Be Still

Some days it is easy to find the blessings around you.  Those days where you feel your bucket overfilling spilling over.  When you just glow with happiness. You turn on the radio and it's that song you love that you haven't heard in a while.  Those days when your kids remember to say, "thank you" or "love you Momma." Those days were your gas tank isn't low and the roads are long. Then, there are the other days.....

The days when the stupid alarm won't let you sleep and it's only 5:30.  Or the other days when it some how lets you sleep and you only have 30 minutes to get everyone up and be at work.  Those days when no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to do anything right... and there are plenty of people to let you know about it.  Those days where you end the day not physically tired, but emotionally drained.  done. exhausted. The white flag is now raised, I give up.  Please leave me alone.  Let me curl up in a ball so no one can see me because I'm so small.  (My kids and I always loved that children's book)

There are circumstances when you try this and it doesn't work.  So, you try something else and you seem to slip farther away from the goal.  You must remember that sometimes God just wants you to stop and be still.  There are times when God wants total dependency on Him.  He lets us try things our way and wonder why it is not working.  That's when we cry out to God and ask for help.  That is the moment that God has been waiting for.  For you to turn to Him.  To realize that you need Him.  In the middle of the storm you are going through, just take a deep breath and be still.  God knows your circumstances and He knows your heart.  He is just waiting for that invitation.

"The Lord will fight for you, you only have to be silent."  -  Exodus 14:14

"Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  - Isiah 41:10

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety."  - Psalm 18:2

Summer of Changes

It's been around 24 days since schools been out.  I am realizing a few things.  The days of staying up until 3 am finishing a book are gone.  I'm old and my eyes are way too blurring at 3 am to be reading small print.  I realize that without a list of things to get done... I am way too easily sidetracked.  :D  I have done nothing of that "oh, I'll get that done during the summer" list.  I have done a lot of hiking.  I have gone to little towns I've never been before.  I have cheered at some soccer games.  I have tried Hurts Donuts and Burton's Creamery.  I have wondered in local book stores.  I've played in the Buffalo River a few times already.  Nothing fancy, but good days.

I look at my kids and I know all of it is about to change.  Joey is starting his second year of college.  Next summer, he wants to be a counselor at YoungLife camp for  month out of state.  Luke will be working full time soon.  These days of just jumping in the van with all three kids will be rare.  Soon enough, it will be just Faith and I.  Well, it will probably be me, Faith, and either:  1.  Cooper  2.  Zoe  Or a combination plus a few more.  And, well, that's okay.

Yeah, I know, I've had to get used to the whole "boyfriend" idea as well.  Look at your baby girls and know that it will happen.  Your little pig-tailed, tomboy, baby girl will soon want to wear dresses and heels.   Probably a lot sooner then you will want.  Hopefully, she will pick some one with some substance and not just a pretty face or the star of  the football team.  Faith has picked a good one.  Which, one side of me, makes me proud of her....the other side makes me worried because she is only 15.  They are just babies but they've been together almost two years already.  They have so much ahead of them -- good and bad. 

But, he is her best friend and she is his, which is the way it should be. So, we will make room for one more.  Just as his family has made room for Faith.  Faith's older brothers have accepted him and like him.  They have found things in common to talk about.  Their favorite is picking on Faith together.  :)   High school years can bring many changes as kids figure out who they really are and their groups of friends usually change.  Who knows what will happen over the next 3 years.  I am glad that they have each other as they begin this next chapter.  I've realized that the word boyfriend doesn't always mean drama, which is what I feared.  Relationships in junior high and high school are so up and down and drama filled that I didn't want any part for my kids.  I wanted my kids to grow up and figure out who they really are before dealing with that drama.  But, Faith and Cooper have shown that it doesn't have to be that way.  Will they make it through high school and college together?  They have a better chance than most.  I have no way of knowing, but I am glad he is here now. And, I expect him to be around for many more adventures. 

My Judgemental Self

My kids have been giving a hard time about being judgemental lately.  Telling me that I am such a judgemental person.  But, I beg to differ.  I really am pretty open.  Tattoos, long hair on guys, weird fashion statements....what ever.  May not agree with having a tattoo of an eye on your bald head but if you can live with it, then so can I.  Not to get political, but I even figure that it is not my right to judge whether it is right or wrong to be gay.  I'll let God decide that.  It is not for me to judge.  The Bible says to love your neighbor.  You can't do that if your condemning them to Hell from across the street.  There is one thing that I know I am judgemental on. Girls that dress slutty.  I just want to slap the girl's momma's or ask the adults "did you even look in the mirror??"

 Okay, girls if you are walking around with a wedgie -- your shorts might be too tight.  Seriously, it doesn't even look comfortable.  Just last night there was a 15 year old with shorts like this.  No, this is not her.  I am not some weird stalker talking pictures of a little girls booty!  Geez guys, give me a break!

Oh, and we live in the middle of it all:   horror stories of people at Wal-Mart! I'd gladly see some one in the pj's compared to the lady yestereday.  I went to Wal-Mart and while driving out of the parking lot there was a fairly large lady with skinny jeans, tight low cut shirt, and 4 or 5" red high heels.  Yes, quite the combo there.  As I am sitting in the van and asked my kids if they saw the lady with the red heels, they totally missed it.  I know it's bad, but a part of me was a bit sad so we could talk about how bad she look. :D  See, yes I am so judgemental on the slutty look and I admit it.

I know it's human nature to look at other's and size them up.  Appearance is part of that.  My oldest really doesn't get it.  He wears clothes that don't match half the time and totally does not look at appearances.  I'll say something about some one walking by and he seriously doesn't even notice.  In a way, I am proud that I raised him like that.  It shows me that besides the slutty look... I'm not really a judgemental person.  Otherwise, Joey would be more judgemental than he is. (that's logical, right?)

If girls could just keep things a little more covered or sometimes looser, we could all get along.  Shorts are not supposed to be the same size as your underwear. Having your boobs hang out of your shirt might be great at a nightclub,but I don't need to see that at Wal-Mart.  Skinny jeans and 4" heels can really only be pulled off by Beyonce.  And I know this sounds REALLY old fashioned, but here it goes:  just because you have the body to pull off a bikini doesn't mean you really need to wear one.  Yeah, the whole everyone has one, doesn't work for this Momma.  Don't care.  Not going to say that everyone who wears one looks slutty, but just saying my daughter isn't wearing one.  You can look more attractive covering up a little bit then putting it all out there.  I know that makes me sound really old, but little triangles covering up my baby girl is not going to work.

There it is.  My judgemental self is out there now, warts and all.  If your one of those Momma's that let your teenage daughter wear the triangles for a swimsuit or underwear for shorts, I apologize now for the thoughts that will go through my head this summer.  Being a mom to a teenage girl is hard and we have to make tough decisions. In some ways, I guess I am more conservative than I thought.  I know that there are times, my daughter does not agree with me, but I am hoping that in long run -- she will.