I have to admit -- I am one of those Momma's that haven't taken very good of herself. I've definitely put myself last for most of my life. My kids, of course, always came first. I love being a Momma. While my kids were still young, my dad got cancer and my brother stepped away. So it was on me to take care of. My husband had his first heart issues at 39 years old. Then, for the next 15 years he collected doctors, surgeries, and appointments. My mom's crazy finally got diagnosed because I got her to a hospital by lying to her. Once again, my brother bowed out. The Lord knows it's been a lot. I know that's why He protected me and this frail body for so many years. I was holding things together for too many people.
Who has time to fall apart?
As a mom, so many times we feel the weight of our little world right on our shoulders. And we just keep going... keep pushing. Doing this. Going here. Signing up for this or that. Going and going just trying to make it to the next day. Running and running on the hamster wheel of life. Because if I don't do it. Then no one else will. And then apparently, the world will fall apart. Or so I tell myself.
Not that I never went to the doctor. I went once or twice a year for strep to a walk in clinic. When I was 40, I decided I would be a big girl and get everything checked out. So, I went to my husbands PCP and had the panel of blood work done. I went and got my boobs smooshed so flat ya' wanna cry. And my feet in the dreaded stirrups we all hate. Check. Check. And Check. Everything was fine so let's continue with life. Pushing and running and doing....
Don't worry, yes, 8 years later I finally got my own doctor. I decided that 2024 would work on my health. Went to the doctor, got bloodwork checked out, currently on a lifetime of medicine. 😁 Seriously, just one medication -- not bad for years of neglecting myself. I can look back at the year and say, that yes, I am finally taking steps to take better care of me. Should I have done it earlier? Yeah... but Life is messy. And busy. Plans don't always work out the way we wanted them to. Sometimes plans A, B, And C don't work out. Sometimes plan D is going okay and a curveball comes your way. We just don't know what is up ahead.
So where ever that you are on your own journey, take a moment and just breathe. Whether you have kids screaming, "Momma" and not letting you go pee in by yourself. Or your in the years where you are their chauffer and they don't want your opinion. (or your rules) Maybe your at home praying they come back in one piece before curfew. I am at the point where I just want them all around a table laughing as we play a few games. (unfortunately, it doesn't happen a lot) Life is messy. And in the middle of the chaos, God is there. Take a moment. Or maybe two. Find the Joy that God is giving you today. Breathe in the peace that He offers today. Don't worry -- He has more in store for you tomorrow. You cannot pour into your family, your friends, or your work -- when you show up with an empty cup. Take care of YOU. God has made you for a purpose. He has put you where you are at for a reason. Yes, it might be hard. Yes, you will have times you want to give up. Just take that moment with God. Let Him fill you with a strength, peace, love. Let Him fill your cup so much it overflows. So, then, you have something to give others.
And Honey, it takes more than driving through Starbucks to fill you up. That can be a start. But, you have to take care of you so that you can take care of everyone else. One cup of coffee isn't going to cut it. Find your joy. Find your peace. Give God a chance to speak to you. Do those little things to take care of you this year. It is not selfish. Don't let others tell you it is. My husband tried to guilt me when I wanted to hike more on my two free Saturdays a month and it worked for a while. I stayed home those Saturdays cleaning house, watching him watch tv, or sleep in the chair. Until I finally told him that I am going, he can choose to go with me, or he can stay home. It is his choice. Being out in the woods is good for my mental, physical, and spiritual self. I needed those couple hours twice a month to take care of me. What are things that you can do to make you more calm and centered this new year? How does taking care of you look? Also, don't be like me and wait 8 years to get a check-up. We have to get our check engine light checked out before we fall apart.
