Forgiveness

"Life with God is not immunity from difficulties,

but Peace in difficulties."  --  C.S. Lewis

Where would we be without the strength and comfort of God?  I honestly don't understand how the non-believers make it through life.  Our life can be hard at times:  kids, parents, relationships, financial, health...the list can go on and on.  And if this life is all that there is, why keep going?

I did not grow up in church or in a family that prayed or even talked about God.  Did they believe in God? I am not sure.  I had friends that went to church but I never had a relationship with God myself.  For me, there was a very distinct line in my life: before God and after.  I grew up with abuse in my home.  There was always the big elephant in the middle of the room that no one dared mention.  I couldn't even tell my friends. There was little hope and I didn't understand why this happened to me.  Why is this my life?

I had to get to the bottom of my pit before I was ready. The anger I had built up.  The emptiness I felt.  The feeling of being all alone against the world as a teenager -- it was devastating.   That's where God found me.  Broken and empty.  God didn't swoop in and change my circumstances, but He gave me hope.  With God, I was able to let go of the anger and forgive even the unforgivable.  I was able to mend relationships with my family and go on from there.

I am able to see what life would be like if I had not let God heal my heart.  My brother has built walls, holds grudges, and holds on to his anger.  What has that given him?  He is missing out on being an uncle to three great kids.  He wouldn't even know Joey if he passed him on the street and we live in the same town!!  He was never there the 2 years that God gave me with my Dad before he passed away of cancer.  He never attended any doctor appointments.  He never called my dad to grab lunch.  My Dad's funeral was the last time I actually saw him. My brother doesn't have a relationship with any of his family.

Family is too precious.  I've drove many miles to watch my niece and nephew play baseball and soccer.  Baked many cookies, cheesecakes and chocolate cakes for them as well.  I would never give up my role as their favorite aunt.  :)  My adult nieces will sit by me...sometimes on me...hold my hand and catch up.  My nephew is married and hopefully be bringing a baby in family in the next couple years.  Love them!!  I can't imagine being like my brother and not having those relationships.  It makes me sad for him.  People are irreplaceable.

So is God.  That empty feeling inside your heart cannot be filled with stuff. Nor can it be filled with any person in your life. It's amazing the way God made you.  That place is reserved especially for Him. 

"Dear children, keep away
 from anything that 
might take God's 
place in your hearts."

1 John 5:21

Mean Girls

As your kids grow up, you realize that somethings stay the same.  There will always be those certain jocks that seem to have it all.  There's those cheerleaders that will do anything to have others like them.  The weird ones that you kinda' ignore because you don't really know what to make of them. The kids that seem only to have the color black in their closet and try to sound very deep but end up sounding stupid.  (okay, maybe that was only in the 90's!)  And, of course, there are the mean girls.  I am not saying that guys cannot be mean, but girls - they can take it to another level.

 As a mom with boys and a girl, I am thankful that I only have to go through this once! You guys that have multiple girls, God must have knew you could handle it! :)  The momma bear in me comes out and I am not very nice. The first mean girl for Faith was in elementary school and was actually a school counselors daughter.  Ironic, huh?  Too bad the mother's empathy did not get taught to her children.

Junior high there is another one, of course.  I am sure that her mom has no idea as well.  Which is sad.  If my kids ever do anything like this, I would like to know.  It will be taken care of.  My boys are bigger than me now and 18 and older, but it would still be taken care of.  My daughter's social life would be ending.   There is no reason to treat others disrespectfully.  I know this girl is very insecure and this is her way of making herself feel better.  She has to put my daughter down to build herself up.  Jealousy comes in many forms and this is one of them.  At first, it really hurt Faith.  She cried many tears over this "friend."  Faith tried to change herself so this girl would accept her.  She tried to do the rules this "friend" made up.  Yeah, Faith jumped through many hoops trying to save this friendship until she realized that no matter what she did - it would still not be good enough.  That was a good day.  She just walked away.  I know that it still bother's her but I don't believe it hurts her anymore.  I know that in time, others will be able to see what kind of person she really is and decide it's not worth it too.

Instead, we are focusing of the real friends in her life.  The ones that will be there through the ups and down that are coming in high school.  The friends that want what's best for each other.  That are happy when you succeed.  That will give you a hard time when you need it.   That will be there when you need to talk.  The friendships we all need in life.  The blessings God gives us to help us make it.

"Blowing out someone else's candle, doesn't make yours shine any brighter."

"People who are not happy with themselves, cannot possibly be happy with you."