the couch kinda' girl. The rocking chair which I rocked all my children in. (I sound like an old lady, don't I?) I am a God's Girl that loves to serve and be involved. I am having friends and family over...just because. I am an open door and an open heart. I realize that in my 30's, I am becoming more ME. And, I think that's okay.

"You can't expect to find this amazing person if you're
not growing and becoming a better person yourself...the
harvest depends on the seed." ~ Unknown

Oh ~ one more thing... just a litte update. Our month of January service project will be Saturday (yes, I know it's February 4th..lol) at LifeSource in Fayetteville. I can't wait!!

Miracles Past And Present

"Seek the LORD and his strength;
seek his presence continually!
Remember the wondrous works that he has done,
his miracles..." Psalm 105:4-5

The Bible is full of Miracles everywhere. There are healings, feeding people, and the Red Sea to name a few. But, today, in this world...what do we have? Cancer. Famine. Heart Disease. Autism. Alzheimer's. Stroke. And that's just the beginning. Each of us are touched by this in some way. Heartache is everywhere. This world is so far from the Garden on Eden.

It is very easy to miss the miracles that God sends our way now...each day. Little pieces of encouragement to keep us going. Sunrises and sunsets. Sweet kisses. Laundry being done. We need to remember, though, not to limit God. God can still do the big stuff. God is still a healing God. (can I get an AMEN!) God can still take the rain in our life and create a rainbow. God can take little ol' you and me and make us the image of God. Yes, Big Stuff.

So many things do not happen the way I think it should. (be honest, I know it's not only me!) Or maybe I think that God's timer is a bit off and it needs rewound to get moving again. (again, not just me, right?!) We need to just LET GO. (me included on that) God has a plan that you may not understand right now. You need to look back on your lives and remember all that God has brought you through. The Miracles that God has made possible. God has brought you this far and He's not about to let you down now.

Year of Service

I have really been thinking about service hood lately. We've discussed it in church and Sunday school several times lately. (God know's how to connect all those dots doesn't He??) Did you know that the word servant(s) is mentioned in the Bible 965 times in the King James Version? The words service and serve are mentioned 341 in the KJV. Maybe God is trying to tell us something.

"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom
as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For
the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as
yourself.” ~ Galatians 5:13-14

"Even the Son of Man came not be served, but to serve..."
Matthew 20:28 & Mark 10:45

This isn't the first time that God has brought this to my attention. In 2009, my children and I set out to volunteer once a month a different organizations. This is a picture of the kids at the Veteran's Retirement Home. We did good for the first half of the year. Then, my focus got shifted. It's harder than you might think to find different places that will take younger children to help. But no excues, it got difficult and I gave up. Not my kids, they still mention how they want to start volunteering again. We all loved it.

So, this year, we are going to start and finish our year of service. Some months might be yardwork for some widow's in the church. The kids, of course, want to go back to the animal shelter we went last time. Joey loves the elderly so we'll be visiting a nursing home or two. What ever doors that God leads us too...we'll trust Him to open.

Letting Go...

Let go and let God have control. We all have heard this time and time again. And, hopefully, we have all been to a point in our lives where we have to let go. We get pushed to the point when our hands fly off the steering wheel of our lives and we brace for impact. Hand it over to God.

Yet, sometimes it is so hard to do. We want to fix it. Especially when it comes to family. All of those buttons get pushed and we go into the try anything until it works mode. Yes, I'm speaking from experience. My brother comes to mind. Him and his wife live in the same town that I do. We live about 10 minutes away from one another. Sounds great so far, right? It gets worse from there. I haven't seen him since my Dad's funeral in 2009. He wouldn't even show up in the spring of 2010 when we did his ashes. Before that, it had been four or fives years since I'd seen him. I've tried to fix it on my own. Inviting him over for bar-b-ques and holidays. Writing him letters. Sending him pictures of my kids thinking he might actually want to be an uncle to them. Praying for God to open his heart. To change his heart. This has been going on for years.

You know what I realize now though? I never really did take my hands off the wheel. I always, somehow, included me in the 'fix it' part. I always put me in the equation. I know in the deepest part of me that I have done nothing to deserve this. So then I need to consider something else. Maybe this isn't even about me. (light bulb moment!) It's about him. I can't make it all better. There isn't any magic wand that I have which can undo our childhood. Just because God has given me the strength to heal, move on, and still talk about it ~ doesn't mean that my brother is there yet. Just because he is my big brother ~ doesn't mean he is as far on his path of healing as I am. Maybe I have been looking at it wrong this whole time. Maybe I need to stop asking God to open and change his heart but just to heal it. Who do you need to let go and just place in God's hands?

“Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you
shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give,
and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken
together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with
the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:37-38

Looking Ahead

I was looking at last year's post about the coming year, Focus of 2011. It is always interesting to see what you thought would happen. I mentioned my word for 2009 was forgiveness. For 2010, it was struggles. In 2011, well, I thought that I was done with the pruning and moving on to the sowing. It turns out that God was not through pruning me yet! I'd say now, looking back on the year, my word for 2011 was faith.

What about the New Year? What word will be the focus of 2012? I don't really know. I'm not sure what next month will bring. The word that comes to mind is renewal. My favorite verses comes to mind:

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the
weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble
and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow
weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:29-31

Renewal. Our strength maybe weak. We may be tired and weary. The world has a way of beating you up and throwing you down. But, God, He is the source of my renewal. He is the source of my strength. He can be yours too. Each and every day, I am renewed in Him. I am restored in Him. I am revived in Him. I am made new again. I will walk and not be faint. I shall stay the coarse and keep walking.... funny the things that God will pop in your head to bring a smile...in my head I hear Dory from Finding Nemo singing... "just keep swimming, just keep swimming..." That is what I shall do.