Frustration

Frustrated.

That's where I find myself.  I am an opinionated person.  I'll admit that.  However, I usually talk about it with a few people and keep it to myself around others.  I am not good at confronting my source of frustration.  I bury it until I get to this point and I want to explode.  Yes, I do know it's not the healthiest way of dealing with things.  :D

Also know that it's not the attitude that I should have.  We are supposed to be like God.  God puts up with a lot from us... from me.  Yet, He loves me through it all.  He doesn't throw up His hands with me and walk away. 

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 

or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 

 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,  but  rejoices with the truth. 

 Love bears all things, believes  all things, hopes all things, 

endures all things."  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

That is a lot to live up to.  Love is long suffering.  Frustration is short-tempered.  But, I am human and sometimes this world makes it hard to be here.  Sometimes people make it hard.  Sometimes I get tired of biting my tongue and going with the flow.  What am I supposed to do?  Give it all to Him. 

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly

 in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy,

 and my burden is light.”  1 Matthew 11:28-29

 So, I am trying.  Right now, honestly, I am not there yet.  I don't want to bury it until it pops back up later.  I want to let go of it.  I'll get there.  Just not today....

 "casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

Gifts of the Season

It's been a while since I've posted.   I was in a bit of a funk for a while.  Felt like I was on the hamster wheel not going anywhere.  It was like I was getting further and further behind and there wasn't anything I could do about it.  For example, two $400 electric bills in August and September.  Our house is not some mansion over the hilltop.  It's a little over 2000 square feet.  And our thermostat was set at 76 in summer.  Electric company wouldn't even send some one out to look and check the meter.  Nothing, no help what's so ever.  Then, we finally get those paid off and we had another $500 unexpected thing pop up.  Plus, making trips for Joey's band trip every month.  Faith has a trip to Disney in January that I was supposed to chaperon.  Life can wear ya down, you know?  Where else could I go but to God?  He knows how stretched we are.  He knows our circumstances before I ask.  So, I gave God the worries on my heart and asked for help.   God gave us an unexpected check in the mail that got us caught up.  Joey's band payment got made yet again.  I did have to step-down from going to Disney with Faith.  Just makes me so sad that I couldn't be there.  All of the other kids have at least 1 parent going, but I couldn't put that financial strain on my own family for a trip for myself.

Our first snow in our house.  So pretty!

Now, it's Christmas time.  As they get older and I get wiser, it is less and less about the presents under the tree.  When they were smaller, I'd start during the summer if I found a sale.  Then, it moved to starting in the fall and being done by December 1st.  This year, the first gifts I even bought was a couple movies at 7 am on black Friday.  Seriously.  My husband couldn't believe it.  Black Friday and I came home with a couple movies, fabric, and a toy for my youngest niece.  That's it.  I did some shopping online these past days snowed in.  Now, I am basically done.  Not because I've gone crazy on some awesome sales, but because a couple things they really want under the tree is enough.  There isn't any fluff under there.  There is not clothes that I picked out under there.  Or things they will think is cool for 10 minutes then forget about.  They each have a a couple things under the tree and a couple things for their stocking.  It is enough.

 Annual walk through the lights

 I am looking forward to spending time with my family.  Reading the real Christmas story and Twas the Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve like we always do.  Waking up and singing, "Happy Birthday to Jesus!"  over the birthday cake we bake every year.  Then, having family over for a hot meal after presents have been opened.  Playing a few games and just making some memories with one another.  Once you quit worrying about the gifts that do not matter, the real gift of the season can be yours.  The gift of love.   Love from your Savior.  Love with your family.  What a blessing!