Journey With Jen

Autism Just a word...like many others.... six little letters strung together. Yet, what difference it can make. I kind of bypassed the denial stage. I knew something was wrong between 3-4 years old. Most people thought he was just immature for his age. So, I went searching. Checked out books and books ...and yes, more books. Between 5 & 6 years, his autistic tendencies only happened at home. Teachers wouldn't believe me. Doctor's in Little Rock didn't believe me. Yet, in one of the books, there was a boy with high functioning autism. He could hide it enough from the outside world, that he didn't get diagnosed until he was late teens. It reminded me of Luke. I found out what is was! It also gave me pointers on how to curb the meltdowns. What was "normal" and was wasn't. So many things I've learned through the years. So many adjustments and misconceptions, by family and friends and teachers. (even now) But, honestly, I didn't know anything about ...

Simple Pleasures ~ A few days ago we went to Hickory Creek to swim. It was a first for the kids and I. Kent went there a lot growing up, but to me, a lake meant fishing because of my Dad. To me, that equaled boring, so I never went. Kent is amazed that I missed so many fun experiences and turned out semi-normal. (yeah, I had to put the semi.. haha !) I did miss out on some of the simple things growing up. Halloween candy. Feeding ducks at the park. Swimming at the lake. But looking back, one of the simple things I remember is that my Great Aunt always sent me a card. A card for Easter. A card for my birthday. A card for Christmas. Even Thanksgiving sometimes. A card just for me with my name on it and a stamp. She never did spell my name right, but it didn't matter. The Simple Pleasures Those moments that I want my family to remember me for. So, let's pack some sandwiches and head out. For a swim. For a hike. For a picnic. Or stay in and bake some cookies. Or repaint a room. Or...

Where I am ... It seems weird to be writing again. It has always been the easiest way for me to express myself, yet some how ~ it became lost. In high school, I wrote poetry trying to get my point across. Most of it, never read by others. Then, early twenties, it was the journal. Trying to figure out how my life got to that point and what to do with it now. I'd go to Hastings and buy a couple self help books, read, and journal. I figured out how to Forgive. I learned that forgiveness is not for the other person, but for yourself. I also learned to Let Go. That hanging on to the pain is not true forgiveness, but you must let go so the pain and hurt have no control over you any longer. Looking back, I am amazed really that I got it at such a young age. That is when my relationship with God began. I know that God was there. Guiding me. Healing me. Forgiving me. I am glad that I learned about forgiveness and letting go then, so I no long carry the baggage from my past. My childhood. I...